Husband wants open marriage, but I refuse. Divorce looming.
Hi, I have been in and out of these threads for a couple of years now dealing with my serial adulterer husband. A few days ago he told me he wants an open marriage with his mistress of nearly 10 years. He wants to go very public with her as his partner but keeping me as his wife. He thinks this would be a great situation, which keeps the family together, he has his lover and doesn’t have to hide her anymore. I was utterly dismayed by this, but he cannot understand why I would reject it. I said I felt humiliation and hurt with him parading her all over town, but he just said what do you care, you don’t know these people anyway. He thinks people would think it was an ideal situation and very cool and he cannot see how I could possibly object! Is he gaslighting me again? He says he wants to enjoy the rest of his life with his young lover who worships the ground he walks on. He says life is too short to have the quiet life with me. He constantly says I am his soulmate and he loves me, but in the same sentence he will say he loves her too and wants to be with her so he needs us both in his life
We have 2 grown up sons of 21 and 22, who live at home occasionally. He says if I don’t accept his conditions this is all my choice, and it will be my choice to break up the marriage and break up the family as I’m so unreasonable. But I never made these choices. I never chose to marry A serial adulterer. I never chose to be fighting with a mistress for the past few years. I never chose to be in this position. It’s cruel of him to say That if we divorce it will be my fault!
OK what do you all you mumsnetters think about my situation? I’m pretty sure we’re going to divorce, no other option. But I just want someone to tell me that I’m not mad, I’m not unreasonable. I need someone to tell me he’s a complete bastard and his mistress is a psycho bitch and I’ve been caught between the two of them. Incidentally we’re supposed to be celebrating our 30th marriage anniversary next week! It’s also sad isn’t it!
Please, someone, tell me I’m not mad and I’m not unreasonable and that my feelings would be the same as any normal sane married woman. Just need to hear it, because I mainly just get him and his snide remarks.