Whats The Worst Way You've Been Dumped

[IncandescentSilver]

I've been thinking my recent dumping is just about one of the worst out there (cheated on during lockdown when we couldn't see each other, 3 minute phone call to tell me "Sorry but I'm seeing someone else now", 2 months later I had to ask for my stuff back and he refused to meet up but dumped it on my doorstep when he knew I'd be out, and today, 2 1/2 months later, has blocked me on WhatsApp, which I hardly ever use, even though I haven't contacted him since asking for my stuff back weeks ago - it seems to be in response to my changing my profile photo on there to a very inoffensive head and shoulders shot, suitable for work contacts.

It was actually so bad its cheering me up to process it by thinking about it - his behaviour seems so at odds to what type of person I thought he was, its almost funny, in a black comedy sort of way.

I’d only been married a few weeks. In the morning discussed what have for dinner. I went out in my lunch break and bought the food. Walked home from work and the door was jammed. Called the caretaker who looked at me very oddly while he got the door open. When I got inside he’d cleared out all his stuff including some precious photos of mine and my underwear. I had no idea where he’d gone. I bumped into him in a gay bar about a year later. Turned out he’d run off with his boyfriend. Bizarrely he was so pleased to see me and I didn’t know what to say. I introduced him to my boyfriend. He didn’t introduce me to his. We were still married at that point. Never seen or heard of him since.

Remembrance Day 2011.

Other half goes out to the pub, leaving me at home with our 22 month and 4 month old children.

Doesn't come home next morning, I open the bedroom curtains (at the front of the house, we lived in a bungalow) it was a beautiful bright Sunday morning. 08:00.

See my other half lying fast asleep, covered in mud and twigs, on the front lawn.

Drag him inside, nick his phone to type a message to his ex, as it was their son's birthday.

Loads of messages on his phone, he'd met a woman in the pub, gone home, shagged her, and then tried to get home.

So, he dumped me by screwing another woman, but I took photos of everything on his phone, and then waited til he had woken up, and told him to pack his bags and get the fuck out of the house.

Best. Day. Ever - was the best thing to ever happen to our little family!

@SoulofanAggron I quite agree, and have taken a long time to get my boundaries where they need to be. Many of my friends have never needed such relationship education, though, having had a few non-compatible relationships and then settling down to get married with someone compatible. They don't watch out for cruelty.

Was seeing a guy for about 2 years and all was great.

One Saturday afternoon I rang him to ask what we were doing that evening. He replied that he was feeling really tired after a long week of work, so was going to do some paperwork then have an early night. Fair enough.
I decided I would go do the big food shop as my children were at their dad's.
Just parked up at Tesco and who do I see walking out of there, all dressed up and carrying a big bouquet of flowers

I got out of the car and said "enjoy your evening"
He looked mortified, and almost ran to his car.
Just as he reached it he shouted back at me "I'll ring you when I get in later"
He did ring. Unsurpringly I didn't answer.

@perfumeistooexpensive Bloody hell. Imagine his boyfriend saying to him 'Who was that?' and him saying 'My wife.' The mind boggles. And you were newly married? Jeez.

No idea where those flowers came from in my post

Was 19 and engaged to be married. Was talking with him on the phone one night when his mother picked up and told me he no longer wanted to see me.

Things worked out for the best but I was humiliated for a long time.

We had been together best part of a year when his parents were in a terrible car crash. His step dad dead and his mum severely brain damaged. We spoke daily and met up - I sat and held his hand while he sobbed about his mum.

His mum could no longer transfer the money for the deposit of the house he was moving into so I offered to help him out. Then he decided it was too much being in a relationship while he needed to look after his mum so he broke it off.

Luckily I never lent him the money as it turned out that the car crash was a lie and he was actually moving in with a woman and a four month old baby she says is his. Pretended his mum was brain damaged to try to con some money out of me !

Yep, when we met he forgot to mention another woman was 5 months pregnant with a baby she says is his. We went on a lovely weekend break abroad when he had a 10 day old baby he'd forgotten to tell me about. That still makes me feel physically sick when I think about it.

Turned out that's not the only child he lied about - he actually has 5 kids with 4 different women....

The sexual element had really gone in our relationship-- we'd been staying with his family long term and he refused to do it at all. Even though we were on a separate floor of the house! As soon as we were at my parents he tried to pressure me into it, with no discussion about what had been going on. I refused.

Coming home on a packed train (it was NYE, we had seats but there were people literally leaning over us) he suddenly wanted to discuss it. I was so embarrassed I cried and he got louder and said if I wouldn't talk about it with him right then and there we were over. Everyone around us looking at me all sympathetic. I was mortified.

Many of my friends have never needed such relationship education, though, having had a few non-compatible relationships and then settling down to get married with someone compatible. They don't watch out for cruelty.

@Eckhart If they'd watched out for red flags of whatever kind they might've been able to avoid some of the relationships without a good outcome/finished them earlier. Cruelty is one red flag but there's also control and all sorts of other different stuff that can raise its head.

@Furrybutts Twat!

A long time ago before mobiles. I called the love of my life to find out why he was late. Him : I’m not coming over
Me: ( Cheerfully) that’s ok see you tomorrow
Him: you don’t understand. I’m not coming over ever.
And that was it. No explanation. I was devastated. We had been together for 3 years and I thought we would be getting married.
Never saw him again. 15 months later I met my now DH and that was back in 1980.

@SoulofanAggron Yes. My point is that some people don't have boundaries and get educated into having them by having poor relationships/bad break ups. Others don't have poor relationships/bad break ups. They just don't have the misfortune to encounter abuse/cruelty in their relationships.

Was living with a guy, been together about 18m. He worked nights, came home one morning in a funny mood but said was ok. Tried calling a few times during the day and his phone was off which wasn’t that unusual when he’d been working. But my spidey senses were tingling.
Got home from work at 4, he’d moved out. Left his key. No note, blocked me in all ways of contacting him. Never heard from him or saw him again. Very, very odd.

I think I could win this one hands down! Partner of 11 years and father of my kids cheated 2 months (most probably before as well I suspect!) after I had our youngest baby - with one of the mums in my kids class. Both continued to lie about it for a few months, had to face them at school etc was awful! Been really vile since the break up think him not paying, messing with contact, shitty messages from the woman and him to the point my friends think I should take out a harassment order on him. Just really awkward all round to be honest and not a nice situation for me or the kids to be placed in.

However... a lucky escape I would say! Have now met an amazing man who has shown me what it's like to be loved unconditionally treats me right and is just a nice person and can't do enough for me or the kids. Still can't accept how nice he is to me sometimes! (After years of really what I would now say was emotional abuse and selfishness from ex!)

Everything happens for a reason! I probably wouldn't have left and now I am 100% happy instead of putting up with stuff for the sake of the kids! It will all work out I promise! ❤️

Now that I can laugh about it...

I had been with my now ex for 4 years, lived with him, we had 4 animals together (including a dog and a cat), had planned a future etc. We'd been out for the day with both of our families to watch a play, go for drinks and food.
We got home late at night, he was trying to start an argument so I left him to it and went up to bed. While in bed I heard the front gate open and close and then .. he disappeared. He ghosted me. I tried messaging, calling... Nothing.
He took with him ... his world cup sticker book (he was in his mid 20s) and disappeared off the face of the earth.

I find it funny 2 years later but at the time I was absolutely devastated that he could do that to me.

I was dumped two weeks ago via a text message at 7 am - the message woke me up! I didnt have to get up until 9 am. But I dont think even that can beat the first one.

@SoulofanAggron

This was 18 years ago and I paid £60 for a cab. As I waited Enrique was put on the jukebox and I was serenaded with 'Hero'.
I kid you not.

World Cup sticker book?

There are no words.

Eckhart @IncandescentSilver I think you're right about signs being there, but the thing is, if we felt we needed to be on the lookout for signs of cruelty in them, we wouldn't be in a relationship with them in the first place. Decent people aren't constantly expecting cruelty from those who purport to love them, which renders the signs invisible without hindsight.

Absolutely, and I don't want to turn into that sort of cynical person. With the exception of some obvious cases - I've turned down an "interested party" because he showed all the signs of being an **se.

I'd also hate to be that angry person blocking their ex on WhatsApp 2 1/2 months after the break up in order to get the last word in!

Maybe, being charitable, lockdown has a lot to answer for by making people more stressed and behave more badly than normal!

I always think the best thing to do, even when you are distraught to the point of being barely able to function, is to be decent and polite. Because when you feel better in however many months it takes, you will really regret acting like an **se.

@Eckhart I know. Not a phone charger, not his work suits, not his cat... A sticker book

I was madly in love with someone but he had moved to another country to do a professional training course. He went from asking me to marry him during a visit, to ghosting me within 2 weeks. He refused to fly over (short flight) to tell me face to face when I eventually got hold of him. He actually turned up on my doorstep several years later and got the shock of his life to see I was married with a toddler. No doubt thought I was still pining for him. No idea how he knew I still lived there.

I work with someone who actually flew across the world to tell his fiancée face to face it was over as he had met someone else. He at least has some integrity.

On my birthday the bastard said here are all ur presents from my mum, my sister and my family. Here are the presents from me ... I opened them, said thanks etc

He then said we needed to talk about the future ... and he no longer wanted to be with me.

I was gobsmacked to say the least. I think we did get back together for a little while however several years later he married an ex-friend of mine!

Other than this weird dumping situation, he was actually a really nice guy

By email, early on a Sunday morning. After an almost 4 year relationship.

After texting the usual a good night, love you loads text the night before.

I always think the best thing to do, even when you are distraught to the point of being barely able to function, is to be decent and polite. Because when you feel better in however many months it takes, you will really regret acting like an **se.

I don't think it's being an arse to tell someone to fuck off when they're being a twat, for instance. I wish I'd done it, fucked them off much earlier, with a lot of my exes.

But you could just tell them that their behaviour doesn't sit well with you, that you're upset, and you're ending the relationship. Keeps your side of the fence respectable, at least.

My son's father took him out for a "father/son" day - then was forced to call me (by his mother) to tell me that his girlfriend had given birth to their baby that morning, and he was taking our son (but not DD) to meet his new sister.

Sometimes I wonder if ex-MIL hadn't forced his hand... would I have known about the new member of the extended family? Our son had told me a year earlier about "Daddy's new friend", and been branded a liar by Ex. And I don't think that his parents/siblings knew anything about his "new friend" until the day she gave birth... but I could be wrong.

It stung for a long time, though. However, "new friend" and I get on okay these days, and the baby whose birth heralded the end of a 20 year on/off relationship? Is almost 12 - and an absolute joy. She's blameless in all of this, and I believe that her mother was genuinely oblivious to me/my children when she entered into a relationship with ex (or she thought he and I were permanently over). It's just ex and his disregard for not only my feelings, but those of the children he helped raise... and (more importantly) the way in which he branded our toddler son a liar.

I'll never forgive him for that.