Whats The Worst Way You've Been Dumped

[IncandescentSilver]

I've been thinking my recent dumping is just about one of the worst out there (cheated on during lockdown when we couldn't see each other, 3 minute phone call to tell me "Sorry but I'm seeing someone else now", 2 months later I had to ask for my stuff back and he refused to meet up but dumped it on my doorstep when he knew I'd be out, and today, 2 1/2 months later, has blocked me on WhatsApp, which I hardly ever use, even though I haven't contacted him since asking for my stuff back weeks ago - it seems to be in response to my changing my profile photo on there to a very inoffensive head and shoulders shot, suitable for work contacts.

It was actually so bad its cheering me up to process it by thinking about it - his behaviour seems so at odds to what type of person I thought he was, its almost funny, in a black comedy sort of way.

That sounds horrible, OP. But the 'black comedy' perspective is a useful one. Such appalling behaviour is laughable, in a dark, dark way.

I was once dumped very suddenly by someone I'd been in a blissfully loving relationship with. Less than a week before, we'd been daydreaming about our future together, talking about how glad we were to have found each other. Then, suddenly, she could 'never be with someone so passive aggressive and mean as [me]', so she dumped me. By text. On Valentine's Day. I'd just received the romantic gift in the post that she'd clearly ordered a day or two before.

She'd never mentioned my being passive aggressive before, and I hadn't been mean to her. I've never seen her since, and I still have no idea what happened in her head.

How strange to block you after so long with no contact!

My worst was a long term boyfriend who nipped to the shop one day for loo roll. Never came back, by the time I realised he had been a while, he had blocked any method of contact. Very strange man.

The most annoying thing was he had my bank card. I never got my card back. Or the loo roll.

Worst one: was in the pub with my then boyfriend. He then went over to another group including a girl we both knew. Chatted to her for ages. I was starting to feel annoyed ... and then they both got up and left together, arm in arm! Turned out he had started seeing her when I'd been on holiday a couple of weeks before but "didn't know how to tell" me so let me witness that instead.

Wow, there are some horrors out there and I don't feel quite so bad now.

honeylulu that is just amazingly awful. In fact, they all are.

Yes, it is strange to block me after 2 1/2 months with almost no contact. But this is the same man who has acted lovelorn around me for years and did all sorts of strange things, such as turning up where he knew I would be at a certain time, just to walk straight past me and ignore me! So its par for the course really.

I mistook it for being some kind of romantic, maybe French or similar, style drama with high passion. And it was until he cheated and ended it!

Ghosted me for 5 days. I sent a loving message everyday, knew he was struggling so was happy to give him space. Finally got a reply saying he wasn't ready to talk yet and told him I qt least deserved to know if our 2.5 year relationship was over. He confirmed it was. Then told me he hates my dc and didn't want a family.

That was Nov last year. Just found out his has a new gf, who has a child already and is pregnant. Fucking twat.

My partner of 9 years and father of my dc also dumped me by text.

Here's my friend's story... Married for 5 years, she thought their marriage was wonderful and she was very, very happy. Out of the blue, her husband told her he wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. It was Christmas Eve, and they were at her parent's house for a family party. About 30 people were there and they were staying overnight. True story. Of course, he was cheating.

6 year relationship, lived together. He was stepdad to my 10 yo son. We viewed a house to buy on the friday, on the Monday afternoon, while I was at a business lunch, My Mum called me and asked if I'd lost my key. I said no. She then asked why he had dropped the key onto hers then, he never answered his phone. I picked my son up, got home and he'd cleared his stuff out and took half of everything .Took the day off of work, got his Mum and mate round and they helped him move out (half of the saucepans, left me the bbq tools but took the bbq etc, they even drunk 2 of the 4 beers left in the fridge) Took one dog , left me the other. No note, nothing. Luckily it was my house (everything in my name) never heard from him for 5 months. When he then text to say he felt like a wanker and he missed me and was sorry. Prick.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander I'd overheard my ex having a conversation with her son a few weeks before. He was going to dump his girlfriend by text, and my ex was telling him all about how that's disrespectful, and how, if you're ending a relationship, you at least owe the person a face-to-face meet up to do so, and a text is not good enough.

Then she did it to me!

@Eckhart its so disrespectful and cowardly isn't it!

That's probably the worst one because of how it affected my son, however ny last Relationship was abusive and ended traumatically, violence. Yeah I can pick them. While I count that as my worst relationship I cant count it as my worst break up because it taught me so much, about strengh, reselliance and it was the thing that made me go counselling. Different person now, single though, funnily enough. Zero tolerance to any kind of fuckery. If I was this person 15 ears ago I wouldnt have dated none of the men I did, I'm a warrior now

Well I'm better off for sure, but I was devastated at the time. We'd just moved into a rented flat that I could ill afford alone. We were unpacking, he popped out to go to the shop and never came back. Ghastly man.

I think its a certain type of person who dumps cruelly. In retrospect, signs were probably there - my ex is a socially avoidant type person who struggles with inter-personal relationships and doesn't have a lot of friends.

Even as a very gauche and shy 19 year old student, I managed to dump my then boyfriend of 2 months nicely - I waited til well after Christmas, phoned him up, explained it as kindly as I could and talked to him for a while. He took it well, I didn't feel mean, he didn't feel treated cruelly. I don't see the point in all this blocking and flouncing.

@ALittleBitConfused1 I'd have texted back "good!"

How did the dog take it? Bereft, or happy to be the only one?

I've been ghosted at least three times. It's the pits! First time it happened was even before mobile phones. He was a serving soldier and we communicated via phone box calls and letters (remember them?)
Then it all stopped.

To this day I don't know whether he got tired of me or something happened to him in action!

Hearing him being arrested in the next room.

@IncandescentSilver I think you're right about signs being there, but the thing is, if we felt we needed to be on the lookout for signs of cruelty in them, we wouldn't be in a relationship with them in the first place. Decent people aren't constantly expecting cruelty from those who purport to love them, which renders the signs invisible without hindsight.

@IncandescentSilver

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

I was ghosted once. Chatted for quite a while and ready to meet up and then he vanished in a puff of smoke. Ghosting the cowards way

Whilst I was at Uni was seeing an older guy.
(early 40's). I'd been dating him for about 4 months.
Told me be he had a friend I'd love and who'd like to meet me.
On the way to the quiet country pub miles away from the city he showed me photos of this guy (40's) and told me all about him.
I asked if this guy had a partner who was joining us and he said he didn't and would just be us three meeting for a drink. .
We arrive at the pub and meet this guy who made small talk. Atmosphere very strained.
BF gets up to use the loo. 30 min later he still has'nt appeared and I'm sitting really freaked out with this strange man when I receive a text.
BF has decided 'we're not working' so he's set me up with a friend ( a very weird friend- and left me stranded.). Apparently this friend was expecting me to sleep at his house that night and he'd drive me back the next morning..

@ALittleBitConfused1 Much the same happened to me. I was working a Sunday, from 8am to 6pm. Went to work (which was about a 5 minute walk from home), then live-in partner didn't call by at lunchtime like he usually did...didn't think much of it, as it was a Sunday. Came home at 6.05pm, opened the door, and wondered why there was a key on the floor...he'd got his 'best' mate (who hated me for taking his mate away from him) to come around and they'd stripped the flat of all his belongings and he'd moved back to his mother's (we were both 24). He'd also taken a stereo he'd bought me as a birthday present less than a month earlier. I got in touch with him (this was pre mobiles, so I had to ring his mother's...that was a joy) made him bring back my stereo, made him pay the full rent for 2 months (I couldn't afford to live there on my own) and also pay for the new bed we'd just had delivered....literally on the Friday of the same week. Never told him I persuaded the bed shop to take it back and give me a full refund...saw him about 3 years later, he tried to restart the relationship - I let him think he was getting somewhere, then moved and didn't tell him. Still like to imagine turning up at my flat and me not being there...

The one that was most painful was a guy who looking back I realize was emotionally and verbally abusive after we split up, and physically/sexually abusive (ignoring my safeword) when we were together. He had a temper all along which I found very stressful as I'd had enough of that from my father as a child.

It was a BDSM relationship and I was the sub. I said to him that I needed to see him more often for various reasons. He said that my asking for something I needed was a 'fundamental misunderstanding of our relationship' and uncollared me. As always until recently, what I wanted to say was on the tip of the tongue but I wasn't assertive enough to say it. I wanted to say that I might be a sub but that doesn't mean I'm not a person with needs that I can ask to be met.

After we split he called things I did to try and win him back what they mostly completely weren't- being friendly/flirty was 'passive aggressive, sending him something I thought he would like was being an 'attention whore.'

He also used things I'd said as ammunition, such as I'd said I found it hard to keep friendships (I have autistic traits but didn't know that then) and he said I was 'socially inept.'

He would flirt with me over text in the morning, then when I responded in kind later, he knew I have bipolar and he gaslighted me, he tried to say that me responding to what he was doing was based on nothing and ' concerned face' and a sign I was insane.

I didn't know why this relationship effected me for such a long time, 6 months of brooding over it and blaming myself, when it had only been an LDR of a couple of months. It's only recently I've realized it was because he was so verbally/emotionally abusive.

Sorry for the downbeat story! At least I didn't have to bother with the amount of BDSM anymore, beatings etc, which had become very boring.

Here's one where the bloke was more mockworthy looking back, one of the twattiest ones.

I didn't feel like sex one evening when he was visiting and he told the friends we were staying with that I was 'a tease' (How retro! He was a much older guy) and left. I went to the station with him and he called me a 'psychic vampire.' I asked if I would see him again and he said 'Maybe- if you're lucky.' Looking back there were a lot of signs he was a narc- he was 47 and he'd refer to himself as 'the alpha male.'

Wtf spied!

I was in a semi-serious relationship...talked marriage, living together, met my kids, been on a family holiday, I was smitten...then I got ill. As it turned out I was quite seriously ill and had a horrible rash on my face for a while. He said I didn't look 'pretty' with that and would not cuddle me, and then stopped calling around so often. Then I fainted and was in hospital having tests for a few days. He never visited me. A diagnosis was found and I told him I would explain when he arrived to pick me up. He text to say he would come to the ward to get me, and then I waited, waited, waited...got a lift in the end as he stopped replying to my messages or calls. He ghosted me for 3 months, and didn't even know what was wrong with me. Told me his father had cancer and he was stressed when he reappeared...it was a lie to elicit sympathy and try to borrow money. He just didn't want a partner with health issues, but didn't have the guts nor courtesy to tell me. The silence in that waiting room at the hospital awaiting his arrival is something I will never forget. In hindsight, I realise I dodged a massive bullet but felt awful at the time.

All of these are awful.

I think you're right about signs being there, but the thing is, if we felt we needed to be on the lookout for signs of cruelty in them, we wouldn't be in a relationship with them in the first place. Decent people aren't constantly expecting cruelty from those who purport to love them, which renders the signs invisible without hindsight.

@Eckhart Looking for red flags is what we have to do with anyone to know when to dump them at the right time if need be, and avoid being abused. Unfortunately I/many of us don't start out with this discernment early in life though, we start out with optimism/naivety.

@Spied How did you get home?

@theprincessmittens Well done for how you handled it. xx

@scoobydoo1971 Wanker!