Would you date/marry a man without higher education?

[bunny85]

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

My Fiance doesn't have a degree and I do although I was late 30s when I got it. He is a very intelligent man and can play an instrument and read music to a high standard. He can discuss a wide variety of topics and is technically minded. His job does not require a degree but does require intelligence, problem solving skills, quick thinking etc and he gets paid well. If I had rejected him on whether he had a degree I would have missed out on a loving, caring, kind, considerate, supportive, understanding, respectful, generous, funny and awesome man.

What a strange question.

Although I know someone who was dating a minor celeb/TV star, no doubt a high earner and very good looking, nice bloke. Her mum was horrified because he didn't have a degree 😂

How snobby!

Absolutely yes. I've got a degree, and have often thought if I ever found myself on a dating site, I'd probably look for someone academic and maybe slightly nerdy like me. But then. . . Someone I know who left school with almost no qualifications, got into trouble a bit when he was younger, used to work as a litter picker and now a gardener, but is lovely to talk to, has amazing practical skills, is a kind man and a great dad. I'd marry him tomorrow.

My DH owns a successful business, earns 6 figures and left college at 19. I can’t wait to tell him he knows nothing of world issues and can’t hold an intelligent conversation.
Shit, now I come to think of it, it’s always me that writes Christmas & birthday cards for family... he’s illiterate isn’t he 😭

What makes me very sad is that my disabled son will probably not get any qualifications and I know already how he will be looked down on his entire life. It’s truly heartbreaking. It really makes me so grateful that, should he want too and be able too, he will always have a job with DH so will hopefully not experience negativity towards his lack of qualifications.

My dad left school at 15 with one GCSE (or whatever it was called).

He's one of the smartest people I've ever met.

My DH went to the type of school in the type of area where your life would be made hell if you wore glasses. So he didn’t. Couldn’t see the board, didn’t do so well, didn’t go to uni.
He’s an above average earner and reads all kinds of books about every topic under the sun. Wearing his glasses.

Honestly?????? Don’t date him, he deserves better

@CorianderQueen

My dad left school at 15 with one GCSE (or whatever it was called).

He's one of the smartest people I've ever met.

And I have several degrees btw. Snob.

Yes.
I’m now a director of a successful company.
Couldn’t have done it without my un-educated husband.

@Lollypop701

This.

What a shallow and pretty offensive post, OP!

My partner barely finished secondary school.. why should this mean he is not worthy of our relationship?!

As well as all his other great qualities, he has an admiral work ethic and is the hardest working man I know. He is intelligent, great to talk to and is very knowledgeable in areas that most aren't.
When he resigned from his previous job, the company could not find anyone in the UK to replace him. They paid for candidates from abroad to fly to the UK, but they also couldn't do the job. The company ended up shutting down that department of the business!!

I actually find that people who start working after finishing secondary school have a hell of a lot more life experience than those that go on to college/uni. The academics may have the higher education, but no real life experience.

@bunny85

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

So where do you stand on this question OP?

My husband doesn't have a degree but has further education. He earns more than most people i socialised with who got degrees. I have a degree and I don't use it and started my own business this year so currently earn nothing.

I think there is a vast difference between educated and intelligent, my husband could complete a degree to a high standard, but he went other paths. I am highly attracted to the fact he can turn is hand at almost anything and was highly turned off my men who had no clue with regards how things worked. Perhaps because I'm useless or because my dad was readably competent. Not really sure.

If I had to tick boxes I would probably say I'd like someone with a degree or higher, but the reality is the person is far more important than they level of education.

I wouldn't think we would have much in common.

I'm the first person in my family to go to uni and perhaps I have a complex. It's difficult to imagine being on the same page with someone who didn't have a similar education and world view.

Not saying it's a hard no! But I can't even think where I'd meet such a person.

Why not? My DC have married people who do not have the same level of academic education as they do - but they are kind, loyal, practical, resourceful - what's not to like as they say?

I know some right dumbasses who have managed to get degrees and I know some very smart and successful people who left school at 16/17.

Such a person .....

No, I wouldn't. I really get on better with someone from a similar background who has been through similar experiences. I don't care how much they earn as long as they work. Its to do with things such as leaving home at 18 and meeting new people. And being able to hold a conversation with people with different viewpoints.

I realise not everyone who has a degree is like this.

What a shallow and pretty offensive post, OP!

My partner barely finished secondary school.. why should this mean he is not worthy of our relationship?!

All the op did was ask a question, she did not offer her own opinion, and she never said anyone wasn't "worthy" of a relationship. Calm down.

I know many lovely people who happen to have a degree, but I also know a lot of total arses, who think having a degree makes them a better class of human being.

I chose to have children with a university drop out, but he went and got a 1st class honours after the event. He hasn't ditched me yet, even though I haven't got a degree and am unlikely to get one anytime soon.

Having a degree doesn’t automatically make someone intelligent. I took my degree seriously and did really well, but there were so many dumb people (even at prestigious unis) that can’t hold a decent debate and aren’t knowledgable about different topics. Or just don’t have common sense. I know someone who tried to put a can in the microwave (someone stopped her). Another person left a frozen chicken on the radiator.

Lots of intelligent people can’t afford to go to university.

@SendHelp30

Everyone I work with or know socially is university educated. I actually don't interact with anyone who is not highly educated (other than my parents, who are definitely intelligent, but from a generation where formal education was less important)

This seems strange to me that so many wouldn't even consider it. My husband didn't do higher education as his upbringing meant he wasn't encouraged or supported. He has a good job though, and although not academic, he is very skilled at what he does and emotionally intelligent

Ok so to those who have called me a snob, shallow, offensive...

I have a post grad degree in a very professional field, loads of qualifications, spent many years studying etc. Read a lot. I've been married for over a decade to a man who left school at 16 and never went to college or uni. He's kind, caring, very hard working, earns very well, generous, has sense of humour, amazing dad, he's just not very academic.

The reason for my question: had a chat with a friend the other day and she said most women wouldn't marry a man who wasn't well educated and her own parents wouldn't even approve it. So I asked here out of curiosity, to understand whether it's just me who's ok with it or she's wrong.

Thanks to those who replied without putting labels.