Need to know what this means...

[Jellykins09]

Name change.
Can wise people of mumsnet tell me what this means?
Does this mean there has been some form of communication in July?
My hands are shaking and I feel sick, apologies for the short post, I can hardly breathe right now.

I'm assuming this is not your phone?

To best answer your question, I need more info...

Was this contact visible in the list of current active WhatsApp chats?

Or did you have to search for the contact to bring the contact up?

If you have a chat convo with someone on WhatsApp and then you delete all the messages.. the contact will remain in your current list of chats unless you also delete the contact from the current list of chats.

I hope that makes sense.

I think it means the contact was started in February and blocked in July - i can’t say whether there was contact in July, or whether that’s just when the last activity took place - ie blocking contact. Maybe someone else can help?

Thank you so much for replies.
I am currently trying to take deep breaths and not pass out.
This is DPs phone.
It was in archived whats app messages.
It was affair partner.
Dp changed his number earlier in the year, so obviously I assumed no contact.
So does this mean there's has been contact recently?
I dont want to confront him without being sure.. because he will turn this around somehow..
Mumsnet has taught me to take photos on my phone of the other phone, and try and remain calm until I can get my facts and answers straight.

I am trying to breathe and not let onto him, anything yet, and its very difficult.

He changed his number in August.

You said you changed his number earlier in the year and in your next message you said he changed his number in August..

Just to clarify.. has he changed his number twice this year, or just once in August?

Looks like the convos were protected by encryption in Feb, but then the person was blocked in July.

Your partner cheated, intrinsically they aren’t reliable. Sorry.

Just once in August.

Also, does this mean there was contact in February? I found out about the affair in January, I thought there had been no contact since.

I'm sat opposite him and I can hardly breathe. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense.

Can you tap to unblock to see if anything else comes up?

@Jellykins09

He changed his number in August.

If he blocked them in July then changed his number in August, on the face of it, it appears that he is trying to sever contact.

Does he have any other apps (e.g. snapchat, messenger) on his phone which could be used for communication?

Looks quite clear that he blocked her in July. I don't think it's possible to say from this what contact, if any, there was before that. WhatsApp, as far as I know, will transfer such threads and stubs between phones unless that number is removed completely as a contact, which I imagine you hoped he had?

Her contact name wasn't saved, but this message was in archived chats.
Found out about the affair in January and even spoke to AP who assured me no contact would be made.
So was there contact in the February?

No other apps Snapchat etc.

They used to communicate over email.

I unblocked her on his WhatsApp and sent a message saying "hi" which she read and didnt reply, and now im in a mini panic because she will definitely have his number now.

I blocked her and deleted the archived chat after, he knows I've been on his phone.

If you delete a conversation on WhatsApp, that encryption message will pop up when you open that contact again for a conversation. The encryption message won’t be remembered from a previous date. Looks like he’s opened her contact in WhatsApp, not sent anything, then archived the chat, then blocked her in July. I wouldn’t worry but I would ask. I don’t really think he can have a go regarding snooping when you’ve been through what you have.

If the chat was in his archived chats, it means there has been an active WhatsApp chat at some point between DP and AP.
A contact would not appear in the active list of current chats or in the archived list of chats if no chat had ever taken place.

DP has cleared the contents of the chat and then archived the chat.

Unfortunately, there is no way to know exactly when the chat took place. All we can know for sure is that he blocked AP in July. Therefore, the chat must have taken place before July.

It is possible that the chat was in January when you found out about the affair and there has been no conversation since.. however, I would question.. why did he not block her in January then??

It is also possible that they maintained contact up until July when he blocked her. Sorry OP, but this seems like the most likely conclusion.

Either way, you deserve better! DP has clearly broken your trust which is causing you to snoop and check his phone. That is no way to live. Suspicious and anxious all the time. You can't be happy. If the trust is gone, why are you still with him? Don't waste your life on a cheat, go and find happiness with someone who deserves you!

From what you've shown, the person was unblocked in February, then re-blocked in July.

I am reading each and every message, and constantly refreshing this thread. I can hardly breathe right now, and im not sure how to deal with it all.

He knows something is wrong and knows ive looked at his phone.
I wish I could write more coherently right now but I am struggling so badly.

Mumsnet has taught me to keep calm and quiet but this is a real struggle.
What made me check his phone was a conversation about it all after a few drinks last night.
I just felt something wasn't quite right.

@mrsb00

If you delete a conversation on WhatsApp, that encryption message will pop up when you open that contact again for a conversation. The encryption message won’t be remembered from a previous date. Looks like he’s opened her contact in WhatsApp, not sent anything, then archived the chat, then blocked her in July. I wouldn’t worry but I would ask. I don’t really think he can have a go regarding snooping when you’ve been through what you have.

So it would make sense to assume that he deleted the chat when OP discovered the affair in January.

The contact was reopened in February (hence the encryption message).. and there must have been some chat. Even if it was just one message to/from DP and AP.
There has to have been some chat for DP to have the option to archive the chat.

I just tested it out on my own WhatsApp acct.. you can't open a contact and archive them without there being any actual chat. So there must have been some chat since February.

You can't live like this OP. Your MH is clearly suffering.

This is why affairs are so damaging.Even when (if) the affair stops, the betrayed partner is always looking for signs and hints of further betrayal.

I've just tried blocking someone randomly on WhatsApp who I hadn't been chatting to. It just blocks them without sending that chat box to archived chats. It only appears to send to archived if there has been some kind of conversation between two people. Looks like they've chatted at some point after or during feb when the message was created, and he's then blocked her. Sorry OP.

I would want to know why he has archived it in the first place - to hide some would guess

Just keep calm OP. He has clearly taken some steps to rectify this upsetting situation for you so you can feel positive about that. Whether he's still communicating with her or not, you will achieve so much more if you remain calm.
I am not making excuses for anyone who has cheated, but I get the impression that these affairs are sometimes difficult to stop immediately (e.g., the affair partner might potentially cause problems when the cheating spouse says they want to stop seeing them). If you want to stay with him you need to take into account the whole picture such as his behaviour generally and whether he has made positive steps towards trying to make you happy again.

@TwentyViginti

You can't live like this OP. Your MH is clearly suffering.

This is why affairs are so damaging.Even when (if) the affair stops, the betrayed partner is always looking for signs and hints of further betrayal.

That is the most important aspect that cheating arseholes fail to realise. The damage to MH can be immense. Constantly looking for signs of betrayal is a symptom of hypervigilance and PTSD.

You may have just handed her his new number, that was an odd move. Without asking him, hard to know if he blocked her because he wanted to stop her contacting him or because he wanted to stop himself from being tempted to contact her. As it seems he's tried to cut ties by changing his number, I'd guess it's him that does not want her to contact, but he slightly left the door open by keeping her in his archived list, so he could make contact if he changed his mind, as you have managed to do. I bet she's well confused now.

@TwentyViginti

You can't live like this OP. Your MH is clearly suffering.

This is why affairs are so damaging.Even when (if) the affair stops, the betrayed partner is always looking for signs and hints of further betrayal.

This. The trust has gone.

It means there has definitely been contact until July, when the number was blocked. It could be one message or several, who knows. Sorry op, I know it’s not what you want to hear but, honestly, this is no way to live. It’s obviously the trust has completely gone here.

Reading WhatsApp's FAQs.. I actually wouldn't read into the encryption message at all. It proves nothing really.
I have looked up a few contacts on my WhatsApp who I never chat to and the encryption message is there for some of them and not for others. For the contacts that do have the encryption message, the date the message appeared is sporadic and doesn't mean anything to me at all.

So, my conclusion is that it is feasible that contact stopped in January, he then deleted all the messages and archived the chat and then later blocked AP in July.

However, as I said in my previous post, I think it's most likely that DP and AP were in contact up until July. If there was to he no further contact from January onwards, why did he not block AP in January?!