DV- pleaded not guilty-to attend trial

[secular89]

Hello all,

Had to NC as this is very outing.

I was with my ex for 9 years- always has been physically and emotionally abusive. Last year, he assaulted me in my parents house and in front of my child. I was left with a black bruised eye for two weeks, had to attend hospital for a brain scan. No internal injuries, thank God.

I got an restraining order and agreed with police to get him charged. He was on bail conditions, but failed to attend to one of his bail hearings (?). Hence, police were not able to locate him and a warrant was out for his arrest.

I was getting on with my life. I have finished my Masters degree, being there for my child and I have secured my first job. Did not hear from my ex. However, three weeks ago, I received a call from the police, telling me that they have found my ex and would attend a bail hearing a week prior. Today, I just received a phone call that my ex has pleaded not guilty and I have to attend court in two weeks. The police also said that they would like the family member to attend as she was a witness. But knowing her, she won't go through with it and I cannot place that in her head.

I'm in two minds. I don't know if I want to attend court. I was getting on with my life, not a care for him, not thinking of him and now this- I don't know what to do.. what to expect. My ex has dangerous friends and I'm worried that they will come after me.
I don't understand why he pleaded non-guilty and he has always pleaded guilty. I don't know what to do? What do I tell me new job? What should I expect when I go to court?

[dublingirl66]

Absolutely

They see this day in and out

Keep going

How DARE he put innocent people through this

Please reach out for support to get through this

[dublingirl66]

When is the case!?

[dublingirl66]

Did it go ahead op?

[secular89]

Hey Dublin! Did you attend your trial? My one is next week! Not looking forward to it.

[dublingirl66]

Mine next week

Petrified

What will you do?

[secular89]

I'm going to do it. I got this far, I might as well. Although, I would be relived if he doesn't turn up. How are you feeling about? Have you had any support?

[dublingirl66]

Not much support

Hope they both rot in hell
We owe it to many others and ourselves to do this

[Sunnydaysstillhere]

Lots of virtual support here op.. Wish mn had been around when I needed it years ago.

[dublingirl66]

Thank you all

And best of luck to OP

Gosh it is hard but I think we have already done flipping amazing

Love to anyone else in this awful situation fck abusers
They leave a trail of destruction everywhere

[secular89]

URGENT!

Can anyone give advise about writing a victim support letter to be read in court. I have written something- not yet done. Contacted Victim support but they cannot help me as my trial is impeding. Any tips would my much appreciated!

[FourPlasticRings]

Stick to the truth. Offer no unnecessary embellishments.

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Hi Op, do you mean a victim impact statement? Is it something the CPS or police have asked you to do?

[secular89]

Yes! Sorry. That's what I meant. A victim impact statement. The police offered me the opportunity to do so.

[Gingerninja4]

Stick to facts in my case I can not stand anything on my neck no button up shirts etc no high zips so means in winter I end up cold

I also have nightmares .Jump at noise in the dark.
I could not have door /windows open no.matter how hot (Can now 6 years after court as have a 37kg dog )

[Gingerninja4]

I watch my children so carefully .
I struggle to trust people so socialising is hard for me etc

[Shefliesonherownwings]

There’s no specific format or template for the statement so don’t worry about that. Just set out exactly how you have been affected, as others have said, be truthful and factual. I don’t think anyone else can tell you what to say as only you
know how you have been affected but include everything, so physical, emotional, mental impact.

[dublingirl66]

I have done one I can help

Stick to facts

It is all about the impact on you

At the top it should give you some guidelines

I'm sorry that you have not received support from police to fill in

My case was this morning bast### pleaded not guilty
Criminal case next year 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[dublingirl66]

I would go back and ask police as they should be helping with this

[secular89]

dublingirl66
What?! Dublin, I am so sorry. What happened. Did you testify in court? Please feel free to PM me if it's too identifying. I can't believe you have to go through with this again!!

[dublingirl66]

PM you now xx

[secular89]

*update.

He pleaded guilty last minute and would he sentenced in the next few months. I did not get to read out my victim impact statement, which I was annoyed about. I was offered to attend the sentence hearing, where I will be able to read my Victim Statement. But I immediately said no, because I don't want to attend court again. I am not sure if this was the right thing to do... what do you all think?

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Hi op, I suspect the court will need to get per sentence reports and things before sentencing which will be the reason it didn’t take place today and you didn’t get to read your statement.

It shouldn’t be an issue if you don’t attend the sentencing hearing, the prosecutor can read your statement on your behalf and then let you know what sentence he gets. Well done for going today, be proud of yourself for seeing it through, you’d done brilliantly.

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Sorry that should be pre sentence reports.

[iloverock]

Knew that would happen. Well done x

[WildHorsesRunInMe]

Well done OP. All the best to you and your DC.