To be fed up

[FlorentineAz]

I’m so sick of my boyfriend’s behaviour - like some kind of under sexed teenager.

He has made it quite clear to me that he thinks my looks are a 5/10. He has told me I have a big nose and flat boobs.

He also seems to delight in telling me how attractive his friend’s girlfriends are. I have asked him time and time again not to comment on the attractiveness of other women and to save it for his male friends but he just does it again and again.

He’s like some sort of 48 year old teenager. I’ve just had enough and he’s just commented that his friends new girlfriend is very good looking. I didn’t ask him this and don’t want to know. Especially when he’s made it clear he thinks I’m not pretty.

I’ve just told him I’m fed up of his behaviour and feel like going and finding a man who actually thinks I’m attractive. Am I overreacting?

Why are you tolerating this? Dump the fucker already.

What a disgusting pig. I hope you're leaving him. You deserve so much better x

@Limeandlemon

And do tell him about the danger mouse, balding, big belly small penis thing. He utterly deserves it.

🤣🤣🤣 Yep, do it, right before you tell him to ‘do one’

I don’t despise him. I despise his behaviour and the way he repeatedly tramples over my boundaries.

I’m fed up with it. I’m fed up of fighting to maintain my self esteem.

You very clearly despise his appearance based on your description of him. And that’s fine. So dump him.

What a horrible little man

Dump him

I honestly don’t despise his appearance. I’m not ashamed of his looks. To me looks don’t matter that much. My description was an honest statement of his appearance. He’s no Brad Pitt but thinks it’s ok to criticise my appearance.

What a prick.

If he says it again just say " well you're no oil painting either" then walk away forever.

I would've dumped him the first time he criticised my looks.

You're never going to build up any self esteem while you're still with him. Dump the nasty prick, tell him why and tell him exactly what you think of HIS looks in the process, might make him think twice for the next one

To those saying I should have dumped him the first time he criticised my looks, he does it in such a way that it seems innocuous. But then it plays on your mind.

I’m going to see him tomorrow to discuss this. If he doesn’t agree to stop it, I’m going to end it.

I just don’t understand why he does this. I’ve often thought that he might deliberately be trying to bring me down.

He is. It's negging.

The chances are, if you have this chat, he'll turn it round to you being insecure, jealous and needy. If he does this, if you come away from it feeling confused and like you're in the wrong, when you get home, take out your phone and message him "Had enough, I don't want this relationship anymore, don't contact me anymore" and block.

Oh for gods sake your problem your problem is your looks, it's your weakness. You're going to talk to him and ask him to stop? Sorry but he goes g trample over your boundaries - you LET him trample over your boundaries!!!! He's treating you with utter contempt. And you're letting him.

Just stop please. And know that this is disturbing. I don't know what your parents were like and I never recommend therapy usually but you need to talk to someone. This isn't right.

No one deserves this, not even you. He's a fucking arsehole.

@category12

He is. It's negging.

The chances are, if you have this chat, he'll turn it round to you being insecure, jealous and needy. If he does this, if you come away from it feeling confused and like you're in the wrong, when you get home, take out your phone and message him "Had enough, I don't want this relationship anymore, don't contact me anymore" and block.

Wise words here. Take heed.

Christ.
Walk away, now.
He's hateful, and will grind down your self esteem until it's less than dust.

Please don't go and "discuss" it with him. Decent men don't do this sort of thing and he won't be able to change. Just tell him it's over and not to contact you any more.

This sounds awful op I'm sorry!

Honestly seen too many people like this! He won't change and if he does it will be a short lived burst after you've left his sorry ass!

Run and don't look back. He will not change xxxx

Trouble is he could stop saying it but you’ll know he’ll be thinking it. Why not dump him and find someone who thinks you’re a 10?

You've discussed it before and he carried on so what makes you think he'll stop now? Honestly the first time he said it you should have dumped him

Even if he stops saying it, you'll always know what he thinks of you

You don’t live with him? you don’t despise him just his behaviour??? It’s the vile behaviour that should make you despise him!!!
I’m mystified why this is even a relationship, don’t waste your breath on him, just dump him.

Look up negging as others have mentioned and narcissistic triangulation, that’s where a partner mentions how beautiful other women are to make you feel insecure. It’s deliberate and very insidious.

He sounds really nasty. I'd break up with him.

He has told me I have a big nose and flat boobs.

This is verbal/emotional abuse.

Am I overreacting?

No.

I completely agree with others who say this is negging. He is insulting you, knowing it will damage your self esteem and hoping it will stop you from ever realising that you can do better than this.
Relationships should enhance our lives, not be a cause of stress and upset. Being single would be a million times better than this. I would say maybe you should ask him how he thinks he ranks on the scale of attractiveness. But there’s no point, he’s not a nice person and he won’t change. He will just minimise what he has said and make out you are being over sensitive. Just end things. I promise your self esteem will improve if you do.