When did you meet the one and have children?

[FNN88]

I'm almost 33 and yet to find this - is there hope?

Met at 36. Married at 38. Baby 1 at 39 and Baby 2 at just 41. Now 48 and we couldn’t be happier. Xxx

met at 14, pregnant at 15, now 28 with 4 kids (13, 6, 2, 7 months). we were due to get married this summer but we’ve put a hold on it until we can have a ceremony and reception with all our family there.

Met at 20, had DS at 21, married at 22. He was definitely my person, we had nearly 20 years together before he died. There won't be anyone else because I wouldn't risk being with someone who is abusive, just for the sake of sex.

Got together at 17, engaged at 19, bought first house and married at 22, DD born when I was 31, DS born when I was 33. Husband one year older than me. Still happily married at 61 and 62.

32. Kids at aged 35, 37 and 40

Met at 35, married at 38, DD born earlier this year at 40.

Late 30s. Not sure I believe in The One. But
two people who are compatible may want to commit to build a relationship together if it seems like a good choice.

Met my DP at 29, first DC at 33 and now expecting my second at 37. Due to get married late next year.

34 online, three kids in rapid succession. Don’t give up

I never met the one. I had my child anyway and was a single mum.

Me too! I seemed to attract troubled men who’d had unhappy childhoods and who ultimately didn’t want kids.

I’m so glad I had my DD - she’s a great kid. I’m 39 and haven’t met the one, but never say never!

I no longer feel any pressure to meet someone, and that pressure really didn’t help, especially with online dating. I think that some men carefully avoid the dating profiles of 35-year-old women who admit they want kids, fearing that they’re desperate and will grab the first person in trousers who smiles at them.

My life didn’t go according to plan, but that’s OK.

Met my exh at 23, had 2 children by 30.
Thought about breaking up with him at 25, but he persuaded me not to.
Should probably really have broken up with him and maybe had children ten years later or whatever. Perhaps gone on a date with that man that chatted me up on the train. Or with that other guy I thought was too short but probably lives in a mansion by now :)
There is no One.

I'm not sure that I believe in "The One" but I met dh through online dating when I was 28. We're compatible in that have similar interests, political opinions and outlook on life and we get on well, but I never got that feeling of him being the one I wanted to marry that some people describe. Our relationship just kind of started and never stopped.

I had our 1st child at 31 and our 2nd at 32. We got married when I was 33.

Met exdh at 28 , married at 30 ,had DC at 33 and 36 respectively.

Divorced

Then met the one

Sorry that didn't help did it.

Met at 18, married at 25, divorced at 46, still good friends but both have new dp's. Met dp at 46, too old for kids

Never met “The One.”

Had the children anyway (through adoption).

Met my DH when I was 34 and he was 26, and had DD two years later you have plenty of time

Met him at 38 & three quarters.

Told him in no uncertain terms what I wanted from life. This was after our first date...

Wedding was 6 months later and baby came 11 months after meeting when I was just shy of 40.

33 married at 34, small child at 37

Met at 34 (me) 37 (him) married two years later. Had babies at 39, 40 and 43. Mulling trying for a fourth!

@FNN88

I'm almost 33 and yet to find this - is there hope?

God yes.

I was 22. I was not looking for the one. I thought he would be a good man to have sex and fun with for a while whilst I sorted my life out a bit. And then ruined it by falling in love, marrying him and having a baby (I was 24 when we had our first).

My brother was in his 30s when he met the love of his life, my fantastic, beautiful, hilarious and much loved SIL. My auntie H was in her 40s when she met her lovely husband. There is always time.

Met in my mid 20s but friends for a long time. Married and baby late 30s. Is he there under your nose? Mine was!

@MMmomDD

OP - I am a decade older then you and in the phase of life where people have already met, had kids, and are in various stages of their relationships (from divorced to oK, with shades in between). So - here is a bit of advice.... Don’t focus too much on the concept of The One.... Doesn’t really exist. There are people whose relationships work out, and those whose don’t. And it has nothing to do with the strength of feeling like they were The One - back when they met. Then you are at the age where you need to decide how important having children is for you. And if it’s something that you really want - you still have time, but there is a certain time limitation that you will have. And based on that - just don’t necessarily wait for some sort of fireworks-full arrival of The One. I find that dating&falling in love as a 20-something is very different from dating your 30s when you are trying to decide who you’ll have kids with. In addition to the emotional/physical connection one also can’t avoid some of the practical and mundane considerations. Thing is - having kids is difficult and it challenges many relationships. So - you want to find someone who is not only great at arranging candlelit dinners, but also will be there in the middle of the night helping to change diapers. Etc.

But to answer your question - I met my H when I was about your age. Just after I broke up with a man I thought was The One, who I met in late 20s. But The One and I just didn’t work in real life, there were fireworks and not always the good kind. My H and seemed better suited and we went on to have two kids.

Totally agree about not getting hung up on the idea of 'the One' - I found my DH when I found my best friend that I fancied madly, rather than an idealised human.

Having said that - we met at 35, living together by 36 and had DD by 37, so it is not too late if that is what you want

I don't think it's about the concept of "The one" but more what you define as that.

In my twenties I thought the concept of the one was about perfection and fireworks , this idealistic image of no rows and perfect soft focused Sunday mornings in bed.

Of course the one if someone feels like they find is very different. DP is my person. He challenges me , complements my personality, hes the one I feel is the other side of the same coin to me. That's is not to say the world is rosy. We hit bumps in the road and we work through them , mutual respect and consideration both comes from the same place for the two of us. We match on fundamental views and intentions.

The fireworks were short and are never enough to base a long term partnership on. The one so to speak should be your match , your partner. That does not preclude them or you being annoying or there to be tough bits. Sad bits , hard bits.

The one as a concept is fine. The one being soft focused romanticized perfection is not.

32 then has ds at 33