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Relationships

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Original poster

Bf moving in during for lockdown only, should he pay bills?!

81 replies

katiie3 · 11/01/2021 12:50

Hi everyone

My bf and I are both single households ( no children) and live on our own.

He asked me during this third lockdown, if he could move into mine (my house is more accessible and there are more rooms to work from home for both of us)

So he is moving in until April/may until lockdown is reviewed again.

We haven’t discussed bills. I think he should contribute towards the utility bills as he will be working from home too etc

How do I approach this?

OP posts:

KylieKoKo · 11/01/2021 12:54

He shouldn't become better off at your expense. Whether this is a fixed contribution towards bills or if he pays for things (e.g. food, I was going to say meals out but then remembered lockdown, petrol etc.)

If he's still maintaining his old property he might not be able to give as much as if you were moving in together permanently.

2020quelhorreur · 11/01/2021 12:56

Is he maintaining his normal home?

Justmuddlingalong · 11/01/2021 12:56

Absolutely. Don't let the embarrassment of bringing it up mean you're financially worse off. Just mention what the expectations are over a cuppa.

custardbear · 11/01/2021 12:57

You need a plan

He'll cause more costs on water, electric, gas and food. Perhaps not 50% as he'll have his own bills to pay, but some sort of contribution to utilities
Food you need to speak about - 50:50 should be most fair

wishfuldreamer · 11/01/2021 12:58

i moved in with my partner for november lockdown - I gave him money towards the utilities, but not rent etc, because i still had my own mortgage and so on to pay, as it was only a temporary thing.

I think it's perfectly fair enough to ask for some contribution for the gas and electric, water, and food. I don't think it's a hard thing to broach - you just say. though, tbh, it should have occurred to him to just ask already what kind of contribution you want...

VettiyaIruken · 11/01/2021 13:03

You don't ask him if he wants to.
You tell him that he needs to cover the additional costs of him being there.

Palavah · 11/01/2021 13:04

"ooh, this is exciting isn't it. Shall we have a chat about logistics on Tuesday? Or Thursday? I think we need to talk about bills, groceries, and work spaces. What else?"

ALittleBitConfused1 · 11/01/2021 13:05

In reality your bills aren't going to go up hugely by having one other person there for 10 or 12 weeks and I'm guessing he will have to be paying the bills at his home (as similarly his aren't going to down are they because utility companies average these bills out over the year don't they) so I'm not sure how much he could afford to give you. I would defo expect him to contribute towards food though. Maybe pay a slightly larger amount (60/40) to make up for the very slight increase in water and elec you'd be using. Heating and c/tax/most or rent Payments aren't going to change whether he is there or not.
However if he isn't still maintaining a property while he is at yours then I would expect him to pay nearer half of everything while staying with you.

redastherose · 11/01/2021 13:05

He needs to contribute even in the short term. Perhaps say anything over the amount of your average bill for electricity/gas/water/council tax (do you need to declare him as living there? If so you will lose your single person discount) and food. Get your bank statements out and work out what your average bills are then come to an agreement as to what he is to pay. If he was already coming to yours a lot then paying half for all food in addition to any additional bills and council tax is fair.

HollowTalk · 11/01/2021 13:12

The bills should be split for the time that he's with you.

What's happening with his own home? Is he still paying rent/mortgage, council tax etc there? There would be no need for heating there, would there?

Emmie12345 · 11/01/2021 13:17

I have similar to this except my dp wants spend half the month here w me due to lockdown

As I am not travelling at all to see him during this time , do we take his travelling costs (which are high , prob 120£ a month ) into account too ?

Sorry to hijack op ! Good to sort it before they move in def xxx

movingonup20 · 11/01/2021 13:17

If he's maintaining his own home I would suggest you split the food and ask for a contribution towards additional utilities (he can put his heating on minimum at his house to save money) but unless it's a permanent move no I would not charge

gannett · 11/01/2021 13:25

Depends what both of your setups are to an extent - do you pay utilities as you go? Is he still paying for utilities at his place?

Honestly one extra person in the house doesn't make a huge amount of difference to utility bills, unless they use a disproportionate amount of something. I certainly wouldn't be charging any portion of rent.

But I'd definitely expect them to contribute towards groceries and household products, at least half - and if I was the one moving in I'd expect to do that.

redheadwitch · 11/01/2021 13:26

A lot of people are mentioning his continuing to pay costs for his own home. Please bear in mind that the cost in his own home will reduce over the period he is living at yours. He will not be consuming as much water, heat or electricity at his own property. It makes perfect sense that he should contribute to utilities for your home whilst he is there. He will be recouping that outlay down the line when his personal bills are lower.

If you dont charge him any expenses for living with you, he is actually benefitting financially and you are losing money. Its a no brainer.

gannett · 11/01/2021 13:27

Having said that if money was actually TIGHT then yes I'd ask for a contribution to utilities.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 11/01/2021 13:37

His bills aren't going to go down by that much. His electric will a bit and his gas will go down a bit but im assuming he will still keep the heating on to prevent pipes freezing in this cold weather and white goods plugged in. Obvs yes you'll need to think about council tax and whether you will loose your discount, if so I would expect him to cover that too. But as I said before utility companies usually average out over the year and provide a monthly fee so I think it would be difficult to work out a fair amount. I live alone and I also rent out a room on and off throughout the year I have months where I do and months where I don't have a 2nd person living here. This year I've haven't had anyone, due to the virus, the difference in utility bills is no more than £20 across gas water and elec. So I would ask for a fair amount towards food and household items as well as the council tax difference.

updownroundandround · 11/01/2021 13:51

I'd be considering
the bigger electricity bill,
the phone bill (if it's likely he'll be making lots of calls),
the increase in council tax (no single person discount),
the water bill (if you get that charged separately),
and the food bill

He needs to contribute 50% of food bills, and then whatever is required for the other bills affected.

I'd be getting this agreed and paid monthly for bills and every shop (even the quick dashes for milk etc, because they really add up !).

Maybe get into the habit of doing a weekly shop together and then keeping the receipts for any other things ? And a direct debit for the bills ?

YoniAndGuy · 11/01/2021 15:42

Obvs yes you'll need to think about council tax and whether you will loose your discount, if so I would expect him to cover that too.

No - he's still going to be paying CT on his place isn't he - he's temporarily staying - no I wouldn't go complicating it with CT.

He should have been the one to mention bills!!!

peak2021 · 11/01/2021 15:52

He should pay a share of food and gas/electric at least. Have a chat.

Dontbeme · 11/01/2021 17:04

Did he not offer anything towards bills when he asked to move in OP?

Bluntness100 · 11/01/2021 17:08

I assume he is maintaining his own place?

I’d say solit utilities as he will,save on lights, heating, water etc, and obvs a fifty fifty on food unless one of you eats or drinks a lot more than the other.

Bluntness100 · 11/01/2021 17:09

Yes, I’m curious. Did he not offer.?

Also why are you asking how to approach it? That’s a huge red flag if you can’t discuss money, and if he didn’t offer, then it’s a whole row of bunting.

Howshouldibehave · 11/01/2021 17:12

Why is he moving in until April/May? Isn’t lockdown going to reviewed in a few weeks?

Bluntness100 · 11/01/2021 17:16

@Howshouldibehave

Why is he moving in until April/May? Isn’t lockdown going to reviewed in a few weeks?

Yeah, somethings not right about this.

I hope it’s not he is moving in, hoping the op will pay for everything so he doesn’t need to heat or light his home all day every day then basically stay and get to live rent free. As in cock lodger in the making.

Support bubbles are allowed, there is no reason for him to move in.

SimonJT · 11/01/2021 17:16

We did this and then it became permanent, until he moved in permanently and was put on the council tax my bills only went up by about 1/5 each month.

He paid a third of food and utilities, so to be honest I ended up making a profit. He was then made redundant so I decided not to take any money from him until he found another job.

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