I think I need to end it

[Whatwouldscullydo]

I just cant do it any more. Fuck knows what I'm gonna do about work/money. Kids will probably be gutted. And I have no idea how I'm gonna do it. Its been 15 years not sure I know much different, but I just can't.

How do you end it without a massive fight/argument....

It will be ok won't it?

Luckily our finances are separate and we aren't married. Hopefully this room will be sorted this week anyway and will take me some time to fill everything out. Not expecting to have anything processed this side of Xmas.

I work 15 hours a week do I get tax credits or working tax credits ?

@Whatwouldscullydo
You need to claim Universal Credit.
Tax credits is not available to new claimants unless you meet very specific criteria which involves disability benefits.

Get your claim in now as its 5 weeks until first payment although you can get an advance.

They will only pay up to 50% rent while he still lives there, after that they will pay 100% even if he is still on the tenancy but you have to request this.

In an ideal world you would be given a new tenancy in your own name but this isn't always as easy as it seems depending on whethet you rent privately or are a social housing tenant.

Thanks sorting

So the agreement doesn't mean I won't get paid then? How do I prove hes moved out as hes not intending on changing his address incase the new place doesn't work out. He did say he'd get himself taken off the council tax so I can get the single person discount,

I will restart the forms then. Thanks.

If hes moving out to I declare his savings on the forms?

You don't need to prove anything. Just apply for Universal Credit as a single person. I still had a joint mortgage and it was the tax credit office that told me I could claim. I called them to update that we had split but he was moving out in x months and they said my claim with them would end from the date of our split (3 months earlier), and I had to apply for UC now. I did and they never even asked about it. It does take 5 weeks and it's a bit of a process so the sooner the better OP. And yes they'll top you up with those working hours. I work part time and get my income topped up.

Don't declare his savings. They're his and will be going with him.

This is all really helpful thank you all so much!

While he is still living there you will only get 50% of the rent which is capped at a set limit.
Look up local housing allowance rates in your area to see what they will pay.

Once he has left then inform your landlord as UC will ask the landlord for proof you live on your own and it can be a faff to sort so asking the landlord for a new tenancy is a good plan.

Only include your savings, if you have over £16,000 you wont get UC.

You need to make sure all bills for the house are in your name and he needs to move his bank account, phone bill, car insurance etc to his new address or a family members address otherwise they may think you are still together.

UC and local councils can check credit records under addresses and this is how they detect fraud and how a lot of fraud cases are found out.
Do not let him have anything at your address

@Fudgsicles
If her husband is on the tenancy she will have to prove he has left and thats why someone told her to get his name off the tenancy as its much easier

They dont ask the same of home owners as the legalities are so different to renting.

Well I survived the first night. Kids were obviously upset though think its finally hit them. All the firms filled out this week so now just a waiting game. And xp needs to get himself taken off the council tax. Trying to sort out the energy bills now. God usage is insane I have no idea where its all going cant all be the washing machine and tumble dryer can it? Needless to say I won't afford that so trying to find something I can afford.

Why do I get the feeling there's gonna end up being a bit of a mess to sort out...

Well done OP.
If your bills are high, talk to the children about being more aware.
Turning lights off.
Shorter showers.
Turn off the kettle before it reaches peak boil.
Use the tumble dryer to finish the clothes off rather than straight from the washing machine.
I don't wash clothes just for the sake of it. I wash because of necessity.
I do all of the above because of the environment....or so I tell my children which they CANNOT argue with.
Become super aware.
Spot lights are a killer so turn them off or replace with a lamp in the room when you don't need them full on.
Just become very aware and it will make a difference.

I have already done that. Im hoping that with one less person in the house and the computer not being used so much and no one falling asleep infront if the TV that will help too. I'm getting all the washing done this weekend and ordering a clothes airer so I can start doing smaller loads and drying outside. Still something is not right its ridiculous.

Had a bit if a rough day tbh dd1 has barely said a word or eaten all day. Id have thought he'd have text them to see how they were or even me to ask after them given that I had them both in tears yesterday night.

It was expected im not surprised nor am I begrudging having to deal with them obviously, just wish there was something I could do to help them feel better

Leaving items on standby is almost as bad as leaving them one so that is something to consider.

I have unplugged everything I can reach 😬 unfortunately dp got one of those smart meters so now they can charge us for the electricity used to run the bloody thing...

Tomorrow I have to venture behind the book case to investigate some plugs, see what they are attached to akd what i can get rid of. But ill do that when the kids are downstairs so they can send help if I get stuck

😂

Your humour will keep you going!!

What heating/hot water system have you got!

Its a reasonably new boiler that's regularly serviced. We had the BG home care plan but unfortunately unless we spend out on an expensive power flush they refuse to deal with any further problems. The radiators are regularly bled and there's no issue with uneven temperatures or anything and one engineer that came out said there was no indication that a power flush was needed they were just trying to flog us some magnetic thing. And I think they messed something up when they last serviced or came out which was just before Lock down number 1and now even though I've turned the heating off at the box it still comes on think that may well have something to do with it. That and the extension leads everywhere which I am unplugging as I remember them. First port of call after tier 4 restrictions and Xmas I think and when I have money coming in is a plumber !

Honestly this house is a DIY nightmare. You'd think that living with a builder getting work done would be easy.

But no...

@Whatwouldscullydo
You are doing brilliantly at the moment and the crusade to reduce your energy use will keep you occupied for a while.

In my experience tumble dryers cost about 50p - £1 per load.
Computers left on all the time use at least £1 per day.

At work if i yhink my clients energy usage is high i tell them to turn off everything at the plugs including freezers and the meter should stop,if it doesnt go round the house again and check again until you are 100% sure everything is off. If it still moves its faulty and you need to get it repaired. And remember to switch important things back on🤣

Do you have a hot water tank? If you heat by gas but have an option to heat by electric then check the switch near the boiler as heating hot water by electric is approx £1-£2 per day.

If you have sheds outside did he put power into those? If he did switch everything off.

Will be interesting to see what all the extension leads are for, do you genuinely not have enough plugs or did the ex just want loads plugged in?

I'm concerned about the heating coming on willy nilly, do you have that and your hot water on timers?
If when the hot water comes on the heating does too and it shouldnt then it could be the diverter valve.
If you dont want the heating on but cant stop it coming on then turn the thermostst down to 5 so it doesnt actually come on (unless you live somewhere really cold and then it will🤣)

Let me see if I can explain this, you can have the hot water on without the heating but you cant turn the heating on without turning on the water too.

Something about needing seven wires but we only have 6.

Thats my first plan in the new Yr to see if I can get this heating fixed. I'm gonna have a mass clear out and see if I can get a few things repaired.

The extension leads were more cos of the position of the plugs vs where we need things. But I can't get behind the TV unit/book case very easily. That's where the last of the plugs are . With the TV router dvd player Alexa wii ajd his x box im gonna put the xbox in the loft we don't use it.

No power into the shed but we do have a cupboard out the front with a freezer in it but we need that.