Is this strange? Hubbys friend?

[Lullaby88]

So one my hubbys friends im finding a bit odd. He is very helpful and friendly and I have nothing against him. We have been over to eachothers houses and had meals. he is married with kids. Me and his wife dont really get on in the sense we are just very formal to eachother. She seems quite aloof tbh. We just meet for the sake of our husbands to chatter.
Anyway whenever Iv been out on my own for a walk with my child which id routinely do everyday we would always bump into eachother as in he would be driving and id be walking. Maybe he would be coming back from work to have lunch as it was always the same time. He would slow the car and look and smile. Which i thought was kind of him so id smile back. But it was like allll the time and he would stare, slow down and he also began waving. So id wave back and smile. Now all that is fine.. but the strange thing is when my husband is around he literally wont bat an eyelid my way or even speak to me. Once me, him and hubby were standing together and he just blanked me out completly. This has been happening for ages now. Mayb im overthinking? So havent mentioned it to hubby as its all a bit cringe to think or mention it!

Sounds odd, the only other thought is that does he think your DH would be unhappy with him talking to you? Sad if your DH would be, or that he thinks that, as it is perfectly normal when meeting a couple to speak to both of them.

a grown woman using the word hubby is a bit cringe as well.

Going on your last update, could he avoid engaging you in conversation around DH as he is a bit possessive? I'm not sure why DH would automatically be displeased that a friend who comes round regularly waves at you in passing, if they take the same route.

Agree with this. Really weird of your husband, sounds like he knows something you don't or he's possessive. Not liking his mate waving at you?! Unless he's waving his dick that's so odd.

Sounds like your DH is possessive and his friend knows it, which is why he doesn't talk to you when your DH is there but is friendly when he's not.

Maybe the guy has form for being a sleaze, and your DH knows it, which is why DH doesn’t like the fact that he waves at you. Also maybe the guy is worried about DH catching on that he fancies you, so goes out of his way in DH’s presence to make out that he doesn’t like you?

Either none if this has actually happened outside your head OR the other 3 characters in this mini-drama are trying to make you feel you are going mad, Hitchcock stylee

Maybe he's inexplicably drawn to people who write 'eachother'?

Hi Op
I too find it bit weird your husband does not like you waving or skilling at a mural friend,
Why is that then?
Perfectly normal thing to do,

Op
I think your husband Mutal friend has got a bit of school boy type of Crush on you .
😊
And when he is in company with your husband and wife he wants to hide it,as its bit Arkward an embarrassing for him to have feelings like that about his good friends wife.L.o.l😀

Maybe the guy has form for being a sleaze, and your DH knows it, which is why DH doesn’t like the fact that he waves at you

Oh that makes sense! my guess was that friend is the kind of creep who disparages women he's attracted to and regularly badmouths OP to her husband. This theory puts OP's husband in a better light than mine does.

The word hubby sets my teeth on edge.

Besides that, are you in the UK? It sounds like this may be non UK which could impact expectations around interacting.

However, if it was me I would be changing my routine and I’d make a point of bringing up that you saw him driving home for lunch in front of his wife and your DH.

Op
I Also think your husband friend senses or knows your husband is possessive about you, and previous relantships in the past,before you came along, if he mutual friend has known your husband a long time.
Does he your husband have form for being bit jealous possessive,

Your husband thinks it is weird to wave at a friend of his?? What?

I have a neighbour who took my occasional hello smile to begin stopping for a chat which I really didn't welcome. He started asking personal questions which were fairly harmless but not things I would have dreamed of asking him about himself.
One hot day I was only wearing a teeshirt and jeans (no coat) and saw him looking me up and down as I approached him in my road.

He has a wife as I see them out together. He gives me the creeps. I describe men like him as "slimy" chancers.

Is your husband generally possessive?

Because his reaction is weird.

I am more taken aback by your DH asking why you are waving at him and then saying it is weird he waves at you than the guy waving when he passes you on the street.

Why would he feel jealous at that??? I guess the friend is just being polite and blanking you in front of DH because he knows DH wouldn’t like it?

Change the route/time?

Ask your husband instead of agonising over it and possible made up scenarios? If that had been my dh i wouldve immediately said "why are you being weird about your friend waving at me? Surely it would be even more weird for us not to acknowledge one another. And by the way, ive noticed he doesnt acknowledge me when youre around - why do you think that is?" Wouldve been the perfect opportunity to bring it up!

He does probably fancy you and maybe thinks he's in with a chance but doesn't want your DH to punch him?

Trust your gut feeling, OP. I wouldn't say that him waving to you is weird in and of itself, but if it feels weird then you're probably right.

Don’t go out when he maybe coming home for lunch, or go the other way

@TSBelliot

Your husband finds it odd if you wave at a mutual friend and questions you? That’s the oddest bit!

Yes, absolutely to this! What's your husband's beef?

In fact, the oddest bits of this are that you and the friend's wife, despite not being on friendly terms, continually see one another so that your husbands can socialise -- if you aren't friends with her, and don't particularly want to, why don't your husbands just see one another one on one?

I do think you're overthinking a bit, unless there's a backstory you haven't shared -- he may just have poor social skills, and literally doesn't notice your presence when your husband is there to chat to. I mean, I think it's a bit much to assume he ignores you because he's suppressing an attraction.

He is a weirdo, ignore him.

Never understood why people create all this angst, and don’t just talk to each other. Eg: “DH, it’s quite strange. I see Bob every day and we wave at each other, but he totally ignores me when we’re all together?!”

From earlier post. Exactly

@Lullaby88

I guess I never saw it that way! But id be friendly and say hi and he wont even smile at me in the presence of my DH. Once he was waving at my hubby, my hubby had his hand on the steering wheel so I waved at him as he does it so regular. And my DH was like why the heck u waving at him for? And i said oh he waves at me everyday. And my DH was like oh thats quite odd. And he didnt look too happy about it. Just went quiet.

Your husband is the oddball if he asks you aggressively why you are waving at someone you know who is waving at the two of you. And for sayings its odd that someone you know waves at you, and looking unhappy about it.

Maybe this guy has hit onto the fact that your husband's jealousy is on overdrive and that's why he ignore you when your husband is there.
The cause of all this might be your husband's feelings, not this guy's.

I'd be less concerned by the waving than by the blanking you in front of your DH - so rude.

I'd be less inclined to think he fancies you and more that he's just plain weird.

@TatianaBis

I'd be less concerned by the waving than by the blanking you in front of your DH - so rude.

I'd be less inclined to think he fancies you and more that he's just plain weird.

Yes, poor social skills seem like a more probable explanation than that he secretly worships the OP but isn't letting it show.