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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Where are all the decent men?

53 replies

Hellokitty198 · 07/09/2020 13:15

Another failed relationship with a twat.

About to give up. But I can’t. Im mid 30s and want a loving supportive husband and family.

Help.

OP posts:
Happyfrappe · 07/09/2020 17:49

If you find out, let me know will ya? Thanks

UtterSocks · 07/09/2020 18:35

Well they aren't on dating apps! I've looked hard enough

AnaViaSalamanca · 07/09/2020 18:46

What are your hobbies OP? Do you date primarily online?

managedmis · 07/09/2020 18:47

Friend of a friend? Friends husbands mates?

galgaf12 · 07/09/2020 19:10

Married

NameChange84 · 07/09/2020 19:13

They seem to already be married Sad

Shayelle2009 · 07/09/2020 20:40

I agree not on dating apps 😂

amieejust · 07/09/2020 20:42

Married or gay.

Heatherjayne1972 · 07/09/2020 20:47

I think they’re either spoken for or gay ( and therefore not interested in a straight woman)

Let me know where they’re hiding op if you find one
I want one too

anotherdisaster · 07/09/2020 20:52

Sadly OP if we knew that we wouldn't be on here. I still think there are some, just harder to find sadly.
I think they are harder to find as we get older too because:

  1. they're mainly taken
  2. we don't settle anymore
StormBaby · 07/09/2020 20:58

Well I picked up someone else’s cast offs after she ran off with his best mate. We are now married after meeting online and he is AMAZING. Lord knows what she was thinking. 😂
He’s good looking, hardworking, emotionally intelligent, honest, apologises when he is wrong, buys me flowers twice a week, pulls his weight at home, is a great dad and stepdad. He’s been an annoying twat lately and made some stupid decisions, and he’s worked on it and made changes to himself without me even having to ask.

They do exist, honest!

anotherdisaster · 07/09/2020 21:10

Actually yes they do exist. I know 2 single ones who seem really decent. I don't fancy them though!!!

ghostmous3 · 07/09/2020 21:18

They do exist. I found one 2 years ago..he was long term single and we are both 40 odd

He can be a twat at times..who isnt. I am and I have many faults but we muddle along and i adore him.

But we met at work and bonded through a shared hobby outside of work and that helped enormously

Catforaheadrest · 07/09/2020 21:23

They do exist 😁 one of the MOST eligible bachelors I know only met his now wife about about 31-32. I’m early 30s and some of my friends are getting divorced... some may come back on the market!

But seriously - how do you... errr... find your dates?

Bluezoo123 · 07/09/2020 21:36

Yes please if someone knows where any decent single men are hiding I'd like to know!I refuse to go back on the dating apps so how the hell are you meant to meet someone in real life?especially with Covid still an issue!

Wondersense · 07/09/2020 22:01

It's posts like these that make me think there is still a real market for personalised matchmaking services - as in, I interview lots of men, do criminal checks on them like an employer would etc, and then send them your way! No idea how it would really function as a business though or more importantly, where I'd get the men from!

NameChange84 · 07/09/2020 22:09

It's posts like these that make me think there is still a real market for personalised matchmaking services - as in, I interview lots of men, do criminal checks on them like an employer would etc, and then send them your way! No idea how it would really function as a business though or more importantly, where I'd get the men from!

I’d definitely be interested in such a service. DBS and Marriage Certificate checks would weedle out the abusers and cheaters. Having an outside eye set up a few dates with suitable people with similar values.

Certain religions and ethnic groups do still have a matchmaker or introductions bureau and I know of many success stories. OLD isn’t for everyone but it’s also increasingly hard to meet single people offline. What’s a serious woman to do?!

Wondersense · 07/09/2020 22:19

@NameChange84

It's posts like these that make me think there is still a real market for personalised matchmaking services - as in, I interview lots of men, do criminal checks on them like an employer would etc, and then send them your way! No idea how it would really function as a business though or more importantly, where I'd get the men from!

I’d definitely be interested in such a service. DBS and Marriage Certificate checks would weedle out the abusers and cheaters. Having an outside eye set up a few dates with suitable people with similar values.

Certain religions and ethnic groups do still have a matchmaker or introductions bureau and I know of many success stories. OLD isn’t for everyone but it’s also increasingly hard to meet single people offline. What’s a serious woman to do?!

I've thought of doing it before, but I would be absolutely terrified of not realising a man was a weirdo or someone dangerous. It would feel terrible, and on the business side, would have no idea what kind of insurance would even cover me for matchmaking services! No idea what to charge either!
ilikemethewayiam · 07/09/2020 22:30

Lots of married men aren’t decent either as MN can testify! I have no idea where they are OP. Sorry can’t help on this one.

Fairycake2 · 07/09/2020 22:40

I'd like to find one but can also confirm they are not on OLD 😂

Dazzedandconfused · 07/09/2020 22:44

My friend and I was talking about this earlier! We agreed that good guys in their 30s are probably taken so we should probably extend our search to 40 somethings as they may be recently separated or divorced by then Grin

missmouse101 · 07/09/2020 22:48

I know a lovely one. He refuses to do OLD, is 28 and keeps chickens! Would love to help him find someone but he can't bear the whole dating shenanigan. He's truly wasted. Sad

Krazynights34 · 07/09/2020 22:49

I was going to say...in test tubes waiting to be developed but that’s harsh (and I have a naughty sense of humour).
I’m married but hey... let me know if you ever find out!

Notapheasantplucker · 07/09/2020 22:52

They're a rare species

goingtobedalone · 07/09/2020 22:53

Well i saw a man camping with 4 kids and he seemed pretty decent. No idea what he's like as a husband (and he probably is someone's husband ) but i have to say i was pretty impressed.