Social media stalking?

[alm23x]

Hi, it's my first post here so be kind!! Lol. Also still learning all the abbreviations so go easy on me with your replies 😂

Basically I'm just wondering how much interest your partners / SO's take in your social media posts - whether this be what you share, pictures, statuses, just in general?
For example - how many likes you get, how often you post, who likes your things, who follows you etc.

Remember don't tell him anything just keep things normal with him until things are set in stone

Good luck, hope you can stay with your Mum

I've told my mum. Her response was a bit strange...I had to do it over text because I her told her I would call her at 8 and needed to talk and then she wouldn't stop calling me. Kids are around so I wrote it all in a message. She replied saying "leave it with me, call you at 8, love you" I thought she wouldve been emotional and atleast ask if I was okay! I didn't go into details though - just that things are bad and I'm leaving. I'm hoping to leave tomorrow depending on what she says when she calls me later.

Women's aid offered me a refuge and that's when I realised just how bad this is. I said no - because I feel I have other options and there could be another woman who is in more need than me...but it just shocked me that I was being offered that and how serious all this is. Had two of my friends here all day listening to me cry and they've really built me up and made me see I can't keep putting it off and how awful things will feel if I sit on these feelings until January..I need to do this now.

None whatsoever... I don't post a great deal at all. My boyfriend certainly doesn't seem to check how many likes I get etc.

You are an amazing, strong lady so glad that you’re putting things in place sooner rather than later. I’m sure the phone call will be ok and she was probably expecting it. Good luck with your new life💐

I don't feel strong right now, I feel terrified! When do I start to put a claim in for benefits? When I have got to my mum's? When do I contact a estate agent? My head is so fried

Bloody hell.Just thought I'd drop by your thread to see if you've thought any more about talking to your Mum... You've been very busy and so brave. I'm so glad you've got some support in real life.

Is it possible that your Mum has already had a strong sense of what's been going on, so it's not a surprise to her? Perhaps she's been hoping you'd make that call to her for some time?

One thing at a time. First priority is to get safe.

Get to your mums ASAP.

Then, speak with school, joint bank account? Benefits advice (CAB?), estate agents.

Keep talking with women's aid who will guide you through the steps, your rights, who can help you practically etc.

Keep talking with your lovely friends who will support and love you. They've got your back.

Once you feel a little more in control you can tell your ex you've left and that you'll be unavailable to see/speak with him until x date. You will get the DC to call him at x time each evening.

It might be worth telling military welfare team what's happening, so they can help in case he tries to harass you.

Eckhart I think it helped how harsh my friends were with me today. In the nicest way - but they were straight talking and hard on me. I knew I had to tell my mum now while I'm in this frame of mind or I would talk myself back out of it. I feel like I'm in a state of shock that I've actually done it and I just want 8pm to hurry up now so I can call her and actually make some kind of plan.

I don't feel strong right now

Probably because you just did a very strong thing. Have a breather and go floppy for a bit! Get to your Mum's. That's all you have to do in the next couple of days. Just get away from where he lives. Worry about the other questions later. You don't have to do everything right now. Your head will feel less fried once you're away.

Thank you for your advice :) definitely going to get in touch with the military welfare team either tomorrow or Thursday. Just incase I need them, il know that first call has been made. And theyl have on file that he made a call in July to access help for himself too, which should Futher help my "case" against why I'm leaving.

You probably are in a state of shock. A couple of days ago you started a thread about him looking at your social media, and now you're leaving him!

You've got good friends, though. You are so utterly doing the right thing.

Thank you Eckhart, as usual. You've been so amazing. Wouldn't have been able to get to this point without this thread x

@alm23x you have been so strong. Keep going. You've got this!

Thank you Tulip! I really hope I'm strong enough to see this through this time x

Ok so your husband is controlling and that's a form of abuse.

Oops I'm late to the party,
Well done OP. You can do this! You deserve better

Thank you xx

You ARE being strong just one step at a time and you’re about to take the biggest, hardest step Well done you and good luck with your mum at 8.

OP I've just sat and read your thread.

You are so strong. You deserve a man you loves you, roots for you and holds you up, not one who drags you down.

There will never be a perfect time but just remember, once you leave, the day after is the first day of the rest of your life and the sooner you can start to rebuild.

I hope your chat with your mum is going ok. Please listen to your friends and women’s aid. You need to get out. Sitting this out for a few months is not a good plan. You’d be allowing yourself to be abused. You deserve better. You’ve been so strong today. You should be proud of the steps you’ve taken towards a better life.

Don't forget all important documents when you leave. He might turn nastier and withhold all things from you after you've left. Take screen shots of his bank statements so you know his income to tell the CMS. Get al the kids documents and passports and birth certificates etc.
Good luck Alm. I'm rooting for you

I've done it. I'm going. Tomorrow evening after my step dad has finished work he's coming to get me. I didn't really talk much to my mum - she's emotional and really sad so me and my step dad spoke it through. I didn't even have to give them specifics or examples which shocked me...they said they've seen things and feel tensions when they come here and that they're hurt but not suprised. I've handed my notice in and spoken to my manager on the phone. I've emailed an estate agent and explained my situation and asked if they have anything suitable for when my benefits start (il be applying tomorrow night when I'm settled at my mum's). I've sorted out a dog sitter for tomorrow night so that I don't have to take the dog to my mum's (he's my baby but my mum and stepdad are anti dog, and I'm not gonna push my luck because I'm already moving back with two kids which I know is huge). I've got six hours while the kids are at school tomorrow to get packed and sorted. I cannot believe I've done this.

I'm now panicking about what I need to pack. My friends just came round to help me get up into th rafters of the garage to get down suitcases. It's going to take me ages to locate some paperwork as I'm not very organised lol. Trying to think what sentimental things I need to take incase he goes mad, I have visions of him smashing things up or something. Im heartbroken that all my baby pictures of the kids are on his laptop, that he's got with him, but I hope that one day he would give me access to them. My contract is in his name and goes out of his bank so I'm taking a spare old phone and charger incase he demands it back.