@alm23x you asked what made me leave the relationship. It was many things, a few listed below
I was so so tired of justifying my every move. Was I eating dinner? what did I do before that, if I was going to eat dinner why didn’t I tell him so he knew not to text. Becuase ifni had dinner and didn’t tell him I’d come back to loads of message asking why I was ignoring him etc. I got to the point of being so totally downtrodden by this and utterly fed up of trying to have fun with others like visiting family and constantly being on my phone for fear of not updating him. Like you he also twisted it, ‘so you can’t be bothered to speak to your boyfriend’
I started reading...I started looking at all I could online including YouTube videos on coercive control, narcissistic abuse as well as Lundy Bancrofts book why does he do that? (Free pdf if you google) and he was written on every page. That made me realise what a fool I’d been and that he would never change and that I’d fell for every trap/trick in the book
I didn’t trust him anymore. He’d lied, he’d threatened me, on a few occasions he’d become physically violent. I knew i didn’t love him anymore and didn’t want too
When I’d done my reading I could see his responses were textbook too. Threats towards me that I knew deep down he wouldn’t do because of the impact on himself, threatening to kill himself, crying, poor me and my childhood, it wasn’t that he’d done wrong it was because of what I’d done that made him do it.
I could just see the parody of what we had become and I got to the point where I thought I don’t care if you do all the bad things you say, it’s better than being with you under this constant cloud, threat and living a half life on eggshells.
Life has been infinitely better ever since!
I wish you good luck and strength with your decision. Please read but please know form your last update he’s again trying to blame you for his behaviour. Be gone when he returns, as your eyes are opened you can’t close them again