Ok why is this guy still texting me

[Abby85]

We broke up a long time ago and it ended badly I was so upset. I broke up with him because he was being a selfish dick and he accepted it straight away and didn’t seem upset about it or sorry. Blocked deleted moved on I have since met a new guy who is so much nicer to me.

Months later ex keeps finding reasons to message me from a new number. It’s usually something that seems serious or financial to sort out (only once was it about money). We don’t flirt with each other he’s never asked to meet up and we don’t talk about what happened. It’s usually less than 10 polite messages back and forwards and then he gives up for 2 weeks. I never text him first and don’t have this number saved. I don’t understand what he is getting out of this situation. The money thing made sense but telling me things like I am an old mate of his doesn’t. I think because it seems serious things he’s telling me and he suffered from depression I feel obliged to reply out of politeness now.

I can block and move on and lose no sleep over it but I keep wondering why he’s doing it and if that would just be petty? I don’t hate him or still have any feelings for him except maybe pity which is not very attractive.

If you text someone who dumped you why would you keep doing it is he trying to manipulate me?

I did say victim once though and it was a phrase when I said find a new victim. I just meant it as a phrase for meeting a new woman.

I don’t want to be unkind to my new boyfriend so I’m not going to wonder about it anymore because I will never know the answer anyway. I don’t love ex don’t want him to love me don’t want to be his Florence nightingale or want attention I just think I wanted him to be sorry. And he doesn’t seem sorry anyway.

Part of this could be that a guy I was engaged to years ago did search for me to say sorry to me for some of what happened between us and his part of the break up and we have had a nice friendship for a long time since. I dunno why this was good but I suppose it meant that the things I liked about him at the time were real and he was a good guy all along we just were wrong for each other. We are both happy that each other is happy in our lives

Don't worry too much about it, it will be sorted.

Try to get some head rest from it though.

Change your number

I don’t want to be unkind to my new boyfriend so I’m not going to wonder about it anymore because I will never know the answer anyway. I don’t love ex don’t want him to love me don’t want to be his Florence nightingale or want attention I just think I wanted him to be sorry. And he doesn’t seem sorry anyway.

There's an awful lot of angst in your posts, him texting you randomly has worked hasnt it? You've made a MN thread about HIM, talked at length about HIM and your ENDED relationship and talk about wanting to be nice and friends with a douche who you rightly THREW out of your life previously.

Please stop.

You are happy in a new relationship with your new boyfriend.

This idiot belongs in the past

Write him a letter asking for bank details if and when you've been refunded and not before

Block his phone And stop replying to anything else . Don't think or talk anymore about him, including to your friends and on MN , unless he does something new. as you're just fueling this and the damage is coming from you letting him weasel back in your head

@Abby85

I read your thread, including the posts that were deleted because they were awful and I think you have actually been bullied on this thread. It's disgusting, this is a relationship board for support and people come in and just think they can take their issues out on you. It's nothing short of pathetic. I hope you are successful in blocking this guy this time, just ignore him , he will get the hint that you're not interested.

Thanks. Yeah I don’t know it must be me. The other woman who wrote about closure today about her ex why did he behave like this got a load of different responses but I think it’s the same thing that sometimes you like closure and to understand what the fuck happened

@Abby85

It's not you. You couldn't have been clearer in your behaviour, you even blocked him. You're not looking for love from him. You are looking for validation that what he did was wrong and that you were hurt.... You won't get it. You really won't.

Sort this money, block him and never respond to another text because it will just be another confusing meander that is intended to keep you talking to him. He is the one who is trying to keep you thinking about him. Not the other way around.

Stop focusing on, and analysing, his behaviour. It doesn't matter why he's behaving the way he does. It matters that you are replying, giving it headspace and perpetuating an unhealthy connection. Focus on, and analyse, why you are behaving the way you are. Because that does matter. There's no need to be engaging with him, so stop. You've moved on, or say you have, so give yourself freedom from the past and permission to behave in a more self protective way in future. No good comes from speaking with him. So don't.