@NC1769456
Woke up this morning to a FB message from him (I had blocked him on WhatsApp and removed him as a friend on FB and even deactivated my FB account) literally just saying "Please don't end us. I need you so bad. Please can we try and get through this." And spent half hour crying.
I then read the link @Thelnebriati posted which was beautifully timed. I haven't replied to his message as yet as I still want to be supportive and I have to keep kicking myself when I think "oh but maybe I can just be his friend and help him".
I've purchased the other book thank you @milkysmum.
And thanks @Whydidimarryhim I will go back through this post later today and make a note of everything so it's a little less overwhelming.
Just need to stop crying now!
Ugh. That's a textbook self pitying, pathetic, please be my Mummy drunk.
Don't respond. Just block - it avoids you having to go through the fake 'saying goodbye, there's nothing left for me in this world now you don't love me' messages as well.
You have a safe, warm, clean house, you have an income with which to pay the bills - you were a target, a mark to draw in, make comfortable and then completely take the piss out of for the next twenty years. Bet it wouldn't be long before he was saying about how awful/cold/damp/expensive his flat is or that the landlord is talking about selling up with the intention that you would offer for him to move in with you for free.
Any attempt to be 'his friend and help him' will be seen by him as a weakness to be exploited. And the fact that you've ended it would become weaponised against you should you be persuaded that he really isn't drinking anymore/is trying sooo hard/can't do it without you - eventually, you'd get 'Well, you dumped me. You make me so insecure. You are probably cheating on me all the time. You broke MY HEART' - when you aren't getting the usual 'Oh, I'm just tired, I've got a headache [falls over his own feet because he's so pissed]'.
He knows that angry, aggressive drunk wouldn't work with you because you'd have seen through it. So he removes your agency by making you feel helpless because he's not being violent. You put up with far worse from your ex, so 'how can you put me in the same category as him, when he did.....?' [sob, sob, wail, howl]. Most likely he'll shrink away from you if you move your hand a bit quickly, ostentatiously jump if you drop something, all to make you feel that this poor defenceless ickle boy was probably violently abused by his ex and you're scaring the poor love with your actions. He's trying to insidiously cast you as the aggressor and himself as the poor victim.
Save yourself for a change. Block him. Ignore and block him again if he finds another way to contact you. Change your locks if he's ever had access to your keys. You can avoid wasting your time and emotions on somebody whose one true love is actually alcohol, not you, their children or their ex.
Cry for being lied to. But don't be his friend. He doesn't want a friend. He wants everything he can take from you, preferably from getting you to think that you are offering it freely, as there's less effort involved that way for him.
Block, block, block.