My husband is an only child. A mummy's boy. His mum (a single mum) has been very generous with giving us money each month, as well as a larger amount to help with a deposit on our house, and other amounts at random times. My husband and his mum openly talk about finances, and I feel like he kind of runs the show with her money advising her of what to do in terms of re-mortgaging, potentially selling and downsizing her house, etc. I also feel that my husband has asked directly (and pressured her) for some of the money she has given us over the years. She is a very selfless person and would always want to help others rather than herself. She's very careful with money. Very rarely eats out, never goes on holiday or to movies, or days out and never does anything nice for herself. Although we live what I consider to be a very comfortable lifestyle, we still struggle with bills sometimes. She helps with some of our DC's school fees or uniform costs, provides us with a few hundred pounds a month from a second pension she has, and would try and help more if he asked. It's very generous of her.
Now the issue is that his mum (single income and now retired) makes far less than what my parents make. Yet somehow she works some voodoo magic to come up with money whenever we need it. My parents have worked hard (as has his mum) and raised us kids comfortably, and now they are retired and living their lives and enjoying holidays, cruises, dinners out, films each week, improvements to the house etc. My husband seems annoyed with this and the fact that they don't openly just hand out money to us like his mum does.
He has asked me before to ask them for money when times have been tight, but I just don't feel right doing this. Partly because my dad and I have had a slightly rocky relationship in the past and I don't know how or want to approach the situation to ask them for money. I do not discuss money with them at all. I don't want it to create friction. But husband gets into a strop with me about it and yells at me basically out of frustration that they have more money than his mum and are enjoying their retirement. I think he feels entitled to it. I have explained to him that I'm uncomfortable asking them for money, and to me it's not worth creating any potential arguments or conflict with them. But I know he's still resentful, and occasionally still throws it in my face during an argument.
Does he have the right to be upset by this, or is he being totally unreasonable? Or am I being unreasonable by not asking my parents in the first place?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
MNHQ have commented on this thread
Relationships
To not want to ask my parents for money?
BrokenArrows · 28/08/2020 15:05
Very rarely eats out, never goes on holiday or to movies, or days out and never does anything nice for herself
She raised her son singlehandedly and she’s still giving him all her spare cash 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.