DV- pleaded not guilty-to attend trial

[secular89]

Hello all,

Had to NC as this is very outing.

I was with my ex for 9 years- always has been physically and emotionally abusive. Last year, he assaulted me in my parents house and in front of my child. I was left with a black bruised eye for two weeks, had to attend hospital for a brain scan. No internal injuries, thank God.

I got an restraining order and agreed with police to get him charged. He was on bail conditions, but failed to attend to one of his bail hearings (?). Hence, police were not able to locate him and a warrant was out for his arrest.

I was getting on with my life. I have finished my Masters degree, being there for my child and I have secured my first job. Did not hear from my ex. However, three weeks ago, I received a call from the police, telling me that they have found my ex and would attend a bail hearing a week prior. Today, I just received a phone call that my ex has pleaded not guilty and I have to attend court in two weeks. The police also said that they would like the family member to attend as she was a witness. But knowing her, she won't go through with it and I cannot place that in her head.

I'm in two minds. I don't know if I want to attend court. I was getting on with my life, not a care for him, not thinking of him and now this- I don't know what to do.. what to expect. My ex has dangerous friends and I'm worried that they will come after me.
I don't understand why he pleaded non-guilty and he has always pleaded guilty. I don't know what to do? What do I tell me new job? What should I expect when I go to court?

[BPSCSS]

In terms of the suicide threats, my ex did that after every time even going as far as mocking up an attempt. He is still very much alive 20+ years later after the first threat. I am on the other hand am broken, medicated and should have press charges when asked 10 years ago.

[Palavah]

He's the one spoiling things, not you.

Have they acknowledged his DV at all?

[Nowisthemonthofmaying]

I agree that the reason you have been left in peace is because he has had to adhere to bail conditions prior to the court case. If this is dropped he will be free to harass or hurt you again.

Like a pp I think it's very likely that he has pleased not guilty in the hope that you won't turn up and the case will be dropped. If you do go, he will probably plead guilty on the day so you won't actually have to appear, as it sounds like there is strong evidence against him. I see this happen in court often with dv cases.

If you do have to appear it would be usual for special measures to be granted including screens for you, so he can't see you, and even if he's not represented by a lawyer he won't be able to question you himself.

I know you are worried about your safety but the best way to keep yourself safe is to go through with this and get him sentenced. If the case is dropped he will be free to harass you with impunity as he knows you will not follow through with the legal process designed to protect you.

[category12]

@secular89

he's not going to be grateful, he will see it as weakness and potentially an opening

But, why should I worry about what he thinks of me? This can't be a driving factor in my reason to pursue going to court or not.

You're misunderstanding my point - it's not about what he thinks about you, it's what he does about it.

He may be staying away from you and not harassing you because of the impending court case.

If you back down, he'll think you always will back down. He may start bullying you and trying to get back into your life, or start trying to gain access to your child, may think he can get away with beating you up again - or worse.

[secular89]

What should I expect on the day?

I initially didn't want to have any screens as I would not he intimidated by him- but I'm not so sure now. I am aware it is going to be public. Can I request that I want a private hearing- with no public involved?

[Bunnymumy]

You will find probably with covid that you will be split between a few rooms. So any public there happen to be, are unlikely to be in your room anyway. Probably the trial in one room and everyone else, elsewhere.

Unfortunately you cant request a private trial I dont believe...maybe you can ask to give evidence via video link though...might be worth asking. Wouldnt hold my breath but no harm in asking.

[Bunnymumy]

Also, you can read about 'what to expect as a witness' on the government/court website. Type it into google and it should bring things up.

[Nowisthemonthofmaying]

Unfortunately you can't request a private trial but I wouldn't worry too much about the public gallery, in the magistrates courts it would be very rare to have anyone there apart from occasionally a friend or relative of someone involved. Screens normally hide you from most of the court anyway except for the magistrates and officials, and as a pp said with distancing at the moment you may be spread across a few rooms anyway.

On the day, once you arrive in court you should be met by a witness liaison who will take you to a private room so you don't run any risk of bumping into your ex. The prosecutor will come to talk to you to go through what will happen in court and you should be given copies of the relevant paperwork such as your police statement at the time (if you made one) etc. If your ex doesn't change his plea then you will be escorted down to the courtroom when you have to give evidence - if you've requested screens then you shouldn't see your ex at all even when you are entering or leaving the room. The prosecutor will ask you questions about what happened and then the defending lawyer will ask you questions too. After you've given your evidence you will be escorted out and then you'll be free to leave if you want, or if you'd rather stay to hear the outcome of the trial then you can do that. Courts are very used to dealing with dv cases and they should do everything they can to ensure you're comfortable with the process and feel secure.

[secular89]

I have been given a witness warning. What's that?

[secular89]

Thank you Now. Although the court would not be opened to the public. What about journalists and reporters?

[Bunnymumy]

I'd imagine a witness warning means 'attend or else'. Surely it says on the warning?

Journalists will be with the public.

[secular89]

Thank you Bunny. Just clarifying that it wasn't a summons.

[Bunnymumy]

Or, where the public would be...if they were there.

But you mind find there aren't any journalists there either.

Why aren't you speaking to the court though op. You should have a contact. Ask them all the questions you need to, thars what they are for.

[category12]

As far as I know, it's just notification to attend as a witness.

Here's some good info:
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/going-to-court-as-a-witness1/you-might-have-to-go-to-court-as-a-witness/you-might-have-to-go-to-court-as-a-witness/

Victim Support might be helpful for you: www.victimsupport.org.uk/going-court/your-rights-witness

[category12]

It's doubtful that your case would be particularly newsworthy, tbh.

[dublingirl66]

Mo jo bangles this is so very true

Op I feel your fear

I am in the same position

We can do this
We hAve so many reasons to keep going with it
Especially for you and your family and also the many others who have wanted a prosecution and never got any where

Will be thinking of you

[dublingirl66]

Question - how do they make it to press ?

Ex my monster will be in crown court
So more chance of reporters there?
He has a public high up job
Does that mean they may shed more light on him ???

[Wallywobbles]

It took 9 years of court to get rid of my ex - hes finally lost parental responsibility. You have a possibility of getting that from the off.

I think you have to go through with it. And you need to talk to the police about how they can make your relation feel safe to give testimony.

[secular89]

dublingirl66 are you going to have screens at your hearing?

Thanks everyone for your comments. I don't want to go- honestly I don't. I was moving on with my life. I had no ill thoughts of the ex. I hardly thought about him- if ever! He left me well alone and I haven't heard from him in a year.

But since receiving the phone call about going to court. All I can do is think about him, think about what he put me through, think about my safety and my families-including my child, thinking about how this may anger him further and going to court may spoil the relationship I have with his family.

Also, all the feelings I had for him on the day he attacked me, are all coming back. Apart of me just wants to leave it alone, move forward and not look back. However, sometimes, you need to look back in order to move forward. Plus, he has been abusing me for over 9 years and I've been letting it go. Maybe, this time, if I go to court, he would his abusiveness once and for all.

I think I will go to court after all...... for now anyway.

[dublingirl66]

Please do

Yes I am having screens up

[MoJoBangles]

You're so very brave OP (and @dublingirl) and I really hope you get the justice you deserve.

What you are experiencing (I.e reliving the same feelings etc.) sounds like PTSD. Have you sought any help from your G.P or health visitor?

Also, have you been offered to write a victim impact statement?

[FrancesHaHa]

OP, please contact a local domestic abuse service - details should be found on your local authority website. If you can see an IDVA service call them. They will talk you through all the options, not just for the court case but also safety and housing options. They can advocate on your behalf.

There are pros and cons to going to court and they can properly go through them without influencing you either way as they are independent.

Also, lots of women call police and don't give evidence in court. If women get victim blamed around this they may not call police next time and there life might be in more risk. The police can always be called.

[FrancesHaHa]

As well as screens there are other measures which can be taken on the day, such as a separate entrance, waiting room etc so you don't bump into him. The DV service should have local knowledge on this

[secular89]

Thank you Frances, I will. I am extremely worried about my safety.

I've decided not to do screens. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. I was worried I would have felt alien... not only that but I wanted to stand up to him. They are going to put measures about waiting in different areas and escorting etc.

[dublingirl66]

After all he put you through isn't this what he deserves ??

I remember my attacker beating me and all I could think of was how to help him and how to protect him
It took around two years to grow out of that mindset

Now I couldn't care less
Dying to see him end up in jail

It is so very hard
So your feelings are so normal considering everything