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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My boyfriend punched me in the face and fractured my nose.

80 replies

KCMummy · 09/12/2020 16:15

I’ve written this post as an outlet, I’ve also written it for support and the hope that my story and experiences will help anyone going through the same thing to get help and be free.
I’ve written this lost in diary form, starting from today.
I will add how our relationship started, the things we went through and all the rest of it gradually.

The incident took place yesterday, it is still very raw. But if it’s raw it might help just one person become free, so here goes.

Diary of a beaten mummy;

Day 1; it all feels very surreal. I can only see out if one eye. My other eye is completely black and purple, it has a lump the size of a plum on it that has filled with fluid.
My nose is still very swollen and disfigured, it too is covered in bruises and is pretty purple, it had been broken with a head butt from my boyfriend.
My beautiful daughter (age 6) has been very well behaved, she’s been pretty much by my side all day. Not wanting for much, telling me I am still pretty “even doh your eyes is like that”.
I keep having thoughts about him, how we met, how close we were, how I can’t believe now I will have to create a life without him. It’s all so fresh, I’m even worried about him being in custody, will he be ok ?
I know I shouldn’t, but I’m human.
But I will not give in to these feelings, I will not speak to him ever again.

OP posts:
Tinselette · 09/12/2020 16:18

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP 💐

Tinselette · 09/12/2020 16:20

Have you sought medical and police help?

Aquamarine1029 · 09/12/2020 16:21

I really hope you have reported this to the police. You must do this.

isthismylifenow · 09/12/2020 16:24

Oh OP. I am so sorry.

You are a strong person and doing the very best for your daughter. I hope he gets a long sentence for what he had done to you. Even that isn't enough though.

Redburnett · 09/12/2020 16:24

You know that you need to LTB. Please give a statement and get photographic evidence so that he is punished in court.

Cosmos45 · 09/12/2020 16:25

I hope you are ok. how awful for you to experience this. And to the others who have replied "have you told the police" the OP actually mentioned in her post that he is in custody.

Bunnymumy · 09/12/2020 16:27

It takes a real monster to headbutt a woman.
Good for you for getting him out op. He is exactly where he should be. I doubt it will phase him one jot tbh. But hopefully they will throw away the key and he'll never be able to hurt a woman again. Probably wishful thinking.

You're wee lass sounds lovely :)

I hope she will grow up knowing that a woman should never let a man lay his hands on her. Might be wise to have that chat with her when you feel strong enough.

Also, speak to womens aid if you havent already and start thinking about next steps. Moving forward look into how to protect yourself and your little one. Eg: changing the locks. And finances eg: look into any benefits you will be entitled to. Also consider your support network, try not to lean on anyone toxic (eg: people who think you should forgive him) but tell any good ppl in your life, what has happened. The more who know, the more to help you stay strong when you are tempted to go back.

Bunnymumy · 09/12/2020 16:27

*your

SummerHouse · 09/12/2020 16:29

Thank you for writing this down OP. Your daughter sounds like an angel.

LajesticVantrashell · 09/12/2020 16:32

I have spent this afternoon listening to one of my closest friends, hilarious, caring, intelligent, tell me about the emotional, financial and, now, physical abuse she's been suffering at the hands of her adoring partner.

My heart breaks for her, and for you. I am distraught that she's going through this - largely alone - while she tries to plan an escape for her and her son.

I am sending you so much love and strength. We're all here for you.

TriflePudding · 09/12/2020 16:32

Please please get in touch with some real life support OP, if you can’t tell anyone you know just yet then ring women’s aid.

You can get through this. You will get through this. Hope you are ok.

Shoxfordian · 09/12/2020 16:35

I'm so sorry as well
Can you speak to womens aid and the police for practice help? Do you have real life support?

PrincessNutNutRoast · 09/12/2020 16:36

I’m even worried about him being in custody, will he be ok ?

I hope not. Please contact the police and get medical help, for your daughter if not for yourself.

Parkermumma07 · 09/12/2020 16:37

Please go to the police, I’m sure you know this but it won’t end there. It WILL escalate, if for no other reason do it for your daughter. Please don’t let her grow up seeing this relationship as normal.
If you can’t face ringing the police then take photos and make a record of the date time, circumstances ect just in case you need it in the future .

ApolloandDaphne · 09/12/2020 16:38

I hope you get some support to see you through this. It sounds like you have reported it. Hopefully he will be punished for this.

Tinselette · 09/12/2020 16:40

Thank you for pointing this out Cosmo. I'm sorry that I missed that line.

twilightermummy · 09/12/2020 16:44

What other things has he done to you?
Did your daughter witness the attack?

Ginfordinner · 09/12/2020 16:44
Flowers
katy1213 · 09/12/2020 16:52

Stay strong. You have done the right thing as he is in custody. Change the locks as they might not keep him in for long.
And if you waver, remember that you are showing your daughter that it is absolutely not all right to be treated to be like this.
Whatever the ups and downs ahead, your life and hers will be much better without him.

DawnLaura · 09/12/2020 16:54

You are one strong lady. I am so sorry you’ve had to experience this. You and your daughter will be okay. Please reach out for all the support you need.

And please, please don’t ever have any contact with this man again. If he is capable of hurting you, he is capable of murdering you.

Witchymoo · 09/12/2020 16:55
Flowers
Allergictoironing · 09/12/2020 16:57

You do really need to get it checked out at A&E. Reporting the incident to the police was a good thing for your own protection - if he's done it once, he'll do it again. Plus he wasn't worried about you being OK when he assaulted you!

MikeUniformMike · 09/12/2020 17:02

If you haven't already, you need to tell the police and you need to get your eye and nose seen to.

If he is in custody, i imagine it is for ABH (or GBH) and domestic violence.

You probably will feel sorry for him. It was probably out of the blue, but that was who he was all along.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/12/2020 17:05

Please, please leave.

For your sake and for your child's sake.

Don't accept this from hi, and don't teach her that this is something women have to put up with.

There're organisations out there who will help you, and people on here who will give you support. You are worth so much more than this. You are in shock - your DD will be terrified. She will want to protect you and she will fee helpless because she can't . She needs you to be strong and to make sure this awful man doesn't get away with this sort of behaviour.

Original poster
KCMummy · 09/12/2020 17:06

Thank you all for your beautiful words and advice.

My ex is in custody, they are going to try and charge him with ABH. They may release him, but they will try to demand him.

I went to the hospital last night, I’ve been told to ice me eyes and nose and not sleep laying flat.

Thank you all again, you don’t know how much your words mean to me.

Much love x

OP posts: