Got stood up today

[anotherdisaster]

I thought I had experiences all the weirdness men had to offer but today I actually got stood up for the first time. Not looking for advice, just to vent I suppose. Met online, he wasn't even really my type but he seemed genuinely nice. We arranged to meet up fairly quickly (on Friday) for this afternoon. He was sending messages every day but not OTT.
Even got one this morning "Happy Date Day". Then he asks to change the time out of the blue with no explanation. I saw it was a little bit awkward so he offered an alternative. Just after I had left, he messaged to say he was running late as still had his daughter with him. But, no indication of how long. I replied saying not to worry I would just walk the dog round the park.
I waited half and hour then left. Not heard from him since.
I'm at a loss to explain this behaviour. I've blocked him now as I don't want to be sat waiting to hear from him with his excuse (which I probably wouldn't anyway).
Even though I know I've dodged a bullet, still made me feel crap.

I actually laughed out loud on the street at the disliking his music.

Well played, OP, well played. 😂

@GreyShadow - link to your thread pease? I seem to vaguely remember the start of it.

DM'd you OP!

@TwentyViginti got it, and replied. Thank you!

And thanks to everyone else. It really has made me feel so much better.

I guess you'll never know but it isn't the end of the world so I shouldn't get too bent out of shape over it.

@VesperLynne I wouldn't say I'm exactly 'bent out of shape'. I'm already over it. Its just good to vent as it was extremely irritating at the time. But thank you for your kind words.

I wonder have any women stood men up? Or is it just a male thing? Dating is hard work op! Well don't for disliking his music.

Ah OP I'm glad you're feeling ok about it :)

I thought of another dating 'mishap' I had some years ago - arranged a date with a guy, not my usual type but I was just dipping my toe back in the dating pool so thought what the hell. Perfectly normal, messages to and fro, arranged to meet for a drink after work one night. About 24 hours before he suddenly went silent, however I did get a message from a woman asking me who I was and why I was messaging her boyfriend! So that explained that one...again I thought, lucky escape.

I do think a lot of men on sites are there for a 'thrill' and a bit of sexting, they never want to meet an actual woman (often because they're already in a relationship of course!).

@TwentyViginti just for you! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3129992-To-make-my-bf-wait-hours-for-his-blind-date

Hope link works!

Thank you, @GreyShadow

OOH it's a nice long one. Will grab a coffee and biscuits (any excuse ).

@GreyShadow oh I shall have a good read of that too!

@Malikka wow, there are just so many wrong'uns on there. I'm sure there are lots of bad women too but you don't hear about those so much. I'm fully aware there are lots on there who are not single.
I suppose its good to be able to laugh about it. I wasn't laughing yesterday. I fretted about it all morning (I was nervous) then spent time getting ready and driving to the destination. Then spent the rest of the day feeling crap so my whole day ruined.
Just another one to chalk up to experience but doesn't fill you with much confidence for finding someone decent.

@GreyShadow Just skim read your thread. YOU ARE A LEGEND. Love that.
Some people often say the best way to deal with these things is to just get on with your life but, there is also some real satisfaction in revenge at times!!!
Did he ever find out it was you?

@anotherdisaster from what I've heard from men, a lot of the 'women' on dating sites are often fake profiles/chatbot type things, that after the first message send links to adult sites etc...
I don't know any men who have been stood up, but I know a couple who were on the end of some serious CF'ery from women, turning up to dates with no cash (and expecting a free evening and then lift or paid taxi home), one work colleague got asked to 'lend' a woman £150 before a first date as she couldn't afford to get her car taxed to drive there He offered to pick her up in his car instead, or meet somewhere she could walk to...she cancelled the date!
I am old enough to remember the pre dating site times, when you'd meet people in pubs or bars and get chatting. But most of those you'd either get an odd feeling from, spot a wedding ring, or other warning sign and that would be it. It's harder now because you don't get to see someone face to face and pick up on any of those warnings. That said there are good men (and women) out there, you just have to wade through a lot of not good ones to find them :)

@Malikka oh yeah I can imagine there are some awful women too. I've heard of the chatbots and links to adult sites!

The irony is, this guy is a support worker for kids with special needs so you would 'assume' is therefore a caring person. And I checked his job out and found him online and it was true. It was one of the reasons I replied in the first place as I thought "Oh that's such a lovely job to do". Just shows.

I was almost stood up. I had arranged to meet someone and I messaged on the morning of the date. There was no reply so I didn't turn up to the date. I thought he could have at least told me he no longer wanted to meet.

Since then he has changed his pic on Whatsapp so he hasn't had an accident or anything.

i think men have more than one date at a time and when they finally decide to commit to one woman , just ignore the other women they've been juggling .

Sorry op. It’s definitely shit! Disliking his YouTube videos had me howling though, I love being petty 🤣

Definitely don't take it personally. I'm convinced half these men have no intention of going on the date because of anxieties, relationships, erectile dysfunction, etc.
I arranged a date once where I made it pretty explicit that I was just after sex. We'd had steamy texting up til then.
And he STILL stood me up. His loss though as I went on to have amazing sex with the next one.
Onwards and upwards.

@Spritesobright erectile dysfunction haha, that made me laugh. Not that its a laughing matter of course.
I also had a similar situation to you a few times. A bit of sexting etc then when it came to actually meeting up they bailed out!!
All talk and no action.

Definitely all talk and no action. Totally agree that ED in itself isn't funny but when it's used as an excuse to treat women badly/make it seem their fault then frankly it's fair game to call it for what it is.
Not the same obviously but many people on gumtree are just as bad - timewasters with very little consideration for others.
You would think they'd be better when it comes to people's fragile dating egos but nope.

I'm new to the dating scene, im finding it bloody hard to get conversations going. Im light and breezy, keep subjects fairly neutral then nothing and most of the men are 20/25 years older. Im over 40!

you tube music, does his name start with G?

@Wannabegreenfingers its probably because they have nothing of interest to say. It could also be because they are messaging multiple women.
I matched with a guy on Tinder and he sent the first message. It was all going well (or so I thought), then his replies got shorter and shorter. Then the conversation stopped and then.... he unmatched me. I just assumed he was interested in others more than me.

@Greeneyes78 ha no it doesn't, it starts with an A. Sounds like you have a story there.....