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Original poster

AIBU to be delighted at this?

100 replies

Overland · 02/01/2021 14:58

Didn't want to post in AIBU as I don't feel this warrants the traffic.

My ex has downgraded! After treating me appallingly for quite some time and giving him chance after chance to step up, I finally backed out.

It now seems he has quickly found himself a rebound. Someone who seems utterly desperate, not at all his type and is obviously fully unaware of his bullshit. I won't say anything further as it could be outing.

He's since been sniffing around because, I suspect, he's missing what he had with me and realises replacing me isn't as easy as he thought.

Hasta la Vista, arsehole! Grin

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 02/01/2021 15:02

Oh is he a cocklodger who can't possibly live on his own as that would mean paying for rent and doing his own washing. You're well rid.

category12 · 02/01/2021 15:09

Yes you are unreasonable because what you're saying about his new girlfriend is horrible. Hmm It's not her fault and it's pretty unpleasant to look down on her.

If you sympathised with her for hooking a shitehound that would be different, but this is quite woman-hating.

Blulights · 02/01/2021 15:10

They're probably very happy together

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 02/01/2021 15:11

Well, it clearly hasn't dented your self confidence.

Candyfloss99 · 02/01/2021 15:11

Sounds like you still need to get over him.

gypsywater · 02/01/2021 15:12

Urgh what a horrible attitude to have towards his new gf. Talk about narcissistic.

Sparklfairy · 02/01/2021 15:12

@category12

Yes you are unreasonable because what you're saying about his new girlfriend is horrible. Hmm It's not her fault and it's pretty unpleasant to look down on her.

If you sympathised with her for hooking a shitehound that would be different, but this is quite woman-hating.

Agree. My ex is now love bombing a new woman. She is everything he hates, has a young child (normally a big no for him) and has clearly built an independent life for herself.

I feel nothing but sorry and worried for her and her child and hope he doesn't slowly break her Sad

SallyTimms · 02/01/2021 15:12

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants
Grin

Original poster
Overland · 02/01/2021 15:15

@Bananalanacake 100% a cocklodger. He's not after a meaningful relationship with anyone because he is too self absorbed and too selfish to put in the effort, in every sense of the word.

OP posts:
GreenlandTheMovie · 02/01/2021 15:15

The same happened to me. I was torn between feeling elated that I hadn't been dumped for someone more attractive/accomplished and disgusted at how low his bar was. The latter feeling was winning out. Lets say at least I would have found it easier to understand if his head had been turned by someone who shared his hobby and was very beautiful/exotic.

Mutual friends somewhat gleefully kept me filled in, helpfully too, she posted a lot about it on sm. During this period, he contacted me by text to tell me how good our relationship had been.

It got worse, they split up, briefly got back together, she got pregnant and had an abortion. So he's dumped two women in the space of 6 months, got 1 pregnant, broke lockdown rules repeatedly, spent Christmas on his own and I wouldn't go near him with a very long bargepole now. Very off-putting.

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 02/01/2021 15:17

I think you need to work on your unpleasant attitude towards other women op!
What an unkind way of describing her Hmm

Nymeriastark1 · 02/01/2021 15:18

You don't know her, you know what she looks like but her personality. I would say most people's are an upgrade from yours.

DeadSouth · 02/01/2021 15:28

I think this is an awful way of looking at it. You were badly treated by him so you compensating looking down on his new girlfriend rather than feeling sorry for the experiences he may put her through.

Diverseduvet · 02/01/2021 15:31

You sound quite unpleasant to say hes 'downgraded'.

Original poster
Overland · 02/01/2021 15:33

Actually, I do feel empathy for his new gf. Nowher have I said that I think she's a terrible person. If he was happy, he wouldn't be trying to reignite anything with me, would he?

In reply to the comment about narcissism: this is what I have been subjected to by ex. He doesn't care who he hurts.

OP posts:
notinthiseconomy · 02/01/2021 15:34

I suspect she's an upgrade in terms of personality.

Original poster
Overland · 02/01/2021 15:39

Let me reiterate: I do feel sorry for his new gf. He will hurt her. He already is. My first thought when he came sniffing around was "What a bastard, this new women is totally unaware of what you're capable of and what you are up to". And also thought about how I would feel if I had that done to me.

OP posts:
Janaih · 02/01/2021 15:44

Your use of the word downgraded is rather distasteful.
I know its tempting to focus on him but please try and move on in a positive way.

StephenBelafonte · 02/01/2021 15:44

. And also thought about how I would feel if I had that done to me.

He probably did.

Original poster
Overland · 02/01/2021 15:44

@notinthiseconomy In which way? You have no idea what he subjected me to, what he is ALREADY subjecting his new gf too. I do feel sorry for her. But not sorry to say she is desperate and that that alone is a downgrade.

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 02/01/2021 15:45

You are hurt op but it's not this woman's fault. I am sure he was nice to you at the start?

Best thing you can do is move on and live your own life without making hurtful, unnecessary comparisons. It only makes you look bad.

StephenBelafonte · 02/01/2021 15:45

OP in all seriousness, can I ask why you say that his new girlfriend seems utterly desparate? What makes you think that?

Ahhpregnant · 02/01/2021 15:46

She’s desperate for getting into a relationship with someone she likes? Oh you seem lovely.

diddl · 02/01/2021 15:46

Were you not once seemingly utterly deperate & unaware of his BS then?

He treated you appallingly yet you still gave him chance after chance?

Pot, kettle?

Windmillwhirl · 02/01/2021 15:46

You are acting desperate yourself here, op. They'd probably think you desperate and bitter themselves

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