List the pros and cons of your OH

[BriocheBuns]

Hey

Debating whether or not I have a decent OH.

Thought you all could join me and list the pros and cons of yours. Mainly so I can get a sense of what a decent OH is as mines tells me I’m ungrateful! x

Pros:
Tidy to live with
Takes out the bins and recycling
Occasionally does the dishes
Does any DIY work around the house
Communicative
Chatty (Not so much with the kids)
Helps with infant
Does nappies, feeds, night duties etc
Handsome
Well kept - always looks after himself

Cons:
Doesn’t cook
Moody
Likes things done a certain way
Has a tendency to think he’s right
Tight with money
Angers quickly
Can’t see when he’s wrong
Bit lazy, doesn’t go out unless really has to
A bit entitled
Snaps when sleep is disturbed

We both work but I just feel like I do a lot more overall 🤷‍♀️

Pros:
Really good with his hands fixing things etc
Really good in bed
Sensitive and listens well
Buys me flowers every week and always wants to chat and hear about my day
Been an amazing step dad to my DD
My family really like him
Reliable and kind and very self sacrificing
A lot tidier than me
Careful and sensible with money
Has a good job and is articulate and intelligent

Cons:
Can be socially awkward
Slightly OCD
Shouty when upset/misunderstood
Not very spontaneous

Following

Pros

Does the laundry
Cooks for DC

Cons

Unemployed for a year but spends his days on Clash Royale reddit threads instead of looking for a job
Lazy (Generally, but especially with DC)
Went off sex 10 years ago
Moody
Boring
Totally useless at anything DIY related
Bad breath
Cuts toe/finger nails once every 5 yrs or so
Vile skin tag on his face he refuses to get fixed
Refuses to do any ‘life admin my
Generally, no point of him whatsoever

Pros:
Great in bed
Attractive
Very practical- can fix anything
Will help with housekeeping
Very neat and tidy
Clean and fresh always
A great dad
Good earner
Very affectionate
Great sense of humour, very witty
Loves me and would do anything for me
Told me I’m ‘perfect’ (maybe to him at least)

Cons:
Has to order exactly the same as me off a menu
Is a perfectionist, so has extremely high expectations of himself
He’s a terrible cook - just awful
He never likes to watch what I want to, so he’ll go on the ipad and browse the internet...but if he’s watching something, he likes me to sit with him and give it my full attention too
He complains about how long my showers take and how much steam is in the bathroom
His family are ‘different’ and very different to us
He is occasionally broody and keeps on about another baby

Pros

He’s not tight with money
He would lay down his life for me and DC without hesitation
Occasionally he makes me a coffee unasked

Cons

The list would be so long that it would require at least fifteen pages

Pros
Kind and caring
Listens to and emotionally supports me
Amazing step dad
Does the bits of house work I hate (would do more but I enjoy it)
Amazing dad. Has done more than his far share of feeds and night wakes for our 2 under 2.
Generous
Everything is equal money wise. It’s all family money and I never feel any pressure or worry (ex was financially abusive)
Makes me feel safe and supported
Funny
Great in bed
Always interested in my hobbies, tv show or book obsessions
Gibes me back, neck and shoulder rubs without complaint

Cons
Doesnt eat pizza
Likes cricket
Can be too laid back and naive at times

What a fucking depressing thread so far. Why are you lot wasting your life on these men?

Cons

Makes me laugh everyday
Great between the sheets
Very laid back
Never shouts
Great role model for my/our kids
Affectionate
Speaks to us all respectfully
Always tidies the kitchen
Irons
Pops to the shop to get me chocolate/gin whenever
Sweeps/mops
Goes along with whatever I want to do

Cons
Crap at DIY
Won't try and cook
Has to be persuaded to do gardening

I feel very lucky . I tell him he is my favourite husband and that if he changes I will just trade him in 😀

Pros ;
Very generous
Laid back
Good sense of humour

Cons ;
Messy beyond belief
💩 in bed
Isn't bothered about ironing his clothes (ever)
Makes unbearable noses - sounds like he's being murdered on the toilet , heavy breathing , general annoying noises .
Snores and wakes everyone up .
Thinks it's funny to fart 🤬

Just read that back , think it's the end of the road !

Pros
Ultra supportive - ALWAYS Always has my back
Very generous
Great sense of humour
Adventurous
Remembers if I tell her something annoys me 😂
Great cook
Very kind and thoughtful I.e has a cup of tea waiting when I’m coming home from work, leaves sweet notes if I’m feeling down etc
Many similar interests
Gets on with all my friends and family
Accepts my many many flaws
Great in bed
Great cuddles
Makes me feel very loved
Very honest
Good morals
I could go on and on

Cons
Leaves cupboards ajar
A tad too independent which sometimes makes me feel left behind
Not very publicly affectionate
Bit of a commitment phobe
Cat person rather than a dog person
Not great with money, has debts but she does manage them.

I’ve had dreadful, abusive relationships in the past and this is honestly a dream. There were some initial teething problems as she took a long time to commit and wasn’t verbally affectionate at all for the first 8 months or so which I struggled with but this had entirely changed.

I have put cons twice , I really should be asleep !

OP your pros list is literally someone being an adult (doing their share of chores) and coparenting (the children that are 50% created by them). That isn't a pro as such, it should be absolutely the bare minimum!

Pros
Incredibly supportive, caring and interested in me
Does all the cooking and cleans up after himself (we have a cleaner to do the big jobs)
Kind to everyone and everything
Good manners, good morals and no gross habits
Generous and financially stable and responsible
Funny, easy going and generally very upbeat and nice to be around
Intelligent, has a PhD and a very good job
Good in bed and very affectionate
Not needy or demanding
Good conversationalist
Adores my dogs and is amazing with them
Attractive, tall, good personal hygiene
Fit and outdoorsy and likes to get out and do stuff
Rubs my feet and back any time I ask
Practical and good at DIY
Has good friends who are also decent people
His family are lovely and he gets on really well with them without it being too much
Discusses things rationally, is never moody, huffy or manipulative
Does things without being asked
Absolutely adores me and would do anything for me

Cons
Loves to watch geeky sci-fi stuff on Netflix
Can't really say no to me which I sometimes need

Honestly my cons list would be much longer than his! I'm very lucky. It took me until my late 30s to find him though and I've had a few relationships along the way where the cons list turned out to far outweigh the pros.

Pros:
Very selfless
Very generous to everyone
Listens
Good communication
Great With my DD
Willing to help anyone
A giver in bed
Hard worker
Family man
Good looking
Puts up with my mood swings
Trust worthy and loyal
Family love him
Not tight with money at all but
Will clean and cook-needs a bit of a nudge

Cons
Needs nudged to clean and cook
Can be a bit messy and probably doesn’t clean to my standard
Sees the best in everyone which can lead him to being taken advantage off
Loves drinking wine infront of me while I’m pregnant :(

Honestly I’m probably the c*nt in the relationship lol my mum tells me all that time to get off his back and treat him better. Swear think she likes him more then me lol

Pros
Makes me feel safe
Amusing
Intellectual
Excellent Father
Empathetic
Earns a good wage
Excellent diy skills
Well mannered
Good with animals
Makes decent tea and coffee

Cons
Sleeps with his eyes open
Gets lost in thought rather a lot
Likes hanging on to old tat , in case it’s useful, he has 3 sheds.

Plus will rub my head and feet anytime I ask lol moans a bit about it but still does it lol

Pros-
Hard worker
Tidy
Enjoys cooking
Takes out the bins/recycling
A giver in bed
Gives the best back tickles ever 😂

Cons-
Likes things his way
Thinks he’s right 24/7
Quite a pessimistic person generally
Tight with money

Pros:
Makes me laugh numerous times a day
Is a great dad to our animals
Great at DIY and all things cars
Very ambitious and hardworking
Very thoughtful (but in unusual ways)
Does the washing up
Very nice to look at
Great in bed at both sex and snuggles

Cons:
Easily annoyed
Messier than he'll ever admit
Spends too much time on his phone (always work related)
Farts a lot

Some of these cons should really be dealbreakers

Pros
Makes me laugh a lot
Love the way he thinks and getting a different perspective
We chat all the time
He smells gorgeous
He fits me perfectly in bed
He doesn't indulge in ruminating or worrying and I'm a worrier so its helpful
He does loads round the house and is tidy
He can get stains out of anything
He irons - i don't

Cons
Easily distracted and sometimes meanders off topic when I'm trying to talk about something important
Not very demonstrative of affection
A bit rigid in how he likes things organised
Doesnt always consult me about plans so I get a fait accompli which is annoying

Pros

Supported me when I had to leave my jobs and while I was setting up a new business
Looks after me when I'm unwell
Always buys me treats or a snack when he goes to go the shops
Looked after my cat on his own for eighteen months before I could move in with him properly
Then allowed me to get two more cats and a dog
Brings me coffee in bed
Covers my weekend dog walks for me sometimes when I need a day off and doesn't complain about it
Makes me laugh everyday
Puts up with my shit TV shows
Indulges my love of Disney and any programme involving animals
He's there for me when it matters the most and I can rely on him 100%

Cons

He's a bit messy
Leaves crumbs on the counters
Makes me watch YouTube videos about mountain bikes, talks to me non stop about mountain bikes...
Sometimes thinks his hobby is the most important thing but will listen if I say he really needs to be home for other things instead
He does witter a lot

Pros
Great dad
Good company, makes me laugh
Great in bed
Gorgeous
Always clean
Generous
Makes me lots of cups of tea
Runs most of the errands
Cuts the grass
Trustworthy

Cons
Forgetful
Addictive personality (now teetotal) but extends to other things, computer games, etc.

@Aquamarine1029 for me personally, the reality is that divorce would mean taking DC out of their fantastic private school. I'm prepared to sacrifice my own happiness for theirs.

I get that Edwin although my DD continued in her private school after I divorced - it was part of the financial agreement and if you can both afford to send your children there I don't see why that would change?