Friend joked about how many people I had slept with?

[Userwtdb]

I’ve slept with 7 people and I’m 30.

My friend made a joke today that I had been around the block. I feel horrible about it and while three of these were non starter relationships and people I saw maybe 3 months ish, the other four were significant relationships to me that lasted a few years each.

Am I being sensitive here?

Maybe she’s jealous. If 7 by 30 is round the block, it means her number is much much lower. Perhaps she wishes she could have done mote herself.

Still a nasty thing to say. Just thinking that if she’s your close friend, she must have redeeming qualities such that an occasional slip of the tongue might be overlooked?

I've been with 7 and I'm in my 40s. The only friend who has been with more is maybe around 15-20, same age. I wouldn't dream of saying she had been round the block! Your friend is either bitchy or just poor with her choice of wording! Has she had many herself?

That expression is horrible and misogynistic. And even if it wasn't 7 sexual partners isn't up there. I'd expect its below average if anything based on my friends. I was expecting a much, much higher number. One of my friends had slept with over 20 people by early twenties, who cares, they were practicing safe sex and happy with their life. I care about my friends wellbeing physical and emotional, the number doesn't mean a thing.

I had slept with 15-20 at that age. And no one has ever given a shit. She is weird. (Also regret a few of them but not the end of the world!)

According to one survey the average no of partners is 7.2 so if you sleep with 0.2 of a man you'll be totally average!!

Everyone has their own sensitivities about this. I'm still with the first man I slept with (I'm 53) and probably wouldn't tell people IRL as they't think it was weird and boring!!

7 is nothing.
And what does it matter?
Safe, consensual sex is just a thing we do, it makes no difference about the numbers.

I have a male friend who went on about not wanting girls that had slept with too many guys.

I countered with what if a girl had slept with only one guy but had done everything with them, how would he feel then?
He shut up.

Your friend is a bit of a dick.

dear god, how many people anybody has slept with has no bearing whatsoever on what kind of person they are

what matters is that sex is free, consensual and fun, and nobody has gotten hurt, humiliated, manipulated or coerced while they had it

the rest is a matter of personal choice, as relevant to morality as what kind of ice-cream you prefer

So working it out then

16 (age of consent, not age of first time necessarily) until now is 14 years.
7 men in 14 years = on average 1 every 2 years.

You've barely reached the end of the drive let alone "gone round the block".

My friend once confessed to me that she had slept with over 100 men, I didn't cae a jot.

Then she slept with my ex DH, we quietly fell out then

*care

She sounds charming. Who cares ? Is she jealous?

Whaaat!? 50-100 might be considered 'around the block'. But hey, maybe it's a good neighbourhood and it's been a fun block to spend time in.

You've barely started. Surely your riposte would be (sad face, head tilt) 'it must feel so strange to have married the first guy you ever slept with and have little or nothing to compare to. Don't you live with a constant sneaking suspicion that the grass is always greener?'

Or whatever. Cos she's being a cow.

Or just 'You what? Do you know what 'around the block means? More to the point, why are trying to insult me?'

I'm somewhere near 40 at the age of 29. Most of that was accomplished before 21. Tell your friend to piss off.

She is no friend. It really isn't any of her business, it is your life.

I would be distancing myself, she does not have your best interests at heart. Even said in a joke, it is not kind or funny.

Your friend is a knob.

And 7 at 30 is a low number. Don't worry about it

I genuinely thought you were going to say her joke was about how low your number was...

Who cares how many people you’ve slept with? As long as you keep yourself safe, do as you please.

7 is nothing, are you sure she wasn't being sarcastic

Out of curiosity I once googled something like, average number of sexual partners for xx year old woman.

There are studies on the internet.
Offer to google for her age group. Might shut her judgy mouth up.

7 isn't to the end of the road, let alone round the whole block.

Does she always put you down?

My number is even less, clearly I haven’t even left the door step!

Is it fuck way above what's normal.

Tbh who cares how many people you've slept with, as long as they were all safe and consensual. Tell your friend to mind her own business

It's annoying that people still attach a value to this. Is your friend just not that nice or narrow minded?

I've had similar bitchy comments from one of my friends who I think is also a bit jealous.

7 is more like a stroll to next door or the corner than 'around the block'!

Im really worrying its way above average!

Why? It doesn't matter. It isn't something that will affect any part of your future. Who cares.

How many has she slept with? Not that it’s relevant - just wondering if 6,5,4,3,2,1 or 0 was her version of acceptable for YOUR life? Do you see how irrational this is?

If she is wonderful, kind, respectful and loyal - and this was a little banter then let it go.

But if she has form keep a tally of any further (or previous) micro aggressions or judgements from this person - if you spot a few - fade her fast.