Social media stalking?

[alm23x]

Hi, it's my first post here so be kind!! Lol. Also still learning all the abbreviations so go easy on me with your replies 😂

Basically I'm just wondering how much interest your partners / SO's take in your social media posts - whether this be what you share, pictures, statuses, just in general?
For example - how many likes you get, how often you post, who likes your things, who follows you etc.

he's losing control of you ... this is where he could lash out.. thank goodness you are at your Mums 🌺

do not engage... stay silent .. and keep everything he texts ⭐️

Well done OP! Absolutely amazed at your speed, resolve and progress! I've done similar and looking back the only thing I regret massively is engaging in any way except for arrangements for children. Please don't agree to Facetime and endless calls to the children. I did this for a year, it was his only a way to check up on me. Be fair and resolute! Give it a week or two and let things settle down. Glad you have the UC application started sooner rather than later. Now it's time for

It's been a very long time coming, I first tried to leave well over a year ago..and I've always said "il plan it and do it properly" but my friend and some ladies on here made me realise you can't always plan these things and sometimes you have to just jump and figure it out as you go. Glad you're on the other side, you must be feeling happier!

Do you have joint savings or any joint bank accounts? If you do, remove at least half the money from each one into your own account.

Do you have your own bank account? If not, open one.

Are there any bills in your name for the house or anything else?

Much happier!!! It's great to be your own boss and not adjust your behaviour to someone every day, walk on eggshells, parenting even. You've got this!!!

We are back at the sob stories again this morning. Changed his profile pic on Facebook to one of me and him (??) "..I love you, I don't want anyone else, youre beautiful, I will do anything etc."

We do have a joint bank but I'm not removing any money out of that because that's bill money so don't feel right taking money that's paying our November bills. Our help to buy account has money in but that's in his name and I have no access. Although I suspect there's only about £400 in it anyway as we had to take lots out to fix the car

Don’t listen to the sob stories - too little too late imo. Try to keep busy today with all your arrangements and hopefully the day will be less stressful and pass quicker.

Definitely not falling for it, it's not even pulling at my heart strings a little bit. I genuinely feel cold towards him which I know could change in time x

Ask him for the money from the help to buy account. He is more likely to give it to you now than once he turns angry. You need it more than him. You have children to feed and no job.

Do not respond to any messages. He is trying to get you to engage.

UC application going well, had a phonecall appt with them today and got another tomorrow and then that's sorted for first payment to be 24th Dec. Viewing a house tomorrow and have two other potentials I'm waiting on calls back from. Calling a lady back tomorrow about help with a deposit and some living money until the UC kicks in.. Lots to keep busy with as I want a house asap! Plus UC told me if I don't move out by 17th Dec, any help with rent etc for that won't be in my bank until 24th Jan as it will have missed the cut off for Dec pay. Mums happy to be my guarantor so just gotta hope something comes out of these viewings.

Yehah!!!!!!!!!! I am so impressed!!!!!!!!! I wanna do a cheerleader dance with Pom poms!!!!

Good morning op,

Glad to hear you are doing ok. Just posting really to check in and let you know we're all behind you.
Your doing great, things will come together.

Thank you xx

Morning Alm!

I love you, I don't want anyone else, youre beautiful, I will do anything etc

Ew. He's hoovering. It's quite revolting. And it never ceases to amaze me how predictable narcissists are.

It's good to hear that your heartstrings aren't twanging away to his tune anymore, and cold is right. He deserves cold. You have warmth and support elsewhere in your life.

It's getting a bit boring reading them now...I've built him up to kill him etc. He can't cope. He's scared. Please can he come pick me up and take me home.

I hope he comes to some acceptance soon.

A little too late for fake promises you’ve got this OP!

"I will try and pick th kids up about 11. Then you can go and plan your future and go skipping down the street singing how happy you are to be free of a monster"

Here come the digs...

have you got someone with you to do the handover?

Yes, my mum is here

I mean he's not wrong in that message

Hope all goes well with the handover

You’ve got to laugh at him really! He’s predictable and pathetic. Stay strong. You owe him nothing. Everything that is happening is because of his dreadful behaviour. He’s reaping what he’s sown..

Then you can go and plan your future and go skipping down the street singing how happy you are to be free of a monster

Good lord that's accurate.

"I will try and pick th kids up about 11. Then you can go and plan your future and go skipping down the street singing how happy you are to be free of a monster"

Um...yeh though

Must be so tempting to respond to that message with a 'glad that you understand and are seeing the truth now. The children will see you at 11.'

Hey Alm, just wanted to let you know that I think you're awesome and incredibly brave. You've absolutely done the right thing.

No doubt he told you all these things when you tried to leave before and nothing ever changed, he's used up all his chances now.

Keep calm and cool and stand your ground - you've proved how strong you are, don't look back now, keep moving forward. You've got this and we're all be behind you.

@alm23x

He told me that he told our mutual couple friends that we were going through a bad patch and apparently they said they see it from both sides & they've noticed I do things that provoke/don't help situations....he said he didn't ask them for specific examples of what I do....and said it's best I don't ask the friends as it will just make things awkward....it's played on my mind ever since he said it...I mean, if I'm doing things that aren't helping - I want to know! Would you ask her and risk making things awkward / putting her on the spot? Part of me thinks he made it up?

I shouldn’t laugh but he definitely made that up. And can up with lamest of reasons for not following it. Like when in P4 I went round to a friends house to see her puppy but wasn’t allowed to mention it There wasn't a puppy and his friends haven’t noticed things you do. I very much doubt he’s even told rh.