Friend-zoned. Will he ever see me as anything more?

[TheOriginalMagratGarlik1]

My friend and I are in our late 40s. He's long term single, I'm recently separated. We've been friends for a couple of years or so through a mutual hobby.

Since mid June we've been hanging out for full days (12+ hours at a time) on a one to one basis for anywhere between 1-3 days per week. If we meet with others in our hobby club we are often the last to leave and can spend an extra hour or two chatting after everyone else has left. We've been away for weekends together doing our hobby and travelled to those places together (which has involved journeys of 10+ hours). Next week we will travel together for over 2 hours to do our hobby together (without other members of our club coming along).

In short, outside of my family he is the person I spend the most time with and yes, I've fallen for him pretty hard. In an awkward conversation a week ago I admitted my feelings for him. He looked surprised and said he hadn't thought about it.

Now, I'm well aware I simply may not be his type etc etc, but clearly I've been put in the friend-zone (and our hobby is not the type of activity where you typically look your best/sexiest). Is there realistically any chance with this one? I know he's on online dating sites (as he's entitled to do as a long term single bloke), but any ideas on how to get him to see me as a female and not just a good mate he has a laugh with? I don't need to spend time alone with him. We already do a lot of that. In addition, not sure how relevant it is, but he is ASD and not great at picking up social cues.

No-one is owed a relationship, UserABCDE12345. I think it's sensible to consider whether you can actually be happy and get your needs met in a relationship. For some people, it's worth pursuing, but there's nothing wrong in someone pulling back and going, "actually is this for me?"

Reducing contact would not be playing games, it's self preservation, it also gives you the chance to form new friendships with others who do your hobby. While you are putting all your eggs in his basket, you are risking causing yourself a lot of angst and cutting yourself off from opportunities to meet other people who may be in a position to reciprocate.
It's sensible going forward to network with others around the hobby and share your time out more evenly. Being this focussed on one person, is not a healthy situation to find yourself in, as well as exposing yourself to future upset.
You've spent that much time together that he likely takes it for granted to some degree that whatever he says, you will be there.
By diversifying, it's a win win, either you meet someone who cares, form friendships and support if things go awry with him, or he realises you mean more to him than he's admitted. Nothing to lose.

Yeah, fuck dating all these people on the spectrum. Let them be alone forever because they are such hard work. 

That's a bit over dramatic. Nobody has said that people on the spectrum should be alone forever!

The thing is though, it really is very hard work to make a NT / AS relationship flourish. If both are really open and willing it can work but why walk into a hard relationship by choice? IMO people on the spectrum are usually happier with people who 'get' them and that is likely to be someone else with the same perspective and approach. This is clearly not the case for the OP.