Social media stalking?

[alm23x]

Hi, it's my first post here so be kind!! Lol. Also still learning all the abbreviations so go easy on me with your replies 😂

Basically I'm just wondering how much interest your partners / SO's take in your social media posts - whether this be what you share, pictures, statuses, just in general?
For example - how many likes you get, how often you post, who likes your things, who follows you etc.

Feel like hugging you. I'm so pleased for you. The 'wrong choice' feeling is conditioning, and habit. When you are fully through all this, and you've got a new place and a happy life with the kids, and all the shock has worn off, you'll feel the full power of the right choice you have made, and all your future choices will have the ring of that bell within them.

Must be a huge weight off your mind that the kids are making friends straight away. Someone upthread said 'It's a refuge for you, but it's a holiday for them', and I second that!

Have a good first night, and let us know how you get on. x

@eckhart hugging you right back! You've been so lovely...rooting for me since right at the start of the thread. Il never forget how amazing you've been. I genuinely think for the first time in a couple weeks, I'm gonna get some sleep tonight, and my god do I need it!xx

I’m so pleased you’re all ok and settling in. Have a great sleep.

Sleep well Alm xxx

@honeyroar thank you so much for all you comments and support xxx

@mansmansmum thank you xxx

sleep well, so glad you are safe x you can start dreaming about what you want the rest of your life to look like.

Also, I just wanted to say:
You did not make the children go no contact with him. You did not take the children away from him. You did not separate him from the children.
HIS abuse took the children away from him. HIS abuse put distance between him and his children. HIS abuse made it so his children must be no contact, so that you can be safe!

Anytime someone, because there may eventually be other people who side with your abuser, says, “Why did you do X to him? Why did you do Y to him?” You don’t have to answer them at all, but you tell yourself firmly: “No! I’m not guilty. X/Y/Z (we left/ he can’t see the children/ we had Christmas separately) happened because HE abused ME.” The more you heal, the more you’ll see it.

You’ve come so far, and you’re doing so well. Anyone would be overwhelmed and veer between sad to be gone, happy to have gotten out, confused, scared, giddy - it’s all normal. You can do this.

Alm, I have read this whole thread over the last couple of days and just wanted to drop a note to say how much I am rooting for you and how strong you are for feeling the fear and confusion but not giving in to it. He's an awful man and you and your beautiful children deserve so much better. You're on the right path and you will discover that strength that we all can see, plain as daylight.

One tip I have for you or anyone who needs to drop off the map is to check myactivity.google.com to make sure your privacy settings are at max and all history of search engine searches and locations are deleted.

Good luck, I will be thinking of you over Christmas. It's painful and hard right now but this is the year that your lives changed for the better

Oh Alm, I'm so pleased for you. I was really worried you'd go back. Now you have a proper life to look forward to. Best of luck and best wishes for a brilliant life! XXX

You're doing so well :) xxx

Oh @alm23x I could cry for you I'm so proud! And what lovely kids you have, already making friends on day one. Push on and don't cave when it comes to contact - it will all be worth it. You've been SO brave, you should be so proud of yourself xx

Sleep well lovely lady 💐💐

Brilliant news!!! You did it!!!
Sleep well alm xxx

Well done!

So glad you're somewhere safe and settling in.

Could you perhaps use WiFi at the supermarket to download books to kindle app? Either on phone or if you have a tablet? Difficulty will be if you have an iPhone as you can't buy books for kindle on it. Might ease the boring evenings for you?

This has actually prompted me to look at Apple Books app "properly" as I'm very much a kindle reader and I'm pleased to see there are also free books there, the "chart" the top end is cheesy mills & boon Christmas romances at the moment but scroll down and search and there's "classics" - dickens, Austen etc so I'm sure you could find something to your taste

The "wrong choice" feeling is absolutely normal in the circumstances, it'll take a while to go and some days you'll think it's gone and it comes back another day...as @Eckhart says it's a result of all you've been through - kids will feel like this too at times. But I feel sure you've made the right decision.

@RightYesButNo also says the dc being removed from him is HIS fault, the only person responsible for that is HIM.

Well done! I'm hoping you're asleep and getting some much needed rest.

There's a kindle app for iPhone/iPad so you can download the free books onto it. Or pay £7.99 for kindle unlimited.

Posted too soon.

I joined the library in lockdown and there are hundreds of ebooks on there. AND audiobooks!

Well done Alm, glad to hear your first day has gone well, hope you are able to get a really good night sleep.

Following what @Graphista suggested, there is a free library app called BorrowBox, it links with your local library, allowing you to borrow and download books and audio books and read them online, rather than going to the library to sign out a book. You do need to sign up with a local library, not sure if this would be possible for you, but it might be worth looking at to help keep you entertained/occupied for a few hours in the evenings.

How lovely to have some space - more than at your mother’s!!! I know it feels weird, but you have other mums in the same boat who can show you around and you will know not to be ashamed and that this is all on your ex and your mum and stepdad. Horrible people. You are an excellent mum saving yourself and your kids from a future with these people in it. So proud of you!!!

Thanks so much for the update OP. Glad to hear your accommodation is ok and the other mums and kids are friendly.

You have been IMMENSELY brave and put your kids first in all of this. No one here underestimates how hard it is to up and leave, after years of brain washing to always do what he wants.

So your heart and your head will be out of step for a while, until they get realigned. But remember you are doing this for the kids ( as well as you), so you all have a happier and safer future.

I know you will have so many concerns and worries right now, but hopefully your support worker will be able to address these over the next few days.

Fabulous to hear that you have all arrived safely and settled in and even started chatting to some of the other women. They will all know how you are feeling with the up and down emotions and guilt.

@Graphista you can purchase kindle books on an iPhone. You just need to log in to Amazon via safari rather than the app.

Will see what I can do kindle/book wise :) to be honest id take quiet boring evenings alone than sat with him every single night like it was before so! wishing I'd packed our old laptop so that we could atleast watch dvds in the room on an evening. But maybe after my first UC payment I can buy a cheap portable dvd player or something, or an aerial to make the Tele better. I don't even know what happens to my UC claim now, assuming I have to change my circumstances. Il ask on Monday. X

Also have no idea what I'm gonna do about food shopping because you're not allowed food deliveries and I don't drive! Do you think a taxi driver would take me to a Asda click and collect slot then drive me back? Otherwise it's gonna be constant coop trips which will cost a fortune x

First world problem too...there's no radiators!! There's one elec heater, so sharing that in the evening between the two bedrooms. It's all going to take alot of getting used to..wishing I'd done this in summer now lol!