Social media stalking?

[alm23x]

Hi, it's my first post here so be kind!! Lol. Also still learning all the abbreviations so go easy on me with your replies 😂

Basically I'm just wondering how much interest your partners / SO's take in your social media posts - whether this be what you share, pictures, statuses, just in general?
For example - how many likes you get, how often you post, who likes your things, who follows you etc.

I've been thinking about what trackers could be on here. I've deleted Snapchat and plan to delete the Facebook app as I know sometimes that has location services on.

Do I let the kids call and talk to him this evening just so they've had one last contact? They don't know about tomorrow. X

Are the kids asking to speak to him ?

He could call them if he was so desperate for contact. Don't give him a chance to get into your head.

I would turn off location (GPS) entirely on your phone OP.

OP congratulations in escaping your Mothers stupidity ... she has nobody to blame but herself... you need to go no contact for now..

with regards your DH and the kids..... please.. no more contact... you have been advised this for a very good reason.. safety of yourself and your kids.. he's using the kids to control you.. so do not contact him.

Your location is a safe one... safe for you.. your kids... and the other women and children there.... you must not disclose your location to anyone...

OP.. I wish you the very best of luck wherever you end up... please take this time to relax and to find some peace.. find You

I wouldn't, unless they're asking to speak to him.

Your dc's contact with him will be sorted in the future, this is just a short-term break . Please be guided by the refuge, they're the experts.

Yep I wouldn’t ring him at all to be honest it’s quite clear he doesn’t give a shit about them.

I wouldn't call him unless the kids are really struggling with not speaking to them. He was offered a time to call them and didn't take it. He owes them a call, not the other way round.

Oh I’m so pleased and excited for you!

NOW your life can start to improve

With regard to following your gut instinct, bear in mind that it won't always be 'right' because, other than laws, there are no rules. So all the emotional stuff, we just eyeball it.

Gut instinct isn't always 'right' but it is always you, and that's all anybody, including yourself, can ever want from you. Your authentic self. Full on, 100% Alm23x, exactly as you are.

Thank you so much everyone 💞 I did let them call him, because DD7 had asked and I felt like that would be something I regret. Also gonna let her send a quick message to her nana. My mum hasn't stopped crying all night. I think she's also apprehensive that when he realises I'm uncontactable, he's gonna flip at her house. Can't believe this is all happening, I know I'm going to feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders as soon as I'm there though. I've got quite a few suitcases as I was quite organised when coming to my mum's. Do I take it all?? I feel like rocking up with 3 suitcases and 4 bags for life is a bit extreme ?? X

Take it all. It's so much easier than worrying about what you've not got.

So you’re out already

Why is your mum turning on the waterworks?

No guesses as to why you fall for manipulation eh?

She wanted you to go,
You’re going

She wanted you to negotiate with him despite knowing what you’re going through

Now she’s scared he’s going to come and cause trouble for her (as opposed to you)?

Can she not see how fucked up this all is.

@alm23x I will give one piece of very strong advice

DO NOT GIVE YOUR ADDRESS TO HER FOR NOW. She can’t give him what she doesn’t have.

And you have to go no contact with him and with her too if necessary. She’s showing you that you’re not what she’s worried about. Not what she’s wanting to protect

Please just buy yourself space and time from everything and everyone and things will slot into place when you have the strength, the resources and the support

False move now and you could endanger your roof over your heads, or your or your family’s Safety .

Things won’t be like this forever, but right now you need peace, space and safety.

What she’s doing is the opposite of what a caring mum does.

Would you treat your dc like this?

No. You would not.

Can you call them and ask what/how much to bring? They'll know how much space there is and what facilities/products you can share with others.

I don't think they'll be expecting you to show up with just a toothbrush and a pair of socks, though - you've got kids!

@alm23x you're going to the refuge tomorrow? And your mum knows, and you're staying at her house tonight?
If that's the case please be very careful. I hope she wouldn't tell him. But given all your comments about her previous attitude I don't think many on here would be surprised if she somehow did "thinking it was for the best".
Please, if he turns up at your mum's house tonight to stop you, don't delay calling 999.

Yes 999 without any hesitation

Please?

Yes I'm at her house tonight and yes she knows I'm going tomorrow but she doesn't know where it is, and I won't be telling her. If she was to tell him anything tonight and he turned up, I would never EVER forgive her. I would like to think she wouldn't do that, as I've really explained the importance of what's happening. But yes, I would call 999 without a doubt x

I think your brand new, independent life starts tomorrow, Alm. For the first time, you will be free of abusers in your daily life, and surrounded by people who understand and support you. You've created this situation for yourself, and all from a thread about whether he was looking at your social media too much, less than a week ago. I can't believe it's less than a week, I feel like I've been rooting for you for months!

oh, so now she is scared in case he kicks of at HER, but while its only you and the kids getting the aggression its all fine and dandy.

Take everything you can to the refuge, you will be transferring from there into your new house, and 3 suitcases is a perfectly fine amount.

Going no contact will be fine. You and the kids will flourish and they will support you once the time is right to move forward with a safe contact arrangement. Chances are he is only using the kids as an excuse to contact you anyway.

And good luck xx

oh, so now she is scared in case he kicks of at HER, but while its only you and the kids getting the aggression its all fine and dandy.

completely agree ...

your Mums is only thinking of herself... nothing new there

good luck OP ... 🌺

Good luck OP!

I'd leave earlier than originally planned tomorrow just in case.

@Eckhart, I posted this thread nearly a month ago I think, but it's been a week since I left. Fastest week of my life! You've been posting on here from the start and have always been so amazing! I remember your early comments making me so emotional and they set a fire off in my belly I think! I will be forever grateful and I hope you know that x

Need to start sorting myself out for tomorrow. Have repacked bags, just got a bag of toys to sort tomorrow as I'm gonna leave loads here. New phone charging, gonna put the kettle on and then try figure out the new SIM...haven't been pay as you go since I was about 13 😂. Have sent my best friend a message saying il be dropping off the radar, but I'm safe and il call her when I can. Need to figure out how to make my phones as safe as possible location wise. I'm deffo not gonna be sleeping tonight so I've got plenty of time lol xx

Good luck with tomorrow and settling into the refuge. You’ve taken such a huge step towards the rest of your lovely life 💐