Does your fella do stuff for you?

[WTF99]

So I've been seeing someone for 3 years now. We are mature and independent...each with own home, financially independent, own friends and family with some overlap but not living in each others pockets. We see each other 4 nights a week and stay over, either at mine or his. It's easy as no dependent children and we live 10 minute drive from each other.
Generally it works well but there's an ongoing bugbear that he seems to think that I'm intent on taking advantage of him, specifically around things I need help with in the house. So...moving heavy stuff that I can't do on my own for example, or more recently some flat pack furniture I've recently bought that takes 2 to assemble. Tonight he's had a massive hissy fit about that....I'm taking advantage of him in asking for his help and no amount of ironing or cooking I might do in return will be enough to make up the balance.
I'm at a loss really. I've had lots of work done in my house this last year and have paid for it all, not expecting or asking anything from him. Hes used to living alone and being independent but ive gradually made progress in getting him to accept my input and help with things in his home.
But there's always this feeling that if I ask him for anything then I'm taking advantage....and taking the piss basically.
I just feel that this is the kind thing people help each other out with when they're in a relationship. I do have other friends I could ask to help me build a flat pack....but he'd probably be in a strop if I did.....and I'm pretty sure they'd be wondering why he wasnt helping me.
So what should I do? Just stop asking him? It all feels so petty and ridiculous. I'd help him with anything but I'm made to feel like a user when I ask for his help with anything

No, don't say you got a man in! You need to say you got a friend to help you. A lovely, helpful friend, you had fun doing it together over a bottle of wine and they expect nothing in return.

I don't know what your DP's deal is but I don't think I'd want to live with a tally over my head.

Definitely not normal. I had several boyfriends before marrying who didn't live with me and they would all help out with something like that. My DH always has done too, though as we live together, the tasks are generally joint projects anyway.

I would also expect my brother to support me / us if necessary - having asked him when it would suit, of course, and we help him out (he lives alone) and any other family member.

Surely helping each other is something people do for each other in all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones? As for tallying the tasks done on each side, that's awful. (Though my DH has been known to cite a particular chore he has completed as an excuse for not having done something else, from time to time! )

He doesn't sound very attractive TBH. Mean spirited and selfish, in fact.

I split up with my ex for many reasons and one thing I resented him for was not helping me build large furniture in our home. He would get angry if I asked for help moving things too. We were together for 3 years and I built every item we bought.

I'm seeing someone else now, my new tv arrived the other day and I'd left it in the packaging as I'm not strong enough to take the old tv down. When he came to my house he asked why I hadn't put the new tv up, I explained I was waiting for my friend to come help me lift it and without me asking he took my old tv upstairs for me and then set up my new tv and put the legs on it

A small simple act but it speaks absolute volumes. Men dont like to watch women struggle so if your partners ok doing that then theres an issue