Taking a Day Off but not mentioning it

[Lettitbee]

I'm a SAHP and DH works full time, usually in an office but since March from home.

When doing the shopping online this evening, he mentioned that he would pick it up in the morning. I queried this, and he said he wanted to do some baking (he has never baked in the 15 years that we've been together). This confused me, and it eventually transpired that last week, he'd decided to take Monday off work.

I asked him why he hadn't discussed this with me or even mentioned it. No response at all. He's just sitting refusing to talk to me. Is this odd? I feel like it would be usual to at least mention to your partner that you were taking a random day off, but particularly currently when he knows I'm bored and stuck at home. I wouldn't have made arrangements with a friend for tomorrow, for example, if I'd known. What do you think?

Working from home is a complete slog even though most people - like my ex husband think that I'm sat in the house polishing my foof.

It is mentally exhausting speaking to a laptop all day and I don't know about your husband but my workload has increased x 3.

He probably just wanted a day off to himself to mentally switch off. I'm sure it's not suspicious and I'm sure it's difficult to put yourself in his head but that's what I think.

And just to add - I have a 9 and 11 yo who ex-h now promptly drops off at 15:30 every school day even though I did the school run and used to be in the office until 18:00.
He complains that I'm 'always on a meeting' when he drops them off - which I am as I have a meeting at 15:00 every day

A few guys at my work do this, they don’t tell their partners because they think they’ll be given chores to do and just want to chill.

I think this is also the kind of situation which shows up the difference in experience between people who work outside the home and people who work in it. He spends his working day with adults and is therefore not starved of adult company. He probably just wanted some downtime when he doesn’t have to interact with anybody. You spend your working day with children and are probably longing for adult company when the opportunity to have it arises.

It was similar for me and my husband when I was still going into the office and he was working from home (he has worked from home for years). I would come home after a day in the office having had plenty of social interaction and just wanting some downtime whereas he might not have spoken to anyone all day and was looking forward to some company.

No-one is at fault in this scenario. I don’t think it’s significant that you’re husband didn’t mention his day off. But it’s understandable that you’re disappointed that he didn’t. Hopefully you can carve out some time together on another occasion.