Would you date/marry a man without higher education?

[bunny85]

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

So I would tend to find someone who had not been to university lacking in openness usually

I'm a lawyer, and I tend to be happier with other professionals. I might struggle with an arts graduate. I certainly struggled with an engineering graduate

Aren’t these 2 statements at odds with one another you cannot think you are open as you have a degree but then admit to struggling with people who don’t have the right sort of degree
Surely that is choosing your own echo chamber.
Exactly what you say the self educated do

@Oliversmumsarmy

So I would tend to find someone who had not been to university lacking in openness usually

I'm a lawyer, and I tend to be happier with other professionals. I might struggle with an arts graduate. I certainly struggled with an engineering graduate

Aren’t these 2 statements at odds with one another you cannot think you are open as you have a degree but then admit to struggling with people who don’t have the right sort of degree
Surely that is choosing your own echo chamber.
Exactly what you say the self educated do

I don't honestly know Oliversmumsarmy but "openness" in the OCEAN personality traits relates to typical examples such as "I use difficult words", "I am interested in abstractions", etc. so it would appear not.

When a person is discussing relationships, theres an obvious limit on "openness" because without that it would include any experience, such as drug taking, self mutilation, non-monogamous behaviour, risque sexual behaviours and so on. Mainly its used to refer to intellectual openness ie reading, studying, etc, not dating people you aren't attracted to for personal reasons.

Dating and having sex with people you aren't attracted to for the many reasons that one person is not attracted to another would be a form of openness so vast that it would probably encompass several personality disorders.

I have to say that your argument on this reminds me of those creepy men who try to persuade you to go out with them when you have already explained that you aren't interested and who try to mansplain you into it. The answer is a rather uneducated "Fuck off".

I don't have a degree but my DP has a PHD and works in a high level role in tech. He thinks I'm much more intelligent and smarter than he is 😆. Prior to meeting me, one of his dating requirements was to meet a woman with the same level of education as he (mistakenly) thought that a person with an equal level of education would be more suitable. He dated quite a few women with postgrad degrees and came to realise he was actually being quite prejudiced. He didn't click with any of them for various reasons, but it was nothing to do with their education.

We met purely by accident and my education never came into question.....I think if it had, I would have dumped him! We just took each other on face value and didn't go through weighing up or estimating whether it was right. We just clicked.

Plus there are many people with degrees who are as thick as shit. A degree doesn't give the upper edge in relationships as it would career wise.

DH didn’t even go to school! Thanks to his alcoholic abusive mum. He literally couldn’t read properly when we met.
But he’s kind and funny, and works hard and has done very well for himself without any education, also knows how to look after himself, ie he isn’t a man child, and knows how to do everything DIY related.
Plus he has a massive amount of common sense, which is great because I’m highly educated but have zero common sense 🤣
There’s far more to people that being educated.

GreenlandTheMovie

I wasn’t trying to argue, It just comes across that on the one hand you find people without formal education to be closed off but then say you wouldn’t give the time of day to people without the right sort of degree.

Have to laugh at your assumption that doctors, dentists and lawyers are pillars of the community.

I know a lot of one of these professions and wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them.

Did know one solicitor who did his own conveyancing on a house he bought.
Only when he came to sell did someone point out to him that it was leasehold and not freehold

Dp once worked for the department that dealt with complaints against one of these professions.
For a lot a speeding ticket was an irrelevant annoyance. They were up to far worse

Oliversmummy will you please stop accusing me of saying things that I haven't said. At no point, did I use the phrase "pillars of the community". I was responding to another poster who agreed with me that lawyers, doctors and dentists (of whom I am one, so I should know) tend to have similar personality traits, and that this is born out by psychological modelling. Its clearly a discussion at a level which has gone completely over your head and its obvious that I was responding to another poster.

I also did not use the phrase "wouldn't give the time of day to people without the right sort of degree". I said I would be less likely to form a successful relationship with them or choose to date them in the first place. I don't know if you are being deliberately obtuse or if you have led a very sheltered life or something, but do you really think that people exist who don't have friends from all walks of life when they talk about having several hobbies?

Did know one solicitor who did his own conveyancing on a house he bought. Only when he came to sell did someone point out to him that it was leasehold and not freehold

Dp once worked for the department that dealt with complaints against one of these professions.*

For a lot a speeding ticket was an irrelevant annoyance. They were up to far worse

Maybe get some therapy to help you with your issues about certain professions?

You really have no right to comment so negatively on someone else's personal choices of what they find attractive in a potential partner. I'm not one of those people attracted to a lot of men. I find a lot of men incredibly annoying and its not possible to give them a chance as you would probably advocate me doing, because they set my teeth on edge.

You do do that thing that some men do though, of trying to argue into going out with them, insulting others, trying to brainwash you almost. It really doesn't work and its really creepy to come across a woman doing it and not recognising it for what it is.

I am degree educated.

My partner - who I've been with for 19 years - left school at 15 with no qualifications.

To add, he's not academic in the slightest - hated school and was never going to work in a high powered job. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, he's an incredible father

Sir Clive Sinclair didn't go to university.

Lord Alan Sugar didn't go to university.

Sir Richard Branson didn't go to university.

These are simply the ones off the top of my head - there must be many, many more successful, intelligent people that didn't go the further / higher education route.

It's a sad question really and a bit pathetic. You date the individual, not their degree.

I would and I did. I'm educated to post-grad level. He works in the building trade. We're equally as intelligent as each other, just in different ways.

I know plenty of total planks who have masters and PHDs who I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

DH barely has any GCSEs and left school early to go to college to do bricklaying whereas I was quite a high achiever and now have a masters and a profession. He owns a construction company, built our house and earns twice what I do. He’s just naturally very savvy and quite proud of his self made man story. School just doesn’t suit some people I suppose.

Some people have completely useless degrees so it doesn’t always mean much. I dated someone with a degree in media studies, he was older than me (28ish at the time I think) and he worked in a bar. I saw him about 3 years ago, still working in a bar. He has a degree, sure but he didn’t do a thing with it and still earns maybe £9 an hour.

Another ex had a degree in American history?! He works as an estate agent.

We have 5 children in our family. All of us degree education - many with postgrads and my brother has a doctorate and is a uni lecturer. It would not even occur to me to consider whether a degree in a partner is important. Infact my hubby didn’t do very well at high school but has been more successful in life than any of us degree educated people. I think I would be more worried about someone that considered a degree a essential in a partner.

To be honest my experience of a lot of ' highly academic' colleagues is that they have very Little common sense so you aren't all wonderful and gleaming

Obviously not all but this has been a reoccurring theme.

I did. He makes more than I do...and I have a degree. He's intelligent enough to have a degree. He just doesn't.

@GreenlandTheMovie

Oliversmummy will you please stop accusing me of saying things that I haven't said. At no point, did I use the phrase "pillars of the community". I was responding to another poster who agreed with me that lawyers, doctors and dentists (of whom I am one, so I should know) tend to have similar personality traits, and that this is born out by psychological modelling. Its clearly a discussion at a level which has gone completely over your head and its obvious that I was responding to another poster.

I also did not use the phrase "wouldn't give the time of day to people without the right sort of degree". I said I would be less likely to form a successful relationship with them or choose to date them in the first place. I don't know if you are being deliberately obtuse or if you have led a very sheltered life or something, but do you really think that people exist who don't have friends from all walks of life when they talk about having several hobbies?

Did know one solicitor who did his own conveyancing on a house he bought. Only when he came to sell did someone point out to him that it was leasehold and not freehold

Dp once worked for the department that dealt with complaints against one of these professions.*

For a lot a speeding ticket was an irrelevant annoyance. They were up to far worse

Maybe get some therapy to help you with your issues about certain professions?

You really have no right to comment so negatively on someone else's personal choices of what they find attractive in a potential partner. I'm not one of those people attracted to a lot of men. I find a lot of men incredibly annoying and its not possible to give them a chance as you would probably advocate me doing, because they set my teeth on edge.

You do do that thing that some men do though, of trying to argue into going out with them, insulting others, trying to brainwash you almost. It really doesn't work and its really creepy to come across a woman doing it and not recognising it for what it is.

In fairness, I don't think anyone is trying to persuade you to do anything. Just pointing out that your dating criteria are largely based on prejudice and rather odd assumptions (eg 'professional graduates don't tend to swear/make crude comments/break the law in minor ways/behave inappropriately in formal settings etc.'). Whatever though. I'm sure it's working out just fine for you and your dating life is fulfilling and rewarding. Which is the main thing, whatever one's personal hangups or quirks!

No I would not.

So would people marry a graduate without a job on the dole.??? Or the working person whom tries hard for a living. Degree does not always mean high wage

@Christmasfairy2020

So would people marry a graduate without a job on the dole.??? Or the working person whom tries hard for a living. Degree does not always mean high wage

Probably the former. As long as it was not long term. I've nothing against non-graduates per se, its just that I've never met one who didn't annoy me/bore me insufficiently to contemplate dating.

Theres more important things in life than money. Bit disturbed by the amount of talk about money on this thread, as if there was nothing else in life but how much cash a partner brings in.

Definitely not a deal breaker. You can be intelligent/smart without being academic and that's what matters to me. My DH doesn't have a degree. He should have but it just didn't happen for him. He's still smart, sharp, wise and I respect his opinion more than nearly anyone else.

Well, I’m currently sat next to my intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful husband who left school at 14/15 without a single qualification to his name and I’m blissfully happy so there’s your answer.
He set up his own business at 21, which more than supports us and is unarguably successful, and he’s well respected in his field.

Yes - education does not necessarily correlate with intelligence, by which I mean curiosity and critical thinking skills.

Creative types and entrepreneurs often rely on their intelligence to carry them through uncharted territory when starting a business

The vast majority of entrepreneurs are graduates and almost half have higher degrees. You can even get degrees and masters in entrepreneurship.

Yes. Why not? Lots of smart successful people with intellectual curiously don’t stay on at school.

@CountFosco

Creative types and entrepreneurs often rely on their intelligence to carry them through uncharted territory when starting a business

The vast majority of entrepreneurs are graduates and almost half have higher degrees. You can even get degrees and masters in entrepreneurship.

I’m sure it’s true a lot of entrepreneurs have degrees, but by no means all. But I do think that a degree or masters in entrepreneurship sounds like a screaming waste of time - MBA I get.