Will I manage on this?

[Gatheryourtarten]

I have 3 primary dc and I’m considering leaving dh, he has a very well paid job (£160k plus) and I have a much lower paying part time job that fits more or less with the children. Prior to having the children I had a career but I stopped working for a few years.
I earn approx £700 a month. It is term time only too.
I think - based on dh having them every other weekend and one night in the week - he’d have to pay around £1k?
I’d get UC too.

I think all in it would be about £2,600? Plus child benefit which I don’t currently receive.
I have no savings, not much pension. I would get a share of the house. Dh has a large pension and about £60k in savings, maybe more.
I want as little as possible from him because that will be the least inflammatory way of splitting. He won’t want to give me anything.
Ideally I’d like to either not have a mortgage or only a small one.
Is this manageable or will I need more work? It’s hard right now to find anything more and youngest dc is only 3.

I just want to add children get Increasingly expensive as they get older and you need to consider this

If OP doesnt want to share WHY they are divorcing she doesnt have to. It wasnt the original subject.

OP, I own my house (250k) and have some small savings (5k). I earn 30k and do still receive universal credit due to my large childcare bills.

You’ve been married for 17 years, have 3 children together that you have provided all the care for, he earns over £160,000 a year and you’re paying half the family food bills from your £700 a month term-time only job and have zero savings?

That is obscene. It is financial abuse.

Please go and see a good solicitor.

Op please take thé gréât advice you're being given

Agree with everything people are saying on here. Get what your children are entitled to. You will regret it massively if you don't.
There is a woman on here who didn't take her fair share and the rich husband has poisoned/ spoils the kids so much that they now want to live with him.
Please get a good solicitor and wise up.

OP this is difficult to read. You are so overwhelmed with guilt that you are sleep walking into a disaster. Please talk to someone in real life and also go to a solicitor, any solicitor will do at this point, to get a more informed perspective.

@AuntyPasta

You’ve been married for 17 years, have 3 children together that you have provided all the care for, he earns over £160,000 a year and you’re paying half the family food bills from your £700 a month term-time only job and have zero savings?

That is obscene. It is financial abuse.

Please go and see a good solicitor.

This. ^

Also, go and check your state pension at the Gov UK site, so you know what you're facing in old age. You have a bit of time to build up some of your own, but it'll be nothing like you should have. Think long-term. Think about your kids. He likes to be front and centre of everything and dominate but it's time you started seeing yourself and the children as just as important.

You state pension amount will go into the Form E alongside his and both your pensions . They will be divided up as will all other assets.

I'm going through similar - was a sahm of 2 for 5 years, husband on 195k plus bonus. I now work PT earning 900/m plus cms/child Ben. Haven't had final hearing yet but judge in last hearing indicted I should be mortgage free and with spousal maintenance til youngest finishes primary school.

Mortgage free you can easily survive on £2600 but if your ex is a high earner won't need to. Judge indicated my income needs were £4K a month (but I Do have quite high childcare costs)

If you'd had equal careers, and simile pensions- I'd say I'd agree with you regarding the ow soon issue- but the rise of 50yr old + women who dont have anything to support themselves with and are finding themselves homeless means this thinking has to stop. He has a career paying £160k a year- because you've done the childcare. He has this career and children because of the decisions youve jointly made. If you walk away with £200k (theoretically) from the house, and minimal future earnings- he still has 20 odd years at 160K to pay into a pension. Your children leave home- and you have no income, or minimal.