Accused of trying to steal friends husband

[accusedandalone]

Bear with me because this may be long.

I lost my husband in an accident very suddenly and unexpectedly about 10 days before the 1st lockdown. Our second DD was born about a month before and we have a toddler DD too, so I had a lot to deal with and it's been a shitty year. We also have DN10 who lives with us and has done for 5 years.

DH and I were friends with a couple. I was friends with Linda at Uni and he was friends with Jack. When we met at University we introduced them to each other. DH and Jack had a bust up a year or so after we began dating over his treatment of me (lots of pervy comments and occasionally aggressive when drunk). He decided to drop him as a friend because of it, but 6 weeks later Jack showed up with Linda and they have been together ever since. I've always had a strange feeling around him, but Linda has been a fantastic friend and I feel sorry for her being married to him. DH and I moved to a small London suburb where I grew up about 7 years ago when we got married, 6 months later they moved to a few roads away as they liked the area so much and I introduced Linda to my friends etc etc.

I found out 2 years ago from Linda that Jack was having an affair with the much younger sister of one of my friends. I was supportive to Linda and she decided to work things out with him.

When DH died Linda was there everyday and it was great. But I started to feel smothered and I just wanted some time to absorb everything with my family and get used to the differences. I decided to take all 3 children to our holiday home in France for 6 weeks during the summer holidays and it was amazing. Just what we needed to be able to breathe again. My DPs and DPil came out to stay for a couple of weeks too. But Linda kept pushing to come and see us and stay for a couple of weeks with her children and Jack. Tbh it was worded like she was worried about me, but the incessant badgering just felt like she actually just wanted a free holiday. I said no (very firmly) after weeks of it and she sent me a long message about friendship and gratitude.

Here is the problem. I have barely heard from Jack since March. But last month I joined them with all the children to see an outdoor christmas lights attraction. Linda dropped out at the last minute as she had to work late. Jack made some really inappropriate comments during the outing (as usual) and asked when I would be looking for someone knew. At this I told him he was disgusting and left. He then sent me an explicit text a week later. I told him he was disgusting and (here is where I may have made the mistake) I sent a screenshot of the message and a summary of his behaviour to Linda.

Linda has decided that I want to steal her disgusting husband and sent me some vile messages. She has also told all of my friends that I'm on the look out for a new man and that they should keep an eye on their husbands. I've since had messages from 3 of my friends berating me and I've been removed from all my friendship whatsapp groups and blocked by at least 4 other friends. I'm so confused because he's made passes at a few of these women before and it's very well known that neither DH nor I liked him.

I've never felt so alone. What do I do?

Well done on your handling of this from start to finish. I hope Linda feels a fool, but she sounds like an idiot who stands by a sleazy, horrible husband despite being well aware of what he is like. You’ve got to feel a bit sorry for her. What a pathetic life she has. I hope the person who found your thread on here and apologised feels pretty foolish too. Hold your head up OP and keep plodding on.

I do do do hope that Linda has been shown this thread!

My message to Linda and her hangers on...

Dear Linda, the OP has more dignity in her little finger than you and your cronies put together.

You purposely besmirched the good name of OP and her darling husband because your husband is a dick and you know it!

Karma will come for you Linda and when it does think about what you've done and why karma is biting your arse and know that the OP will be watching and quietly laughing"

Gees you've had a terrible time this year, OP. I cannot ever imagine treating a friend who is heartbroken and having to raise children on her own, like this. In fact, I cannot even imagine treating a stranger or an enemy even, like this. That is far too cruel comprehend, even for an enemy!

Take comfort that this parasite Linda has to lay her head down on the pillow at night, beside a man that she knows damn well is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, woman-abusing, lecherous maggot. That's what he is, a maggot. And she's a parasite, so they are perfect for each other! But imagine what the thoughts are in her head in that quiet moment when she alone with her thoughts in bed, and she knows she is in a loveless marriage with a dirty old pervert who she knows isn't loyal, and she knows deep down in her heart and her head that she has to make up a vicious lie and throw an innocent woman who has been through so much already under the bus, just to protect her 'image'. Imagine having such low self-esteem that you have to do all that, just to justify the fantasy world you've built up around you, as she has.
When she knew and could see that you, as opposed to her, had what she never had and never will have; a happy and secure marriage. Imagine being that miserable in your marriage that you have to inflict that pain on an innocent and vulnerable human being - you.

The inner torture Linda must be going through must be horrific, so she attacks the one who had the most secure and genuinely happy marriage - you. She didn't attack the others - probably because, as we can see by their reactions, the other 'friends' in the group are as insecure as her, so it clearly says that the other 'friends' have unhappy marriages and are insecure. She chose to use you as a scapegoat for her joke of a marriage, because you, were the only one in the group who actually had a happy and secure marriage. It's jealousy. Jealousy from Linda, and jealousy from the 'friends' who clearly have insecure shit marriages as well to think you'd want their husbands.

Linda is the true pathetic sad loser here. Her marriage is a joke, a sham, she is miserable so is desperate, absolutely and utterly desperate to make you and others miserable too. At least you can sleep soundly at night. She knows her dirty grub of a pervert husband doesn't love her; she is miserable, angry, frustrated and resents her life, and you represent everything to her that she wishes she had; true love. True happiness. A decent man, not a dirty old pervert. She is a miserable, angry, spiteful and frustrated pitiful loser, and her thoughts that haunt her before she drifts off to sleep are the result and eternal pain of her own miserable life. She is one miserable and frustrated little excuse for a human being. Those thoughts that haunt her are in a way, her own punishment and her own version of hell. And long may those thoughts haunt her, keep her awake at night and make her miserable because it's what she deserves.

OP you've had a terrible time this year and these friends (not friends) are despicable- I hope they get their comeuppance - especially Linda! Glad you've got family and other, decent friends around you

OP just wishing you and your family the very best for the New Year... 🎉