Social media stalking?

[alm23x]

Hi, it's my first post here so be kind!! Lol. Also still learning all the abbreviations so go easy on me with your replies 😂

Basically I'm just wondering how much interest your partners / SO's take in your social media posts - whether this be what you share, pictures, statuses, just in general?
For example - how many likes you get, how often you post, who likes your things, who follows you etc.

Struggling with not explaining myself to him!

Oh there may be suicide threats too. If he says he's going to do something to himself - phone police/ military whatever to do a 'safe and well' check.

Not saying he WILL threaten this - but forewarned is forearmed.

It's something controlling/abusive men say when they realise they've lost control - to make you go flying back to them.

@alm23x

Struggling with not explaining myself to him!

That is why not speaking to him helps.

Please stay strong you have not gone through all of this on a whim - read back through this thread to remind you of how you were feeling days ago and what bought you to your mums. Don’t get into a debate or offer explanations with him just try to stay cool and objective - easier said than done I know. You can do this 💐💐

He said I sound cold and like I don't care

That's what happens when you speak to someone you've been abusing for years. It's exactly how anybody with boundaries would sound.

Hold your nerve. Don't discuss. Don't explain. It doesn't matter what he thinks. If you can, stop contact altogether, now. Stop responding. He will just make it harder and harder for you, and there's no need whatsoever for you to go through that, on top of everything else.

Thanks everyone. Limiting contact. Apparently I'm awful for making him have to live a life without his kids and he's gonna hav to watch another man (?!) Raise them etc. I'm not rising to any of these digs because I think that's what he wants. He's gone quiet now

His dad's wife is now calling me, think I'm just gonna write out a very simple text to reply to any of his family's should they contact me

Struggling with not explaining myself to him - that's because you've spent your life explaining yourself to him. You don't need to do that any more. You shouldn't do it.

You don't need to answer to his family either.

@alm23x

His dad's wife is now calling me, think I'm just gonna write out a very simple text to reply to any of his family's should they contact me

Ignore the flying monkeys.

There will possibly be messages soon of his illness or something.

His family are his flying monkeys. Do not reply or answer their calls either. It doesn't matter what you say at this point. None of them will listen to reason unless you are telling them what they want to hear ... that you will return to him.

DARVO.

He's going to tell his family and possibly other people that you've left him and he's the victim.

Stay strong OP

Thanks everyone x

Ps, I should add that I bloody love his family and they're all very lovely. They're going to obviously be helping him and supporting him but I also know they see things and theyl know why I've done this. X

I was quite fond of the in laws but exh was relentless. I took them all off Facebook immediately. That made me really sad but had to be done or I'd have no privacy 😢

I think il have to do the same eventually and take them off. For now, theres nothing on my Facebook that I need to be private but eventually as time moves on I won't want things being reported back.

The reporting back was exactly the problem and actually I cared enough about them to not want them put in that position by exh

@alm23x well done! You are so strong x

How are you doing @alm23x

"your world is spinning, but only for a moment. ground your soul in your body and remind yourself that this too shall pass. Your emotions will subside, your sensations will relax. And you will be as you always were, a divine light of energy and in love with your life once more"

This quote just appeared on my Instagram feed and I've read it over and over. This too shall pass. Il be in love with my life again soon. No more making jokes about being antisocial to my friends..."you know me, just antisocial!" When actually I was bailing because I knew it wouldn't be worth the explaining and the aggro.

I'm doing really well. My mum thinks il have a bit of a breakdown in a couple days because I'm feeling very numb at the minute. Not really eating but she's forcing little bits down me and supplying me with lots of sugary cuppas. Cried a bit with the kids earlier but that's it. I just feel very productive and matter of fact.

UC application going well, had a phonecall appt with them today and got another tomorrow and then that's sorted for first payment to be 24th Dec. Viewing a house tomorrow and have two other potentials I'm waiting on calls back from. Calling a lady back tomorrow about help with a deposit and some living money until the UC kicks in.. Lots to keep busy with as I want a house asap! Plus UC told me if I don't move out by 17th Dec, any help with rent etc for that won't be in my bank until 24th Jan as it will have missed the cut off for Dec pay. Mums happy to be my guarantor so just gotta hope something comes out of these viewings.

Sorry for the essay!

I've not been able to reply to everyone individually but thank you SO much to everyone that has rooted for me and left messages...this really has been my safe space since I posted this thread and I could not have done it without you all. To say your all a bunch of strangers on an app on my phone, you've been my cheerleaders and you don't even know me, I wish I could give you all a big (virtual) hug!

❤️

This too shall pass one of my mantras - works everytime😊. Look at how productive you’ve been arranging things independently - you are a strong amazing lady ❤️

Now he's demanding to know what's made me change, what's brought it all on, why so fast, he feels let down that I hadn't told him so that he could address it before I got to this point. I just keep saying "text me tomorrow RE seeing the children"

Obsessed with knowing who knew/who knows...what I'd said to the kids school...what I'd said to my job. I think he thought I was bluffing when I said I'd pulled the kids out and handed my notice in