Would you date/marry a man without higher education?

[bunny85]

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

It wouldn't be a deal breaker if he was intelligent and successful. Saying that, my husband and all serious boyfriends before I met him are degree educated.

Yes, my partner has only finished GCSE and is now eventually pursuing higher education, he has dyslexia and had health issues at school which meant he missed a substantial amount of school. My dad also finished school with limited qualifications and now in his forties is pursuing a foundation degree and is honestly a well rounded and intelligent man. Although myself and my mum worked really hard for our degrees and that should be discredited, everyone's journey is different and it doesn't mean they cannot succeed in a career or work in fairly well paid jobs for their area, that they enjoy or give them valuable experience towards further education. I took a gap year in my degree and an additional foundation year which were the best things to broaden my experience etc. People have to remember until fairly recently there wasn't options for those with learning difficulties to be supported towards higher education.

shouldn't be discredited*

Yes, I married one at the young age of 22 and still happily married. I'm much more academically better qualified, enjoy using my brain but he's never even read a book im the 40 years I've known him, get just not interested. He is interested in the world, has more common sense than me & has always been the higher earner due to his practical skills. He has a good work ethic and has been a brilliant dad too.
He's very practical, fixes things, very good at DIY, an old fashioned man's man. Not having these qualities and not knowing one end of a screw driver from the other would be a no no from me!

Hilarious! I know plenty of people with degrees who have little conversational ability, seem to know nothing about anything, are very unworldly and are, in the round, "uneducated". It would not even be on my radar to enquire whether a date had a degree or not: if they are interesting, intellectually curious and intelligent that would be enough.

If I liked him then yes, of course. Why on earth would you judge a potential partner by their qualifications? If you get on like a house on fire, have a great time together, and he makes you really happy, would you really pass that up for someone who got a mediocre degree in cat studies or something? (Though to be fair, I would also happily date someone with a mediocre degree in cat studies)

I have a master's, my DH when I met him barely had any GCSEs. We met when I was studying for the masters. He had gone down a vocational route.
He now earns nearly triple what I do and his job is putting him through a master's with no previous study. He's dyslexic and hated school with a passion.
So long as someone has a bit about them, academic achievements really mean very little. I always set huge store by them but my DH has proven me wrong over and over again.

Wtf op?!

I don't t have a degree. My husband does.
Oh my god I'm so lucky to have been picked from the shelf !

Education has been a major focus of my life and as such becoming better educated is a significant part of my values system.

I would think we didn’t value the same things if we didn’t share a commitment to education.

Earning is not the issue; I have supported myself for 25 years and will continue to do so.

Of course. I mean I wouldn't date or marry someone that had never worked and sat at hone all day on a PlayStation but plenty people don't go to university and go on to be very successful in trades from apprenticeships or have great careers/own businesses that they work up to and petty people who go to university but end up unemployed or working in non wage jobs so simply going to college or uni is an odd stipulation. It doesn't mean much on its own.

Of course. There's lots of intelligent men without a degree. Just as there are lots with 2nd or 3rd class degrees or degrees in subjects like Sports Science.

Education has been a major focus of my life and as such becoming better educated is a significant part of my values system.

I would think we didn’t value the same things if we didn’t share a commitment to education.

You don't have to go to university to be educated

Can I ask if posters think you should go out with anyone that asks you? ie "give them a chance"? Because I'm pretty sure that men don't do that, so why should women?

I'm single and I've currently got a man chasing me. He has no degree and while he has some good points, I know we just aren't compatible as we are too far apart in our behaviours and interests. Therefore, I don't fancy him. It would feel like dating down.

Same with those mis-spelling no hopers on Internet dating sites who can barely hold a conversation (before I gave it up).

I want someone who will understand what I'm talking about when I discuss the Roman influence in Britain, or how I'm concerned about the potential erosion of human rights after Brexit, or just to joke about how dire halls were in first year, but none of us realised it. I dont want someone who thinks you use apostrophies to make plurals in English, or who votes the way his father voted because he's never thought about it. That would drive me mad and I'd rather stay single til I meet the right person.

I also really cannot stand individuals who boast about how much they earn or how much they sold their business for. I prefer people who are secure enough in their career/life that a certain level of success goes without saying. Boasting about money and belittling education is just awful to read.

I don't think it mattered much 20, 30, 40 years ago but I believe it matters now.

Some jobs require a degree.They won't look at your cv without one. Of course that doesn't apply if you have family or good connections there. Many immigration schemes require a degree.

Sure there are some people who have done well without one, but I imagine there are far more who get stuck in very low paying jobs.

I'm single and I've currently got a man chasing me. He has no degree and while he has some good points, I know we just aren't compatible as we are too far apart in our behaviours and interests. Therefore, I don't fancy him. It would feel like dating down.

Well if you aren't compatible you aren't compatible. I don't having a college certificate or degree in a random subject would change that. Of course you shouldn't date anyone who asks. No one said that. But you can get lazy, boring people with degrees and motivated, intelligent, self learned hard workers who left school at 16 to pursue other avenues/ways of training or learning.

@CountFosco

Honestly? No. It would indicate too wide a disparity between our backgrounds and the value we place on education and would suggest we'd have very little in common (in fact, since I left school I've met very few people who don't have degrees, we just don't mix in the same circles). That's not to say someone who doesn't have a degree can't be intelligent and a valuable member of society. And there are many people with degrees I'd not date either.

This, pretty much.

My DH only has GCSEs. He left school on the Friday and started work on the Monday and has never looked back. No, he hasn't set the world on fire career-wise, but that means diddly squat because he's hardworking, dedicated and believes in happiness for our kids, whether they choose to be bricklayers or brain surgeons.

midnightstar66 but I've never felt compatible with a man without a degree. What I have noticed though is that men without degrees are unusually persistent in chasing me when I'm patently not interested. They seem less able to read the signs. Or perhaps they mistake polite disinterest for something else in a way that more educated men don't. But it's definately a thing.

I'd also be fairly unlikely to date a man with a sports science or film and media or similar degree. I work in one of the orifessions and its also definately a thing that we stick together. I'm much happier with doctors, lawyers and dentists than wth someone boasting about how much money they have.

Not saying you don't get lawyers, doctors and dentists who do that, but there's a certain level of quiet assured confidence that I feel at home with. I'd be really embarrassed if I introduced someone to my friends and they started talking about money to prove how lack of education didn't hold them back.

Yes of course! DH left school at 16, I have a first class degree. He makes me laugh, is kind, great dad and SAHP, has lots of interests and has an incredible memory-he completely puts me to shame with general knowledge, quizzes etc. He still gives me butterflies. We have some very different interests-for example, I love poetry and literature, he is interested in astronomy and science, but we share a similar sense of humour and values. I dont care he will probably never earn 6 figures, neither will I. We have been together 17 years and couldn't imagine a better person to share a life with.

Yes absolutely DH is definitely my intellectual equal. He grew up in a very different decade to me, went to a school that was closing down ( with little aspiration for the kids), had no parental support and was kicked out at 16. The opportunity just wasn't there for him.

I think it depends on the attitude of your partner to education, DH is sometimes quite sad that he didn't get to go further, but uses the internet to teach himself - taught himself to play the mandolin and now French ( daily for the past 2 years) and is politically aware.

Yes, of course, and married one. I have three degrees. It's not even relevant.

Yep, and I married him.

He is so much more than a qualification. He is clever, thoughtful, charming, hard working, at the top of his game career wise, a great father, fun, funny, puts up with my shite. None of that can be judged by his academic qualifications. So I don't see a correlation at all.

That said, we met when we were young. If I was my age now and dating, I get that you have to have some way of weeding out people. But maybe this isn't the one criteria to use.

You sound a bit immature from later posts. People without degrees can be very senior in some professions. What about professional qualifications? As to the weird generalisation about men without degrees...maybe you're just making too many assumptions that stop you clicking.

Yes, for sure. If someone is nice and I love them, their level of education wouldn’t bother me. I was very lucky with the opportunities I got to study, I don’t feel it makes me any more interesting to be honest.