Would you rather have a relationship for the rest of your life with lots of highs and lots of lows, or be single for the rest of your life?

[Dr1ppin]

Just that really. Highs are amazing, lows are pretty unbearable. Or be single forever?

SINGLE!

Single, single, single. Please.

Single.

Single. No brainer. I'm single now after twenty years of marriage and blown away by how much nicer it is.

You’ll need to define ‘highs and lows’. Do you mean a tempestuous relationship where you argue a lot but it’s basically loving, or one which is just periodically miserable?

If the relationship was hot and cold all the time then that would mess with my head and I’d much rather be single. Had relationships like that in my 20s and they massively affected my self esteem

Single.

Did the rollercoaster relationship in my early 20s. Never again.

You’ll spend the highs dreading the lows.

Single.

Single. I lived with unmedicated bipolar for 25 years. (Him not me) Never doing that again.

Single all the way, far less complicated and love my independence

Single or with someone steady where you have mutual respect for each other.
The highs of a h/l relationships are amazing & very addictive, but the lows eat you up & make you feel insecure. Never again!

I agree with @Readandwalk and as I don't want kids, it's single for me from now on.

I just ended an up and down relationship for the last time yesterday. One were I was usually told I was to blame for the rollercoaster even though I never experienced it in any other relationship. One where I was able to identify the patterns and decided that him hugely overreacting to me apparently pulling the wrong expression at him then withdrawing for a few days to play his usual game of let's get her to reach out and apologise first. And all over a facial expression apparently. This guy is almost fifty. Decade older. Fuckkkkk that. Fuck the cycles, fuck the highs and lows. Never again.

*decided that him hugely overreacting to me apparently pulling the wrong expression at him then withdrawing for a few days to play his usual game of let's get her to reach out and apologise first...should've added "was not worth it" or something at the end of that ridiculously long sentence 😂

Single. The highs in the high/low relationship are largely relief that you're not in a low. Get out of the relationship and you get that permanently.

@Clementinewine Bloody hell. 'You looking at me funny?' Well done for ending it.

Single- (more) peaceful and free.

@SoulofanAggron yes and I believe you may have been on my other thread giving great advice? (Gut feelings one).

So so bad. Put up with it for 2 years because I did love him, I am sad now but the highs and lows were ridiculous. Not had that kind of rollercoaster ever before, even though all the issues were usually blamed on me (if that's the case why did I manage to have a much steadier and much longer relationship before that, hmm).

Before I met him I was thinking I was done with relationships now and this has cemented it. I will always choose single first now and will definitely choose that over a rollercoaster relationship. Most ridiculous thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Relationship. Because then I would have someone to share the highs and lows that life throws anyway whether single or not .

No contest. Being single is far better than being in a rollercoaster of a relationship.

@Readandwalk sounds like you are right!!

depends what you mean by lows. The frequency and the extent.
I dont mind lows being a bit boring or mundane, but are you talking about a kind of abuse cycle?

Best way to response is to by asking a question. What's the impact of the 'highs and lows' and is it worth it in the long run. - How would you advise your daughter, your son or even your grandchildren or most importantly a younger version of you. Sometimes it doesn't matter what other opinions are accept your own.

Single (in the situation you describe)
And I say that as somebody who has been very happy with my DH for 30+ years . We have a calm, lovely relationship.

I couldn't bear some of the roller-coaster situations that other posters have endured. Highs and lows are not for me!

Why is there only a choice between and up and down relationship and singledom?

I’d choose getting single first, then after some time look for a calmer relationship.

Im single. I cant cope with all the drama any more.

I would go out and look for a man that gives me mega highs and a only a few medium lows every now and then .

No one needs to be in a relationship that has severe, and repetitive, mind altering, depressing, makes-you-feel-lonely-and-worthless, lows.