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Original poster

Would you date/marry a man without higher education?

412 replies

bunny85 · 17/12/2020 22:42

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

OP posts:
robindream · 17/12/2020 23:58

Higher education doesn't equate to intelligence or success in life - DH dropped out of college and started his own business that he still owns today, thats bought our family home and everything inside, given us family holidays and provided for us all.

Your highly educated friends shouldn't speak for "most women" because actually most women aren't that shallow Smile

RandomUsernameHere · 17/12/2020 23:59

Of course. I often find there is little correlation between level of education and intelligence. I don't think most would care, however many people meet their partner at university or work, so it's more likely they end up with someone with a similar level of education without necessarily meaning to.

Icanflyhigh · 17/12/2020 23:59

Yes.

crosshatching · 18/12/2020 00:05

The thing is our education system seems to let so many people down, particularly boys and men that it seems really unfair to write people off for not achieving in the narrow window society allocates them.
Added to that there are many different types of intelligence, academic life doesn't assess or even touch on them all.

GreenlandTheMovie · 18/12/2020 00:07

AlternativePerspective But I suspect that if you’re shallow enough to consider a lack of higher education a deal breaker then you probably are just shallow anyway and no man would ever meet your exacting standards.

The juxtaposition between posters talking about how rich their non-university educated spouses are, and the concept that it is shallow to consider university important. How far does that restriction on personal choice of partner extend? Appearance? Age? Height? Are we allowed to make any choices at all beyond personality without being called shallow?

Different things are important to different people. I find obsessing over money very shallow.

KnitsAndGiggles · 18/12/2020 00:15

My OH has a degree but I don't hold that against him. I'm the thicko in our relationship obviously - I couldn't decide what I wanted to do so thought uni would be a waste of time. I left school after A levels, got a job, worked hard, saved up and bought a house and now run my own business. I used to work alongside someone with a degree, doing the same job, earning more money than them. Degree meant nothing.

Following the crowd to uni and saddling yourself with student debt is only sensible if you're going to use your degree. Oh and to the PP who said "yes as long as they went on to complete their education" - I certainly consider my education finished and have absolutely no desire for more formal education. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not for everyone.

LopsidedWombat · 18/12/2020 00:37

Level of education has never entered my head when it comes to relationships. Struggling to think of a reason why it would tbh!

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 18/12/2020 00:38

I'd rather not.

SionnachRua · 18/12/2020 00:40

I'm not a fucking snob, so yes. Plenty of arseholes out there with fancy bits of paper and good people who followed a different path in life.

saraclara · 18/12/2020 00:41

I love the assumption that all MNers have a degree.

I wonder how those without one are feeling after reading this OP.

MrsApplepants · 18/12/2020 00:48

Yes because I wanted him to share similar life experiences and background to me. The actual qualifications weren’t that important. If that makes me shallow, I don’t really care, as we’ve been happily married for 16 years.

MintyCedric · 18/12/2020 00:50

It's an interesting question.

My XH didn't get great O- levels and did a practical qualification after school. I think he was bright enough to have done better but not that interested and definitely not encouraged. Tbh I think it did make a difference (I'm educated to post-grad level).

Having said that, my dad left school at 14 with barely a CSE to his name and we got on like a house on fire and could talk for hours about all sorts.

I think the difference is that he was very open minded and interested in people and the world, XH not so much.

I think that is what makes the difference, rather than qualifications of paper.

M0rT · 18/12/2020 00:50

Of all the deal breaker questions I listened closely to the answers of when dating level of education wasn't even on the list!
What happened to the old traditionals of how far away they lived, music taste, drug taking? Grin

eaglejulesk · 18/12/2020 00:55

What a stupid question! WTF does it matter if the person you date/marry has had higher education or not? Anyone who thinks it matters has a lot to learn about the world. There are many qualities which are far more important than that.

MLMsuperfan · 18/12/2020 00:59

I would only date a PhD.

Heartofglass12345 · 18/12/2020 01:08

Of course. My ex (who I would've married if he had wanted to) had no a levels and hardly any GCSEs as far as I can remember. He was intelligent enough but struggled in school due to dyslexia.
He's been working in the same job for over 10 years and is now kitchen manager. Why does it make any difference?

POP7777777 · 18/12/2020 01:08

I wouldn't date the type of person who asked this question.

Original poster
bunny85 · 18/12/2020 01:10

@Greenlandthemovie
The juxtaposition between posters talking about how rich their non-university educated spouses are, and the concept that it is shallow to consider university important. How far does that restriction on personal choice of partner extend? Appearance? Age? Height? Are we allowed to make any choices at all beyond personality without being called shallow?

My thoughts exactly.

OP posts:
InTheShadowOfTheMushroomCloud · 18/12/2020 01:13

Post grad level education for me, two o levels for DH

He drives the biggest lorries legally allowed on uk roads. I lecture in universities. I couldn't do his job at all.

Does it bother me? Nope - I know he is very proud of me and tells his mates about what I do ...

SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/12/2020 01:25

I’ve been with people who left school at 16 and people who went to Uni. It doesn’t really figure tbh, I was more interested in sense of humour, values, character, taste in music etc when I was looking for a partner. My DH left school at 16 and so did I. We ain’t that thick Grin

PigletJohn · 18/12/2020 01:55

@POP7777777

I wouldn't date the type of person who asked this question.
Very good point.
Neenan · 18/12/2020 03:45

Yes I did, his Christmas bonus this year was £85k. Doesn’t have any GCSEs either.

Remind me what it us about a university education that is superior in a partner?

Neenan · 18/12/2020 03:48

And he was a van driver when I met him BTW.

londonscalling · 18/12/2020 03:50

I find this a really offensive question! Not having higher education does not make you less intelligent.

I didn't go on to higher education as I wanted to start work. We've done really quite well for ourselves thank you!

Figgyboa · 18/12/2020 03:51

Yes! My OH is intelligent and articulate, his passion in life didn't require further education. He's a private chef

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