My husband said I'm shit stirring and have problems in my head for protecting our land

[Cyanjade1]

Hi, I posted in legal a short time ago. Basically a person had approached us saying they'll be driving over our land claiming to have a access route through our wall and over our land and that they were buying land next door..

Despite me telling him that he did not have any access over our land, He has been accessing through gates, driving diggers, dumpers over our land. Our solicitor confirmed he doesnt have any access over our land. We pegged our land (reluctantly my husband helped me) out but this man has just been breaking the fence posts and throwing them into the bushes. Threatening to smash our wall down and stop us maintaining our property if we stop him driving over our land. My husband was there at the time the man made these threats, but he turned around to the man saying well you're not asking for alot are you.

This is the part thats gets to me this most. My husband shouts at me telling me I've got problems in my head and I'm shit stirring by stopping him going over our land. Despite our solicitor telling us both that this man has no access rights. My husband will not help me put our fence posts back up and says he won't be helping with any costs to do so. He's also told this man, he's not got a problem with what he's doing, its my wife who's got a problem with it and that he is staying out of it.

I now feel like both my husband and this man are ganged up against me, for simply protecting whats on the title deeds. I pay at least 50% of mortgage and bills (sometimes 100%) but now don't have a say over the land/property I'm paying towards keeping.

Please tell me this isn't normal behaviour of my husband. I feel sick to my stomach, our child is hearing these arguments and I absolutely hate how it's upsetting her as well I've mentioned devorce to him, because he's making me out to be a monster for doing nothing wrong. He's quite happy to do so, but won't be paying anything for that either.

I have to get me and our child out of here don't I, surely this isn't normal is it. I feel so broken at this moment, struggling to understand my husband. Not sure who he is anymore.

Is your neighbour causing damage to your land?

Your husband is pathetic. The neighbour is a bully but you need the legal route, you are not asking your husband to go and have a fist fight

If he fixed the fence, is there another issue?

Is your DH aware that if he allows this right of access that currently doesn't exist the neighbour in time could make it a real right of access?

Probably making your property lose value? Cos who wants a neighbour driving over their land everyday. I certainly wouldn't!

You’ll lose respect for your dh over this and I don’t blame you.

He’s out of order and spineless.

I would be fuming at DH for not presenting a united front, the man sounds like a bully, agree your DH may be scared of him?

Police won't be interested unless he damages something, or threatens you. Its a civil matter.

If there is no legal right of access do not give in to your neighbour- he’s a bully- if he’s taking the piss on this it will only get worse
I’d avoid confrontation and take him to court for damage, trespass whatever your solicitor recommends.
Pay a contractor to put up a fence.
Your husband probably wishes it would all just go away but giving in isn’t the answer. Document everything and take it to court.

Your husband is scared of the neighbour but won't admit it or own it so he's deflecting
A good partner should have your back and he doesn't imo☹️

Your H is a wuss and a twat.

Every time the neighbour comes on your land 999- someone invading your property. And eventually courts.

Unless- if it's a small piece of land he uses you could sell it to him?

@tornadoalley they deliberately broke the fence posts blocking access- it is a criminal matter.

Your husband is scared of your neighbour. Hasn't got the balls to stand up to him. And is picking on you like a playground bully to make himself feel better for being a fucking wuss

Get your solicitor to send a letter to him stating that there is no right of ways across your land. I would then call the police every time he came for trespassing

Then I would kick your sorry weak assed husband to the kerb!

You should be very worried about what he's planning to develop on the land he's bought.

Your husband surely doesn't want a new housing estate to enjoy permitted vehicle access across your land.

Is DH always this awful to you or is it possible you have got this out of proportion?

I can't image any situation where DH would gang up against me with an unreasonable neighbour, which makes me wonder if he might have a point, although from hearing your version of events, it doesn't sound like it.

His masculinity is threatened and he's gone all out to protect his ego sacrificing you and your child in the process
He scared of this man and feels humiliated because of that, he's lashing out at you because of the humiliation
a dreadful coward

I wish I could come round and help you. I’d stand up to your neighbour. Absolutely cannot abide bullies. I don’t know what to suggest though. Your husband is afraid. I can understand that but he shouldn’t be bullying you either.

@JaJaDingDong

What is the problem with having your neighbour cross your land for access? As long as he does it considerately? Can't you talk to him and agree a route where he doesn't have to pull down fence posts etc?

Didn't you see: He has been accessing through gates, driving diggers, dumpers over our land.

I don't think anyone would want diggers and dumpers on their land, would they?

What an awful predicament!
I agree you have no option apart from calling the police and going down the legal route.
What is he intending to build on the land he owns? Does he not need planning consents etc? Could you contact the council and ensure that they are aware that he doesn't have any right of access over your land? I would imagine they wouldnt grant any consent if access was across your land.

You're in an awful position op, I really feel for you.
Neighbours like this man can make life hell and for you
H to side with this man is unforgivable in my book.

And to make it worse he's actually told the trespasser
it's ok to take the piss and drive whatever he likes over
your land is ok by him and you're the fly in the ointment who
objects. I couldn't get past that.

As far as your land dispute goes solicitor's letters are a waste of money, this trespasser knows that a letter has no teeth and he'll ignore it.
He probably also knows it will cost you untold thousands to take it through the courts.

In your shoes I'd block his access with something more solid than a fence. Depending how your land lies you need an industrial sized solution to block his access. It seems a fence isn't even inconveniencing him much.

This kind of dispute can seriously make your life hell and in your shoes I'd walk away from the back stabbing arsehole [D]H and the bastard of a neighbour, they deserve each other.

Can you dig a deep trench that he can’t drive over, or put rocks - anything that could damage his vehicle.

I would go and chat with your local community police officer - I think your neighbour’s behaviour is certainly threatening, (which I would assume would be a crime). I think you need an official record of his behaviour.

@CiderJolly. I said unless they do damage.

Fencing and dogs to keep neighbour out?