I have a foster brother who has been in my life since I was born. To me, he IS my brother, we might as well be blood relatives. He has a lot of struggles in his life, as do I (although different struggles), stemming from neglect we faced as children. He has some criminal history having to do with drug possession charges. In spite of what he’s faced, I love him and I believe in him. He’s always tried to be there for me.
My husband cannot stand my having anything to do with my brother. He’s never met him, never spoken to him. If he so much as sees us messaging each other he either gets in a foul mood and grows quiet or goes into a rage. It isn’t uncommon for my brother to write me saying, “I love you, sis,” and of course I respond to tell him that I love him. My husband has screamed about how he sees that as inappropriate. He even accused me of sleeping with him before. This makes me sick. I’ve tried to explain how I feel to him, but he’s threatened that if I’m going to continue talking to my brother then he’s going to get in touch with one of his ex girlfriends. This drives me crazy. I don’t understand how he’s gotten this idea, that it makes any sense?
Is this controlling/abusive behavior? He doesn’t seem to be okay with me talking to anyone I know anymore. It hurts to feel as if I can’t pick up the phone when my brother calls. He’s tried to spin this in many ways, claiming he’s trying to protect me.