Boyfriend called me boring, right to be upset and hurt?

[katiie3]

So I met someone during the first lockdown in March. Our dates consisted of walks and movie nights. Due to restrictions we couldn’t go out and have “dates”

When restrictions eased we started going out for food and a few cinema dates.

However, then restrictions came back in place and we stopped going out.

We have known each other 5/6 months and spend 1 or 2 nights on a weekend ( he comes to mine as I have pets)

We were deciding what to watch for our evening film, and he seemed frustrated as he had seen most films. I commented saying it is hard to find a film to watch together as he has seen everything and he blurted out, “I’ve got a life and friends, I go out and party and have fun, unlike you, I’m not boring”

I was quite hurt, and upset. I still am. He has since apologised and said he didn’t mean it.

But he must think I am to say it?

The rude wanker! I would ask him to explain exactly what he meant by that little gem... and then i would probably end the relationship. Why should he get to spend time with you, if he thinks you're boring?

At least you dont sit around watching films all day, which it sounds like he does!

I think that's a really nasty thing to say.

He's the boring one. You don't need him in your life. Find someone who likes the things you do.

Who goes out to party during a pandemic? I thought everyone was just chilling this year. I think that was rude, and I wouldn’t feel much like continuing the relationship.

So why doesn't he plan something?

I think I’d have asked him...”why are you here then? Surely you have so many far more exciting friends you’d want to be with?”
I wouldn’t put up with being spoken to like that.

I would say that is actually a personal attack.

Unpleasant, disrespectful. Tosser at best, something even nastier at worst.

Bin.

Pronto.

Should the title be 'ex-Boyfriend...' ?

What a rude prick. Besides his answer makes no sense? Surely if he’s watched ALL the movies then he hasn’t been partying with loads of friends, he’s been sitting in watching shite on his own.

It hasn’t been that long OP, I’d drop this idiot.

Rude! I’d be really put off by that comment, and what else more exciting things does he think anyone can do right now anyway?

I’d be on your guard, don’t get too involved and be ready to call it all off

He's not your boyfriend. Send him on his way.

You mean your ex-boyfriend that. Deeply insulting, dont waste anymore of your time

I found it offensive and quite hurtful. And disappointed. He tried justifying himself by saying he said it because he felt like I was making fun of him by saying all he does is watch films. So he made the comment in retaliation. But the friends and him going to party with them or whatever he meant by that seemed weird.

Clearly he said what was on his mind and now he trying to back track.

I’ve never met his friends due to the pandemic however he also said, he doesn’t know where I will fit into his life with his friends. Then AGAIN apologised for that and said he never meant it.

@ChickSmile

I would say that is actually a personal attack.

Unpleasant, disrespectful. Tosser at best, something even nastier at worst.

Bin.

Pronto.

It IS a personal attack. The worrying thing for me is the fact that he’s done this over something so trivial as picking a movie. Plus it’s inaccurate, surely none of us are out partying with friends at the moment? So he’s shown a nasty/aggressive/rude/lying side over a film...

What a dick. And even if he felt you were saying he watched a lot of films - he clearly does - to retaliate by attacking you like that is immature, petty, spiteful, nasty, hurtful and I’m afraid shows his true feelings.

You deserve better.

Sounds like he wants you for sex and company, just for now.

Wouldn’t waste your time with him.

It's time for him to go. Permanently.

I mean there's a pandemic on... no one is out partying and seeing lots of friends...

I'm 25 and haven't been to a club for over a year (and actually have discovered I hate them). We're all living more 'boring' lives right now.

I don't think he respects you.

Oh don't fool yourself.

He absolutely means it.

Ugh. Well I don't believe he thinks you're boring. He probably is worried he is boring and that you will find out. And he has limited or no friends and again, he's scared you will find out.

But that doesn't excuse his reaction of attacking you to make himself feel better. I'd end it or strongly consider ending it. How dare he? You are not his punchbag.

So he’s said more than one hurtful thing? That would be a deal breaker for me. You’ve only got a few weeks until lockdown eases. Bin him now. Why should you provide him with company when he thinks so little of you. What a total wanker. Don’t put up with this or it will set the tone for the relationship. FWIW everyone’s “boring” right now. We’re supposed to be in! Where are all these parties he’s going to? What a prick and actually, personally, I wouldn’t be interested in dating somebody who brags about partying with friends. Spew. I actually want somebody who wants to snuggle in front of Netflix and chow down on fish and chips. Make the decision that you want somebody compatible. Be strong. Be good to yourself.

Wow! Harsh. I was in a relationship before covid killed it but we used to agree we were happy to be boring together.

Id tell him he's free from being bored by you now.

Thank you everyone! It’s reassuring to know that how I feel is real and justified.

How you feel is how you feel and you never need a strong case to win the "right" to feel how you feel.

X

I’ve got a life and friends, I go out and party and have fun, unlike you, I’m not boring

He most likely meant that. Sounds to me like he's more extroverted than you and it might cause even more problems down the road. It's lovely to watch things with people but watching a screen together in silence won't replace face-to-face talking time for him.