Strange Facebook requests - somethings up with DP

[Namechange989]

Had to name change as this is very outing and don’t want it linked.

DP and I have been together 3.5 years. We have DS (1) together.

There’s no major drama in our relationship. Now or ever. We’ve had some rocky times particularly when DS was tiny, but normal sleep deprived, new parents stuff and nothing else.

We’re currently buying a house together. Due to exchange in the next few days.

A long while ago (before I was even pregnant) we were on holiday when I got a friend request from one of his short term ex girlfriends on Instagram. I found this odd and asked him why she would do that and he said he had no idea and that maybe she was just trying to be nosey as my account is private. I was a bit suspicious but there was absolutely no other reason to think anything untoward was going on so I ignored the friend request and forgot about it.

Anyway this morning, his last long term girlfriends mum has added me on Facebook. Totally bizarre.
The odd thing is DP and I work for the same company, and so does this ex - we have actually worked together and have lots of mutual friends. There’s no bad blood between us and they were over a long time before DP and I got together. They split before I worked there and he had other medium term relationships in between them.

I’m really confused and I’m adding them together and thinking this is odd now. I’m overthinking like mad.

Thoughts welcome? Strange or am I being crazy?

From what you’ve said I think it would be a real leap to say he was cheating. Most likely just some Christmas reminiscing and fb stalking and accidentally (or brazenly!) adding you.

I think they are just being nosey. It sounds like something my mum would do (and has done something similar in the past ).

On FB, you could have come up as 'soneone you might know'? It's easy to accidentally slip on the wrong thing if you're scrolling on a phone. The other could well be nosiness or also an accident from SM stalking!

Sounds like she clicked on a friend suggestion. Just ignore it. That's what I do with friend requests I don't want to accept.

Oh and recently on my FB when I click into my notifications after a second or two people you may know pop up in my notifications like a glitch. It's hard to explain but I can go to click on a notication and then all of a sudden it disappears and people I may know pop up (a bit like when Mumsnet glitches and the screen jumps when you click on a thread and takes you to the wrong one). I've nearly accidentally requested people doing this a few times its very annoying.

I think the fundamental issue here is you don’t trust him and think he might have cheated. It’s hard for us to say if this is due to your insecurity and paranoia, or if he has given you reason.

For me, his ex adding you to Instagram three years ago and an ex’s mother, an ex you’re friendly with, adding you now, are totally unrelated and quite frankly irrelevant. I’d think nothing of it. But you think there is much more to it and they want to tell you he’s cheating. That’s a huge red flag. It’s a whole row of bunting. But what no one can guess is whether the red flag is yours or his.

I’ve explained I’ve been burnt by that situation is a previous relationship and that’s why I’ve jumped to that conclusion, not because of DP.

I found out my ex was cheating because a completely unknown work colleague of his contacted me on SM and told me he was seeing someone in his office. Told me he told her we’d broken up but it was evident on SM we hadn’t.

I checked his phone and found evidence. But I probably would never have found out.

Obviously I took images of the evidence and confronted him. He denied it. I didn’t even bother telling him I’d taken pictures and read the messages. He left for work and I just packed my things and left.

Guess it’s clouded my judgement here.

Head wobbled.

This sounds like someone bored and having a snoop. His ex would probably be mortified that her mum is looking up her ex bfs and even more so that she'd accidentally sent a friend request.

I know someone who snoops on fb , loves a nose. Looks at her friends friends that she doesn't even know. Looks up people she knows family etc. It's being bored and lonely. Something to do. Not my cup of tea. Used to come into work and say things like your D needs to secure her fb as it's open , I could get onto it. To people she works with like she was being helpful not nosey.

It's hard to get your head round when you're not a nosey person yourself.