Said something I regret

[MommaCNBS]

My husband packed up and left a couple of months ago after 21 years of marriage. He regrets it and wants to work things out but I’m not having it. We had a discussion about how mean/rude of a person he actually is and things got heated. I ended up telling him he was once so mean to his mom she told me “sometimes I wonder if he even loves me!?” We lost her less than 2 years ago to cancer and I swore I’d never tell him and I don’t even know why but It was an instant regret saying it. I feel terrible! Now he throws it in my face when we talk. That it was a low blow with her passing away. Sorry for the rambling. It’s just tough times over here. 😔

I just wonder why he wants to come back if you are so bad OP ?

He honestly didn’t want to leave. He did it to get a reaction, in hopes I would beg him to stay. That didn’t happen and I’m sure he had instant regret. He left, I got a job and haven’t asked him for a single thing. He really thought things would go differently but I seen this as my way out.

Does he know he is a mean and rude person OP or does he blame you for his behaviour ... or does he not recognise his meanness ?

He does know. I think he sees it more now that we’ve separated but his excuse is that he talks that way because “that’s just who he is.” He thinks he can say whatever he wants even if it hurts others.

I am amazed you put up with it for so long

I honestly don’t know why I did. Maybe for the kids? Maybe because I thought he would change? I started calling him out more once he left. I called him out not long after he left and he told me “if that hurt your feelings, you’re just a pussy.” I’m realizing more every day that I just don’t have to deal with anymore but it’s so hard to break the cycle.

I think 21 years is less than a life sentence for murder. Cut him loose and start to live again x

Thank you! You’re so right!