Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Whats The Worst Way You've Been Dumped

116 replies

IncandescentSilver · 28/08/2020 18:20

I've been thinking my recent dumping is just about one of the worst out there (cheated on during lockdown when we couldn't see each other, 3 minute phone call to tell me "Sorry but I'm seeing someone else now", 2 months later I had to ask for my stuff back and he refused to meet up but dumped it on my doorstep when he knew I'd be out, and today, 2 1/2 months later, has blocked me on WhatsApp, which I hardly ever use, even though I haven't contacted him since asking for my stuff back weeks ago - it seems to be in response to my changing my profile photo on there to a very inoffensive head and shoulders shot, suitable for work contacts.

It was actually so bad its cheering me up to process it by thinking about it - his behaviour seems so at odds to what type of person I thought he was, its almost funny, in a black comedy sort of way.

OP posts:
rooarsome · 29/08/2020 10:03

Going back a few years- I was in a long distance relationship and had gone to visit my boyfriend. He had trouble performing on our last night together but it wasn't a big deal for me, so we just cuddled and watched a film. The next day he saw me off on my train, kissed me goodbye etc. When I got home he had blocked me on everything.
A friend of mine who lived with him told me it was because he felt guilty about the night before, but despite trying to reach out to him I never heard from him again- he moved out of my friend's house a month or so later.

ALLIS0N · 29/08/2020 10:20

@Oldbutstillgotit

I’m sorry. Her poor family and children.

Sorry for your own loss too. it’s hard to lose a good friend.

How do these men ever think that their children will forgive them?

Bassettgirl · 29/08/2020 10:21

My ex told me over the phone that he had accidentally slept with a girl at work and was now in a relationship with her. Except he didn't actually tell me, he just said nothing, sighing down the phone for twenty minutes, until I figured it out.

Another ex told me he was going on holiday with a woman at work. She had the holiday booked but had broken up with her partner so had asked him to go, as a friend. He then expected me to be relaxed about the possibility that they would sleep together!

Malteserdiet · 29/08/2020 10:38

I’d been with a boyfriend for a couple of years before we both went to different universities and we were making a long distance relationship work. About a year in, he had to go to Prague for a couple of months as part of his course. I went on my first solo flight ever to go and stay with him for a few days half way through. He was acting fairly normally but I did get a stand offish vibe from one of the girls out there with him. Came home, didn’t hear from him and couldn’t get hold of him for a whole week which seemed odd. Then he phoned me one night and ended our 3 year “first love” relationship by telling me he didn’t want to be with me anymore because he’d started to think he could do better Shock and that he’d met someone else (the girl in Prague of course). I was devastated at the time but now can’t believe I went out with him in the first place Envy.

I got my own back a few months later on when he came to pick up the horrible duffle coat he was weirdly obsessed with but had left in my car. My lovely mum and I took the coat on a little trip to the beach with her two German shepherd dogs a few days before and we used it as the dogs towel/seat cover. We then left it damp to go a little mildew spattered and put it in a carrier bag on the doorstep for the delightful shit to pick up Grin

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 29/08/2020 10:46

@bassettgirl

accidentally slept with a girl at work?
Hmm

I can understand accidently leaving something personal in a photocopier but not something that personal being accidently left in a girl at work ! Confused

MikeEhrmantraut · 29/08/2020 10:46

When I was much younger I lived with my ex, been together 4 years and our wedding was booked for the next summer. He'd been acting odd for a week or so, I confronted him and he said he wasn't sure how he felt about getting married and needed some time apart to reassess. Like a mug I moved out for a 2 week period, left most my stuff there in our joint rented house and moved back with my parents.

One day on social media it popped up "in a relationship with". Some woman I'd never heard of. I then noticed he'd sneakily removed all my friends and any photos in his albums or posts that featured me. He must have made them private as it was all still "tagged" on my profile. Couldn't believe it, he'd been round my parents during the 2 week period to see me as boyfriend/girlfriend.

I called him, he was a complete wet blanket about it. Told him I was driving to our house to get my stuff, as I knew he'd panic being in work and not able to hide any further evidence. Let myself in, all my stuff had been hidden in the spare room, her toiletries were on my dresser and in the bathroom, and the cheeky fucker had kept anything of mine that was decent and could be passed off as his out on display! Turned out he'd told his family and mates we'd split up amicably a couple of months before and I was having trouble "getting over his new relationship".

I learned a lot from that relationship, never do the pick me dance, treat myself with respect. I got a random 4am email a year later apologising. Stupid man.

vampirethriller · 29/08/2020 12:50

Took me for dinner on my 21st, then told me he had to go to the hospital straight after because a one night stand (whilst we were together) was about to have his baby.

Blackcatfan1 · 29/08/2020 13:04

@SoulofanAggron we're either of them called David by chance...? 🤔

j712adrian · 29/08/2020 13:48

Bloke here. Not entirely on point, but I’ve just ended my relationship of 3 years due to being threatened by OH’s nephew at a small family do - he’d been on a 12 hour drinking binge. I felt comprehensively disposed of by her family. Red flag.

I left her at 4am Without saying goodbye once I’d sobered up.

Her stuff at my house went in the general waste skip at the recycling centre the morning after.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 29/08/2020 14:01

By email in the middle of a working day.

I had a complete meltdown and locked myself in the ladies, one of my colleagues threatened to kick the door in. I didn't eat for 3 days - it was the only way to get any control over anything.

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat - that is genius. GrinGrinGrin

Aminuts23 · 29/08/2020 14:02

I got dumped by an ex I’d been with just under a year, while we were abroad on holiday. He told me (while we were there) that he’d told me a few weeks before it was over (he hadn’t) and we’d be going away just as friends!! He got spectacularly drunk abroad and told me I’d been somebody quite pleasant to shag for a few months. What a prick!
He had of course met somebody else I found out many months later.

Bassettgirl · 29/08/2020 14:58

@whowouldhavethoughtthat

Quite! Grin A new year snog got out of hand apparently, all very innocently accidental...! He had been gaslighting me about their friendship for a few months beforehand.

yetmorecrap · 29/08/2020 17:20

Aminuts- I remember reading your posts about this at the time , as I was on holiday too.

cantarina · 04/09/2020 18:49

New Year's Eve - just before midnight while we were staying at my parents. I was heartbroken, it was out of the blue and the timing was rotten, I remember trying not to cry as we cheered the new year in. He went back to our flat the next day, I confided in my mum that it was all over.
Then he changed his mind. I was over the moon! We then had a pretty up and down year or so and unsurprisingly he dumped me again out of the blue. By this time I was ready to draw a line under it and when he changed his mind and actually proposed to try and win me back I was not for turning! He moped around the flat for nearly three months before he moved out.

All's well that ends well.

Greeneyes78 · 04/09/2020 18:58

it was a normal morning, both getting ready for work, said goodbye see you later. got a phone call in work a couple of hours later asking me where i wanted the taxi to drop off my stuff.

i married him after that!

SoulofanAggron · 04/09/2020 19:26

@Blackcatfan1 Shock The bloke who called me a 'tease' when I didn't give him sex on demand was a Dave, it's unlikely it's the same bloke though. If you know of him through the occult scene then maybe it's the same guy.

Sadly wankerish men are not rare.

sparklefarts · 04/09/2020 19:38

@Greeneyes78

it was a normal morning, both getting ready for work, said goodbye see you later. got a phone call in work a couple of hours later asking me where i wanted the taxi to drop off my stuff.

i married him after that!

You married him?!? Are you still married?
sapnupuas · 04/09/2020 19:55

@GotBeatenUp

Hearing him being arrested in the next room.
I have a friend who was on the bus to her boyfriends house. The nearest stop was just after his flat. As the bus went past she saw him being handcuffed.
nutty123 · 04/09/2020 20:01

Walked in from work, he was sat on the chair drunk. Told me he was leaving after 17 years. We’d just gone through ivf and I was 12 weeks pregnant. He upped and staggered out. I didn’t even get to take my coat off!

Horsesforcourses23 · 04/09/2020 20:21

I've two. One serves me right tbh.

  1. full ghost went from a 10pm text saying how madly in love he was to boom nothing, blocked on everything.

  2. On and off relationship ish, spent months winning me back, speaking to friends, writing love letters, caved in got back together. Together for a few months very happy, Went away for the weekend, and whilst driving home he said "do you know why footballers cheat on like their stunning super model wives? It's because they think they want to be married to that person but theres normally someone they like more"

I asked if that was him telling me he was cheating on me and he said "yeah sorry"

Full Homer Simpson "Doh"

I laugh now but at the time I just couldn't believe it,genuinely humiliated. He literally rocked up to where I worked the week after with his new GF.

It's horrible OP, people are weird and I find some people very cowardly!

Dazzedandconfused · 04/09/2020 20:27

My bf of over 2 years ghosted me for nearly 3 weeks then when I went to his house to confront him literally said nothing just handed me my house key and a bag of things. I then got a patronising text whilst I was driving home saying he was sorry it went down that way and hoped there was no hard feelings Hmm

edwinbear · 04/09/2020 20:36

FWB of a year, but he knew I was crazy about him and hoping things would progress to more. He was keen to have a threesome, I dutifully agreed, he said the day after he got back from a short break would work. I was sceptical about this as the only reliable thing about him was his flakiness, but he assured me he’d be there.

I set everything up (no mean feat) and waited like a muppet, to hear from him the night he got back, to finalise things for the following evening. Nada. Next morning, (the day we were supposed to be having this threesome he was definitely up for), I sent him (what I thought) was an enticing pic of my boobs in a silky negligee thing. Nada.

A week later I sent a pretty cross message asking what the fuck happened to him. No apology, just an explanation that he’d had a nervous breakdown on his holiday and not to question him because he ‘wasn’t in a good place’. He’d managed to post a cheery ‘Happy Birthday’ message (complete with winky emoji) on his mates FB wall though, just before I sent him a pic of my tits - maybe that’s what caused his breakdown Hmm.

overwork · 04/09/2020 20:51

I had a long term but long distance relationship that I realised was over when I saw a load of pics of him and his new GF on SM.

But my favourite was the fling who invited me to his birthday drinks. His GF (yes, that surprised me too) was also there and had baked him a cake. Didn't really know what else to do so I let him lead me to the opposite end of the table from her (whilst whispering in my ear could I please stay away from him until 10pm when she would go home). I even had to eat some of the bloody cake FFS.
Anyway it got to a point where I could feasibly escape, he ran after me and caught me up in the doorway to the bar, and again asked me to stay till 10pm.
I walked home in tears and called my best boy friend, who agreed that the birthday boy was a tit. These days that boy friend is actually my boyfriend and bloody lovely he is too.

Some of these stories are gut wrenching, I'm glad in most cases you are over the worst of it now.

goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 04/09/2020 23:11

A lifetime ago, I was dumped by my first proper boyfriend. We'd been together 4 years. He insisted on living with me whilst I was at university, which was a shame as he hated students and student parties and in hindsight ruined much of my student life. In my final year, I went to the launderette to put on some washing. When I returned to my room, he had left - no explanation- nothing. I never heard from him or saw him again. This was in the days before mobile phones and you had to queue up for a phone box. I was utterly heartbroken. It was such a cruel thing to do and still makes me sad all these years later.

MimiArm · 04/09/2020 23:21

Ex fiancé left for work one day, said the routine "love you, have a good day, see you later". Never saw him again. He sent his nasty sister to collect his stuff. Oh, and our wedding was imminent, invites out, etc. He lives with his parents again (at the age of 51). Needless to say, I was left to cancel everything once the realisation dawned that he wasn't coming back.

Happy to report though that he did me a massive favour and now I'm about to marry my soulmate 😁