BRAVE BABES - the bus keeps trundling on...

[venusandmars]

We filled up the last thread, but never fear, we're always here!

Whatever your issue with drinking, whether you just want some encouragement with dry January or whether you've reached your rock bottom and need to quit. Everyone is welcome. You'll find support, encouragement, help. You'll find lots of understanding folks, who won't minimise your problem but who will never judge you. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from almost 11 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hello. I’m also a very long term
lurker and very occasional poster. It is so lovely to see some names from the past here and to think that the bus is on the move again - I feared its days we’re up.

Congratulations SmallFox - a year is massive!

I’m on day 6 which is about as far as I’ve ever got on this journey but this year I am determined that I owe it to my liver (and my family) to make it through the month. After that, who knows? I’m trying not to think about that just yet.

Good luck to us all. We can do this!

Hi @SmallFox thanks for the reply.
Well done on AF for a year. It seems impossible for me.

I would love to just become a normal drinker but I don't think that's possible

Drink is ruining everything but I just want to block everything out

Wow, Small, Hedj/Demented, you were the life and soul here, with Venus and Mars, and many more when I got on the bus first about 4 or 5 years ago. There were octopus and opal fruit sniggers, and this was such a warm, friendly and slightly batty place! It gave me so much strength, knowing I wasn't alone in my struggles with the evil wine witch.

I'm on Day 6 of DJ. So far so good, in fact v good when I compare Vs the horrible horrible things and feelings that a regular features of my version of normal drinking.

On Wednesday I had a real shock, thought I had made a huge cockup at work, job-threatening. I was so stressed, but because of just a couple of days of not drinking, I had some bit of perspective. If I had been hungover, I would have totally lost my mind....and the rest. The cold dread and fear, and inability to think straight and deal with stuff. It was a really good affirmation that I needed. And, turned out it was a misunderstanding. I just can't deal with the hangxiety any more.........on top of menopause 👽

Traveller, welcome. Go easy on yourself. You're here now, settle in and share anything or nothing.

Hello!
Checking in to see how you all are and how D.J is going.

Hello everyone! <waves excitedly>. Happy new year to you all. So good to hear from friends old and new. I am still getting the bus - 4 years AF and counting. I never like to express confidence and say ‘never again’ but I will say - very quietly - that being TT now mostly feels as normal as being a drinker used to. I no longer feel a bit cheated if I go out for a meal and I’m on fizzy water when others are having wine. Our area has a lovely pub which serves a very decent range of AF beers and Seedlip. Life’s been it’s usual complicated self, but it’s good to have a bus full of lovely folk to talk to.

Hello everyone, can I hop on? I'm a very long term lurker but rare poster.
I'm on the DJ thread, doing it properly for the first time ever. I'm the past I've used Jan to cut down but have decided to give it a real go this year.
It's partly driven by the usual over indulgence at Christmas and the horrible reality of the amount of. recycling I had to do. But I have some blood tests next week for something unrelated and id rather go in to those in reasonable shape. I also suffer terribly with insomnia so I want to see if laying off all alcohol helps. I've tried pretty much every other option, so am at the last resort now.
So far it's actually not been as bad as I feared. I've stuck to posh cordial and fizzy water and had one AF beer. I'm eating way too much, but am ignoring that for now

Well done smallfox what a great story. For those emarking on DJ (for the first time or the umpteenth time) don't think too far ahead. Notice all the positives - you will find they do emerge - fresher skin, sparkly eyes, better sleep, more money, time to really pay attention to others...

If questioned I ususally say "I don't really drink much these days" It seems less of a challenge to my psyche and to other people that saying that I don't drink at all.

traveller don't try to think about what a 'normal' drinker is. Use this time to find out what is possible and sustainable for YOU. I'm still pretty firmly in the camp where I'd rather have nothing at all (except delicious, icy-cold sparkling water, or a warming brew) than have a single small glass of wine like my SIL.

So lovely to see old friends and new

An octopus? An OCTOPUS?? Barrie is a squid. How very dare you mis- species him?
For the new travellers,Barrie is a pet squid who lives in a tank on the bus and travels with us. I think he came about from the idea of slapping someone round the head with a wet fish if they were calling themselves a failure for any reason. No failures on this bus,only triers.
Welcome Traveller and others. Lovely to see the Bus filling up with passengers again. No judgement here,only support and surrealism.
Where is @Mouseface I wonder? Could do with some cheese.

My sincerest apologies to Barrie the Squid, mistaken for an Octopus but actually named after a weaponised fish 😂😂😂. Did I say batty???

Hope you're all cosy and content tonight, after the most horrible type of weather like we had here. If the DJ crew have made it through the weekend, go you, it's probably the hardest one. If not, don't worry, tomorrow is a new day and you can start afresh. I managed, but God, red wine in front of the fire this evening was calling calling calling. White knuckles, gritted teeth and hot ribena kind of got me through, but really wanted to just go to bed and hide, but didn't want to do that to my precious and too-scarce family time. BTW, my free AF Lyre gin came, not doing it for me. Night night

Well, I’m shocked and horrifiedoed that anyone would dare to feel the need to eat ANYTHING without the glorious accomplishment of CHEEEEEEESE! 🐭😁🐭

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve yet to have caught up, however when there’s a cheese crisis on our lovely Gerald, things must be put on hold, and the pending doom be dealt with asap!

Now this has been achieved, I can return to my death/murder/kill book and then I’ll return at a much better hour tomorrow to update you all on all things Mouseface 💞💟💞

Night night all xxx

mouse good to see your wee furry face again. Morning to all travellers. Where should we go today?
Any chance of someone putting the kettle on?

Somewhere hot please! Sick of being chilled to the bone 🥶

Oh yes, somewhere warm and sunny where I can walk barefoot on the sand and dabble my toes in the sea...

Wouldn't that be fine? Even for a day trip.

@cashmerecardigans how's you sleep this week? I'm tired. I think it's Dry Jan related. Anyone else noticed this? For the first few days, my sleep was broken, which is my normal. Now I'm sleeping for longer stretches, managed 4 hrs last night, and much much deeper. So far so good, but I'm exhausted. I guess it's all catching up and filling up the sleep bank.

Need a lie down after typing this. Keep on keeping on, lovelies x

@Emnet23 thanks for asking. Still doing ok on the sleep front. I find I take longer to get to sleep, but then stay asleep, which is a total revelation after years of middle of the night waking and not being able to get back to sleep.
If the improvement is due to lack of alcohol, I will have to seriously consider what I do next, as opposed to sliding back into old habits once January ends

Had a blip yesterday but back on it again today. Dry 11 days out of 12 so far

Hey there babes, everyone ok out there? It's gone quiet over here, hope that means everyone is ok. I'm still AF, had lots of challenges this week and finding it hard. Had a pub lunch today with good friends, and was such a different experience without booze. I guess I'll be happy tomorrow when I don't have crippling anxiety and dread. I know for a fact I would have carried on when I got home. That would probably have lead to me having an argument. So, dodged a bullet I guess. But I still feel deprived???

What a strong hold it has on my psyche......

I bet you're glad this morning though Emnet no hangover, no regret, no need for apologies...

Hi,I'm still lurking. Only one day had a drink this month so pretty pleased with that. 15 days out of 16.

How is everyone doing? Hope you’re all ok. I’ve managed 24 dry days in January so far - so clearly a ‘fail’ in a sense,but then again it’s 24 more than I would normally have in any given month. On the down side I had dinner with friends last night, knew I was going to drink but ended up staggeringly, embarrassingly drunk. Again.

This might be time for me to finally accept that I am never going to successfully moderate. I have at least come to enjoy the pleasures of a nice cup of herbal and some chocolate in the evening.

(By the way I was on this thread earlier but have name changed as I realised I
might have inadvertently identified myself.)

Congrats on 24 days, @Plodder23

All quiet over here! Saw my first snowdrops of the year today, which was lovely.

Glad someone mentioned menopause. Peri is killing me! Amongst a ton of other things it's been nearly a year now of sleeping between 3 and 5 hours a night for the majority of nights, occasionally none, occasionally a bit more. That combined with demanding job and demanding teenager and palpitations, hot flushes, brain fog, aches and pains, bladder issues, anxiety, frequent UTIs etc etc etc (all bar the sleep have been going on for at least 5 years now and gradually getting worse) has broken me. I've finally cracked and gotten signed off for a while and running the gauntlet trying to get appointments and referrals via overloaded triage system. Some improvement in sweats and aches and pains and bladder from changing form of hrt and increasing oestrogen but no impact on the rest and still can't sleep. I wake up with my heart pounding away at 110bpm.

Big moan there sorry!

I'm on the old attempting 'moderation' path at the minute. I've been drinking again for just over 4 years now (was quite shocked it was that long when I worked it out as I had it in my head it was only a couple of years) after 2.5years AF. I drink most days, but not heavily, except when I make myself take a few days break. Last time was 7 days before Christmas because I could feel it was getting 'messy' mostly due to being very down and anxious and I wanted to sort myself out before dealing with family occasions and the like.

Mostly just trying to avoid beer and wine (it's very 'once you pop you can't stop' for me) and drink very long drinks eg. small amount of gin and lots of tonic. Tonic is blumming expensive these days though so I've ordered a load of sparkling water and will adjust my tastes to that in a pint glass with a little gin and some lemon.

Last few years have been bonkers and currently dealing with a year 11 still not registering how close GCSEs are or how rubbish his mock results were in many subjects so having to turn into study nazi mum who only allows playstation at weekends and will insist on something being done and take whatever is thrown at me (not literally!) until he accepts it and complies and calms down and returns to his still loveable, funny, good company self. All of this makes me know now is not the time to attempt anything more than moderation and breaks if/when levels are going up or emotional response to alcohol has gone weird itms.

Big waves to demented - good to see you. Is Fairenough/fairenuff? (can't remember spelling) still around?

Welcome aboard to newcomers.

Big waves back atcha Swaf.
25 days done in January. Now the real challenge begins in keeping it going

Oh well done! 25 days is a really nice break for your body and mind. How are you feeling?

I have drunk everyday since my first and only post.
I'm so ill, I've had constant diarrhoea and I have an anxious knot in my chest and stomach.
The need to drink to get rid of this awful feeling is high but I need to ride it out.
I will not drink tonight.