Finding love again as a single mum, chances slim?

[AddictedToAvocados]

Hi all,

So I'm 26 and I had a baby 3 months ago, myself and my ex-fiancé broke up 2 months after he was born and there's zero chance of reconciling. It's not like this wasn't planned and we didn't plan our future, we were together 8 years before deciding to "try". Anyway, he started getting abusive a couple months into my pregnancy and told me no one will want me now I'll be with a child, to make me feel like I have to put up him whenever we had an argument, then he'd go back to being nice again. I left a few weeks ago because the emotional abuse was getting too much and he was of no help physically or financially, really.

Those seeds of doubts have sprouted in my mind. What if I'll never find anyone again? I do want to be loved and I've been emotionally detaching from my ex for just under a year now, so the split (in my mind) has been happening for a good while. I know I won't even seriously consider a new relationship until this little one is at least a few years old, but I can't help but wonder. Are chances of single mothers finding love again much slimmer than childless mums?

I'd love to hear some advice or stories to make me feel a little better. I never thought I'd be in this situation, but here I am :/

@Manwithplan1332 awwww sweetheart, you do know that size isn’t everything don’t you? The fact you clearly have a micro penis shouldn’t mean you attack women for fun… off you pop! I’d call you a twat but that’s an insult to lovely vulvas everywhere.

@Manwithplan1332

Unfortunately most good and attractive men have a choice and the reality is men will always choose someone without children over someone who has them its a massive commitment for very little reward you need to ask what exactly do you offer them?. The sad thing is that these same men may happily sleep with you but will always have a plan not to commit but you will think he likes you which confuses you. Realistically you will have to accept your value plummets when you have kids and the men who you think are below you are the only ones who will take you in a relationship but there is a massive movement at the moment to stop men from taking on others mens children and to only date women without children so this will probably make things even worse for you. The silver lining for men at least is that things tend to flip on their head for men at 35 and they can choose to have an easy life and choose a fresh start with a young woman. Life is Hard

So a bloke gives his opinion and everyone gets on the defensive about his opinion, its good to have a different perspective as everyone else has posted seems to be from women, this maybe gives false hope with all these 'success' storys when the reality is you would obviously be at a disadvantage in the dating world compared to someone who dosent have children, especially in your 20's, im sorry but blokes have plenty of choice of women without children in their 20s and the majority would rather find someone who hasn't allready been through that life stage and got children allready. That's not to say it will never happen, it will just take lots of trying, more so than someone who dosent have children. That's just the reality, not being horrible.

He’s talking bull,

My mum was a single mum in her late 20s and met another man when I was 2 .

@Batlash13

I feel exactly the same. I'm 42..I had my son now 5 months via ivf. My partner at the time backed out last minute...so scared of being alone forever...such less opportunities to meet anyone..all the decent men seem like they are taken

@Batlash13

I'm 39 and currently pregnant with an IVF and sperm donor baby, so I understand how tough it must have been for you in terms of wanting a baby/family. And the the fact your ex partner backed out at the last minute.

I also wonder once I settle in to motherhood what the 'dating landscape' will look like for me. I do remember acutely when I was single, childless and had 100% availability that OLD was horrific, anxiety-provoking and quite demoralising. Due to my age it is unlikely that I'd consider another child, I'm not interested in getting married (am divorced and don't want the hassle of joined up finances etc), but it'd be really nice to meet an emotionally available man who can commit, be loyal but also be considerate why I don't want to 'escalate' the relationship in a conventional way. No good advice for all the posters I'm afraid, I'm just saying I sympathise!