Cheating bastard?

[palmersbodybutter]

A message popped up on H's phone. It was face up, I clicked on it because it said "Kiera is following you". It's on an app called Komoot (cycling app). DH took up cycling about a year ago. Now I know from the wise women of MN that taking up cycling is a euphuism for an affair, he goes a few times a week for a few hours but does track his journey on this bloody app. I can't say I've ever been bothered or ever checked or been suspicious. I confronted him, he says he knows nothing about it and has stormed off. Relationship isn't great as he's been working from home since March and we are all sick of it but we have DC and hopefully he wouldn't be that stupid. I've added a photo of Kiera's dodgy profile pic FYI. When you click on it, it says page not found, so I suppose it could be phishing, but I'm not sure. Can anyone with a better idea of tech help me?

It's not a great first reaction is it?

Hope you get answers.

Would assume it's a bot, definitely. But his reaction is still really horrible. Why is he angry and storming off?!

Because apparently I'm being ridiculous

Have you looked at the rest of his account?

Any other reasons to feel suspicious in the past? Is he overtly flirtatious/charming with women?

This app could be your friend. If he tracks his journey on there, why don't you look at his trips to see if they last as long as the number of hours he's out, also, you'd know where he goes, handy info that?

Blimey that's quite a profile pic. I think it's extremely unlikely that Keira is a real person who knows your DH and has decided to follow him on a cycling app with a photo of her bare boobs. I'm just struggling to envisage that as a reality.

If this were real and something were happening between them surely 'Keira' wouldn't be showing off her assets to everyone on the app in a public profile photo?

Much more likely to be a bot IMO.

Looks like spam tbf, the sort of random follows from fake accounts you get on Instagram.

Yes, I have looked at his account. He follows 5 people who look legit and 5 people follow him. I didn't recognise any names. Not Kiera though. Yes he's very outgoing and charming and flirtatious. Lockdown has been hard as he's an extrovert and been stuck in with us so is feeling a bit miserable, so I'm wondering if he is up to something. An ego boost or whatever some middle aged men seem to feel the need to do. I'm still going out to work so at least I'm getting out of the house, but it hasn't been easy for me either! Like I say the relationship isn't great. We've been together 23 years, ups and downs, and in a down right now.
He stormed off saying I shouldn't have looked at his phone and was being ridiculous. I never do normally, it was just because the message popped up.

This of weird ...

You are being ridiculous though. It's so obviously spam/phishing.

You jump to the conclusion that he’s a cheating bastard because of a spammer ??

I just googled the app + spam/ fake accounts and no one has reported this happening/ bots. I would legitimately sit him down and say you just saw a naked woman pop up on his phone app and you have every right to be concerned/ want an explanation and if he can't tell you why its there without getting angry and gaslighting you then you will need to think about the future of this relationship.

It happens these bot accounts are everywhere. Doesn't mean he's done anything wrong. So why the aggressive over reaction? That's what would prompt me to dig further

I've had some horrible bot type stuff appear on my strava account. I no longer use it but it was disgusting. Totally innocent on my part. I think honestly this might be innocent.

I'd be more suspicious of his overreaction. A picture of an almost naked woman pops up on his phone and he storms off and says you're being ridiculous when you ask a perfectly reasonable question? Nah, that's not right.

Sorry OP but you are being ridiculous—it is quite clearly a bot porn account. If you have a Twitter, a Facebook, an Instagram etc you will constantly be added by these (I have a name that is used by men and women, maybe female names don’t get this as much).

There’s nothing weird in his reaction—if my partner confronted me over “jenna69” with a picture of a nipple following me I would think he’s absolutely barmy and a jealous nutjob. It is very clearly fake.

It's a bot.

His reaction... I'm not sure. If dp immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was doing something untoward because a guy sent me a dick pic on insta (for instance), I think I would be angry. Angry that he had such a low opinion of me and clearly didn't trust me. But, after my initial anger I'd want to know why he felt like that, and talk to him about it. So if he's still angry then it doesn't sit right with me.

Blimey that's quite a profile pic. I think it's extremely unlikely that Keira is a real person who knows your DH and has decided to follow him on a cycling app with a photo of her bare boobs. I'm just struggling to envisage that as a reality.

My thoughts exactly.

That's a spam bot.

Cycling is more of an excuse to avoid doing things at home, than an affair.

@RantyAnty

That's a spam bot.

Cycling is more of an excuse to avoid doing things at home, than an affair.

Ha this, every family man I know with a cycling hobby uses it as an excuse to be out of the house for hours at the weekends while their partner does the bulk of the parenting.

Definitely a bot.

Honestly OP I'm wondering how cycling is a euphemism for an affair! I've had a bike for years but really only properly started cycling since first lockdown. And I'm out actually cycling - not having an affair.

I agree with pp - sounds like a bot and his initial reaction was one of frustration with you. Think you both need a heart to heart.

I also use it as a break from the kids!

You're completely overreacting. I've had bot accounts like that follow me on my Fitbit app and if DP instantly accused me of having an affair I'd be furious and probably walk off too.

Do you have any other reason to suspect he's cheating?