He turned his Instagram "Activity Status" off

[ParanoidOrDetective]

I know this may be petty, but here goes..

Little back history.. been together nearly 3 years. I'm pregnant with our first DC, due in March.
I am quite an untrusting/anxious/paranoid person in a relationship due to literally all my exes being cheating scumbags. It's turned me into someone who is always proactively on the look our for red flags. I know it's no way to live and it can be mentally exhausting.

DP has never previously given me any reason to doubt him or suspect any wrong doing.

However, recently, within the last couple of months - he has turned off his "activity status" on Instagram. Off all the friends I have on Instagram, only a small handful have turned this function off. I can no longer see when he is online on Instagram or when he was last online.

I don't understand why he would choose to turn this function off? He has not turned the function off on Facebook or WhatsApp, so it can't be that he's bothered about people being able to see when he's online on all platforms - he's only hiding when he is on Instagram.

When we got together, he had deleted all his ex girlfriends pics from his Instagram account, but he had accidentally left her tagged in some generic landscape pics so I was able to view her profile. At the time we got together, her profile was deactivated. I know it's crazy, but I search her every so often, and low and behold, over the past month or so, her Instagram account has been reactivated. Neither he or her follow each other, but I know you don't have to follow each other to be able to privately message each other.

I spoke to a friend yesterday and she said it's probably a coincidence, and not to think too much into him turning off his "activity status", although she couldn't think of any real reason why he would suddenly turn it off - best reason she could come up with is that he uses Instagram for wank material?!

What do you think? Is this a red flag or have I finally lost the plot?
Do I ask him.. "I noticed you turned your activity status off on Instagram.. how comes?", or will this just cause an argument because he'll be pissed I'm checking up on him?

I have my online status hidden . A lot of people I know do, there’s lots of different reasons why.
If he treats you well and you’re happy with him , relax and enjoy your pregnancy . If you carry on with this obsessing over his online status, you’re going to sour your relationship. You will end up feeling compelled to ask him about it , and he will then feel like you don’t trust him which is never a positive thing in a relationship
No one enjoys feeling checked up on . I would absolutely hate it .

If you're visiting the sins of previous partners on him, then you need to stop.

Policing him and checking up on him will not stop him cheating if he's going to. It will cause massive rows, make him resentful and reinforce the damage to your own mental health and self esteem.

Sort yourself out with some counselling or therapy, stop driving yourself crazy.

Apart from all the reasons that obsessively checking his SM is a really bad idea, do you think your worrying over it has the magical power to stop him doing whatever it is you're worried about?

I would usually suggest casually asking him if you really want to know but I suspect you won't be able to ask casually. If you try to step outside yourself and look at this behaviour can't you see it is ultimately destructive? You've created a little story in your mind about your DP's dishonest behaviour when he has never done anything to suggest he is dishonest!

OP this is completely ridiculous behaviour. Give your head a wobble. Your DP has done nothing wrong here. Why are you checking the account of his ex of a few months several years ago??? It clearly was not a long term important relationship. It’s paranoid. You’ll sabotage your relationship if you’re not careful. Don’t ask him about his activity status, if a DP of mine asked me this he’d be out the door for being suspicious and creepy. I had an ex like that and it was draining and deeply unpleasant

It’s like you want to break up with him, constantly looking for a reason to do so. Just leave him if you want to, you don’t need a reason.

If you don’t want to leave him why are you trying to actively find reasons? It must be hard, this is not a personal problem I understand as I don’t do that but maybe you should seek help or come off your phone all together.