List the pros and cons of your OH

[BriocheBuns]

Hey

Debating whether or not I have a decent OH.

Thought you all could join me and list the pros and cons of yours. Mainly so I can get a sense of what a decent OH is as mines tells me I’m ungrateful! x

Pros:
Tall and manly build
Kept his lockdown beard when I said I liked it.
Good at DIY
Intelligent
Up on his current affairs
Good moral code
When I ask him for help with something he never says no
Has some of the same interests as me.
Good cook
Good in bed and very selfless.
Lovely kisser and very affectionate.
Quick witted and makes me laugh like a drain at some of his comments
Good at teaching me new stuff and not condescending or mansplaining.
The kindest man I've ever known.

Cons:
Not confident in bed thanks to ex-wife telling him he was "shit at sex". (he's not).
Has absolutely no shame when or where he farts. Takes a "better out than in" approach.
Doesn't like eggs - weirdo.
Has a massively different taste in home decor than I do - we don't yet live together.
Bit too touchy-feely at times.
Bit messy.

I have always found that the cons list grows the longer you have been with someone.

Pros:
Pretty good looking (still attracted to him)
Makes good money and usually generous with it
Good kisser
Good dress sense
We like the same TV and music
Good cook

Cons:
Controlling
Emotionally abusive/a bully
Doesn't speak to my family
His family are nuts and a lot of work
Doesn't do much housework
He wants more kids and I don't

Bloody hell When I write it all down it's fucked up.

Pros:
Good cook
Doesn't mind doing the laundry
Supportive
Has a positive outlook
Makes me laugh
Does fair share of housework and childcare
Kind
Lots of interests
Knowledgeable but not condescending

Cons:
Lazy when it comes to DIY and gardening
Sarcastic
Too easy to convince when I suggest we get a takeaway

Pros:
Great dad - totally involved in our sons life which I love
Generous and giving
Kind
Really funny (although I'd never him this lol) makes me laugh every day
Does DIY
Handsome
Willing to experiment in the bedroom
Was really great when our son was newborn and I was struggling with adjusting.
Works so hard to provide and give us an amazing life.

Cons:
Have to ask several times to do things (taking out rubbish, mowing grass etc) then he moans that I nag
Doesn't clean his Toothpaste & shaving mess off the sink
Rarely cooks - and only does when I mention that he never cooks
Not affectionate and only will be (briefly) if I mention it
Can be very closed off
Stubborn
Hates and will do his utmost avoid 'heart to heart' type conversations, makes me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes!
Farts like a trooper

I'm guessing none of you saw the Friends episode that covered this.

@dudsville

I'm guessing none of you saw the Friends episode that covered this.

Well yes, not the most pleasant way to define someone. I’d be very hurt.

I recall a poster found a Pro/ Con list her husband had made about her. She was very hurt. All the pps piled in on him.

Pros
Tall and sexy(at least to me)
Intelligent
Good in bed
Loves my cooking, even the basic stuff
Similar sense of humour to mine
Generous
Fantastic at DIY
High earner
Good dad

Cons
Obsessed with cars
Not very empathetic
Coming home later recently so I’m doing all the weekday dinners

PROS
Puts up with me*
Generous
Handsome
Not bald
Very, very straightforward
Good with the kids
Good with housework
Likes animals

CONS
His fish phobia means I can never cook/eat fish at home. I love fish
Has the worst smelling poo - it smells like a pig farm🤢
Always has to play devils advocate and argue the toss, about everything🙄

Pros
Great dad
Finances all equal and we have equal say in what gets spent even though I earn a fraction of his earnings.
More than pulls his weight round the house.
Kind, caring and clearly adores his family.
Supportive and appreciative of what I do for the home and family.
Good at cuddles and back rubs.

Cons
Buries his head in the sand and is terrible at communicating if there's a problem. Will just claim everything's fine if I raise something.
Not interested in sex.
So laid back that it can come across as him having no passion or enthusiasm for anything, our relationship included

Pros:
Can't think of any lol

Cons:
Messy
Blasts Instagram stories really loud
Wants to eat steak everyday (eugh)
Says he doesn't want carbs but then helps himself from my plate when I have pasta even though I asked him if he wants pasta
Is loud generally in the house
We don't like the same tv programmes so we watch things separately
He is always too hot even in winter he sweats in the bed
He has a massive back and very broad shoulders and every time he twists and turns in the bed, I feel like his going to crush me with his sweaty body

But I do love him 😍

@dudsville

I'm guessing none of you saw the Friends episode that covered this.

Well, my DH certainly isn't Rachem

But he knows all his "cons" - he admits to them all too!

Pros
Kind
Funny
Generous
Thoughtful
Loves me, DD and the Dcats
Does at least his share around the house, probably more than, and most of the gardening
Works more hours than me at a more stressful job so I could downgrade, be there for DD around school and be less stressed
Is an awesome SIL for my parents, tirelessly patient, thoughtful and kind
Loves to plan holidays and is very good at it ( this is a bit wasted atm)
Very good at acknowledging when he's wrong or has made a mistake

Cons
Appears to believe that the dishwasher can only be opened after 6pm
Tunes me out
A bit grumpy when stressed
Likes to tell me about cricket

I've explained clearly that his contract only has one exit option and he won't be available for anything else after that's been exercised 😁 he's stuck with me. I've definitely got the better deal of the two of us.

Pros:
Puts me and the DC first
Very hands on with childcare
Very caring
Hard working
Makes me laugh (and laughs at my jokes)
Makes me feel confident
Helps me through any difficulties
Buys me chocolate

Cons:
Windy
Forgets that not everyone is interested in things he finds fascinating and tends not to notice other people's eyes glazing over when he gives a detailed description of a project he's working on when all they asked was 'what have you been up to then'
Buys me chocolate!

Pros:

-Hard working
-Funny
-Like his own space and respects that I do too
-Ambitious and will succeed in whatever he does

• meticulous planner
• deep thinker and intelligent
• outside of lockdown, has appropriate friend/drinking time. Doesn't take the piss with the pub (anymore).
• good with money
• Similar music taste
• I 100% trust him to not have an affair
• We share the same future plans
• We share the same values about children
• Does his share of housework
• 10/10 For looks I think he is

Cons

• could be better in bed, is average
• from that, too large a penis to ever have a quickie
• can be selfish and obsessive about work
• below average at cooking but will try
• can be snappy if things are not his way
• can be tight sometimes with money
• don't share the same TV interests
• don't share the same interests about the world and current affairs as I do, he expects me to just update him semi-frequently on what's going on in the world.
• dosnt take initiative with small house tasks
• the biggest of all : shit at DIY

I love him lots

Pros

Extremely kind & thoughtful
Generous
Loyal
Looks after me
Does almost all the cooking and is good at it
Does his share of the cleaning/laundry
Does more than his share of grocery shopping

Handy round the house
Great in bed
Cat person
Close to his family
Makes a real effort with my friends
Good communicator

Cons

Can be a bit messy
Sometimes too optimistic when realism is required
Let's his DSis dominate him a bit
Takes his tea very weak(!)

I think I'll keep him, but we'll have to work on the tea thing

Pros:

Supports himself
Kind & generous
Does not letch after other women, IRL or online
Positive general outlook
Amusing
Intelligent
Good at fixing things
Compatible sexually
Strong character

Cons:

Can be irritable & stroppy, dismissive & patronising
A bit messy
Imo spends too much impulsively & we end up with too much tat in house (but tbf doesnt overspend)
Sometimes the jokes are toooo cheesy

@Gilda152 DH has lost his high salary job and given his age (52) is unlikely to find another. I'm also well paid and we have savings which, when combined with my salary, mean we can put them through until 18. If we divorced, the cost of splitting the house and buying two more would rule that out. There is also the potential for me to have to pay spousal maintenance which would impact on my disposable income. I agree it's a mess though.

Pros:-
Cooks
Cleans
Spoils me rotten
Adores me
Has got my best interests at heart
Always has my back
Superb in bed and is a considerate lover
Is very particular about personal hygiene

Cons:-
Thinks he's better at DIY than he actually is
Lies unnecessarily about stupid things

Pro’s

Generous
Does more than 50% of HW
Does 90% of Cooking
Works hard and earns well
Good dad
Great sense of humour and makes me laugh
Very Popular with everyone he meets
Still got his hair (52)
Good in bed but see below!
Sympathetic listener
Not jealous in the slightest
Gives me space when I need it and doesn’t need telling.

Cons

Really low libido so the above comment is not really that good as it’s hardly ever put to practice
Can be glass half full
Emotionally cold
Not very tactile

A lot of the cons stem from his cold parents I think.

He is a 8/10 but the lack of sex is a problem.

He would have a big list of cons about me though too I’m pretty sure and to be honest less Pro’s!

Pros

Very kind
Generous with time and money
A good talker
Open emotionally
Excellent father
Fantastic cook
Intelligent and thoughtful
Diligent at work
Handsome
Has good taste
Sees the best in people
Full of integrity
Calm
Not easily provoked

Cons

Low libido
A bit shit with housework (but so am I)
Unhealthy eating habits (me too though)
Can be negative/pessimistic
Lacks self-confide in spite of obvious ability

To be honest if the libido was sorted I would have zero complaints. I’m sure we’ll get through eventually - it feels like a relatively small thing compared to his pro list.

Pros:
Intelligent.
Ambitious.
Strives to do well.
Works hard (too hard in my opinion, which is why we have little time as a couple!).
A good father.
Good cook.

Cons:
Disorganised (causes lots of arguments!)
Messy.
Lacks empathy.
Sex not great.
Rarely compliments me.
Doesn’t do much in terms of housework.

Pros

Kind
Lovely to the dogs
Makes a way bigger financial contribution than me which allows me to work part time
Easy going
Will always go to the shop whenever I ask him (he likes going)
Deals with bins
Does more than his fair share of poop scooping
Very attractive (to me)
Shares similar interests to me so we have joint hobbies which I love
Let's me decorate and furnish house exactly as I want and I never consult him first to check if he likes my ideas - I just execute them

Cons

Doesn't do much around house and never cooks (but I see that as a quid pro quo for me working part time and him working 60 hours a week and I like cooking etc)
Likes some really boring TV shows
Can be a long time in the toilet
Forgetful

Cons
Drinks way too much and has a big beer belly
Takes weeks to do diy jobs
Forgets to trim his moustache - horrible to snog

Pros
Rarely actually drunk and is a lovely drunk
Does all the diy eventually
Perfect for me.

@Valkadin only 3 sheds? Mine has 5