Earlier this year (pre-lockdown) I met a great guy. The relationship has flourished, surviving what is now TWO lockdowns, making a great effort to see each other and show our affection in creative ways when Boris said otherwise. I have never met anybody like him; he makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world - so secure, confident and happy.
However - there is one problem.
Before the second lockdown and pre-tighter restrictions my boyfriend suggested that he, myself and his best friend get together for a meal. I thought this would be a great idea, as I love a night out at the best of times, and thought it would be amazing to meet the guy he speaks so highly of as his "best friend". I thought if we could all get along, this would just make our relationship even better.
Well - I went along to said meal and it was horrific. The "best friend" was literally horrible to me, making insulting remarks about my skin (acne is something I have struggled with since my teens), and even openly saying to my boyfriend (in front of me!!) comments which compared me to XXXX's previous girlfriends (both on a physical level and a "performance" level!)!!! I was mortified.
To rub salt in the wounds, my boyfriend said or did nothing to stop these remarks. He wasn't encouraging them, but he didn't discourage them either. He sat back and let them continue. They continued for a the best part of 2 hours, until we got the bill and went home. (My boyfriend and I don't live together)
I felt sick. It was 2 hours of what I could only describe as relentless bullying - these comments just didn't stop!
Looking back I'm not sure how I managed to sit through the entire meal - but I did.
It raised so many questions. It has made me question everything I thought I had with this guy. By not saying anything, was my boyfriend complicit in these remarks? How ON EARTH does he regard this guy as his best mate!? I know for a fact if it were the other way around, and my friends had been making such comments to XXXX, then I would have nipped them in the bud there and then.
Do I ignore it, or should it raise red flags about my boyfriend?
The day after the meal I told my boyfriend how it made me feel, and all he said that it was his mate's idea of "banter" and that he was "only having a laugh" .... the thing is, nobody was laughing!!!