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Relationships

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My best friend has declared his feelings and I'm confused

143 replies

wistfulchameleon · 24/09/2020 09:59

Name changed for this.

I left my marriage of 13 years a few years ago now. The very first person I started to date (whom I met online) I fell for quite badly. Unfortunately my head wasn't in the right place to begin another serious relationship so I ended it. I never told him the extent of my feelings for him, I kept them to myself and we began a friendship instead.
Three years later he is my best friend. We have so much in common, talk daily, meet for lunch every week, he makes me laugh and I love every second of his company. I'd genuinely moved on from my romantic feelings towards him in to viewing him in a purely platonic way.

I've just ended a 7 month relationship because it didn't feel right, and about a week later my friend asked to see me urgently. He told me that he's in love with me and always has been. It completely threw me, and almost immediately I could feel my old romantic feelings towards him returning to the surface. We slept together that evening and it was amazing.

The issue is that I'm really not sure if I should proceed with this. I mean, I want to, very much. But I don't know if two friends can move beyond that point and begin a relationship without risking everything they have together. Would you throw caution to the wind and go for it, or would you keep your cool and attempt to salvage the friendship? He means a lot to me, he's probably the only person in the world I really trust and l don't want to lose him.

OP posts:
AllGongNoDinner · 23/11/2020 00:03

Fabulous!!!!

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 23/11/2020 00:12

Ah that's lovely. I hadn't seen your thread before, started reading, realised it was a couple of months old but recently bumped and it was either going to be great or disaster. Turns out it was great and you're happy :)

pinkeskimo12 · 23/11/2020 00:47

Congratulations!!!!! How bloody lovely 😍🍾💛

aurynne · 23/11/2020 01:05

Thank you so much for sharing this absolutely lovely, heart-warming, happy, full-of-hope story. You have made lots of people smile widely (me included) and fell all warm and fuzzy. I wish you guys all the happiness in the World, even without knowing you I am so happy for you both!

Fungster · 23/11/2020 01:07

OMG, OP!!

How wonderful!! All the congratulations in the world to you both! 🥂❤️

GlowingOrb · 23/11/2020 01:10

Im about to celebrate my 15th wedding anniversary with my best friend.

That is actually my advice to anyone looking for a lasting relationship. Marry your best friend if they happen to be the target sex for your orientation.

lovelemoncurd · 23/11/2020 01:31

You won't be able to salvage a friendship now after rejecting him. There's all or nothing now. That's the way it works.

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 23/11/2020 01:48

Oh how wonderful!☺️☺️☺️Do we get to see a photo of the beautiful ring?

binkyblinky · 23/11/2020 02:19

Wonderful! Congratulations OP X

CandyLeBonBon · 23/11/2020 02:46

Awwwwwwwwww ❤️

Mittens030869 · 23/11/2020 03:09

This is such a wonderful update. Congratulations to you both, OP! 💕

spidermomma · 23/11/2020 03:12

Oh my gosh this has made me smile so much!!!
What a beautiful love story on here for w change !! Soo glad you took the chance knew from the get go it was going to be brill and iv just been able to read the fairytale and the outcome all in one go!
Congratulations xxxx

Smeeglz · 23/11/2020 12:11

I'm so pleased for you OP. I was thinking about this earlier, as it made me all warm and tingly to hear of such a lovely ending - but your DH to-be must really be a man of honour. Imagine standing by whilst you were in your last relationship of 7 months, and still being there for you all the time, he must have been cut-up inside knowing you were with somebody else. Wow. It the stuff of fairy tales. Tell us more about your friendship before you got together, I'd love to know more!

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 25/11/2020 15:29

Oh that’s wonderful, congratulations @wistfulchameleon (you should name change to bloodyhappychameleon !)

Thank you for the update, I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been wondering how you were getting on! or I’m sadly over invested

🥂❤️💍🎂

overwork · 27/11/2020 11:36

I've only just seen this so far too late to the party - but what bloody lovely news and such a nice end to the weirdest of years. I'm so happy for you. Can't comment on the marriage part, but dating your best friend is the nicest, most comfortable relationship there is. Congratulations!!

Wanderdust · 29/11/2020 14:24

I'm not crying, you are!! This thread has made me smile, congratulations!!

Autumnblooms · 29/11/2020 15:20

I’m not crying you are!!

Congratulations!

Does he have a brother? Asking for a friend Grin

Greydove28 · 02/12/2020 12:34

Congratulations!!!!

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