How to tell DP I can't stand the way he dresses

[Michelle56]

Sounds awful I know... I love him as a person and wouldn't be without him.

Been together couple of years now. seems more recently than ever before though he's been wearing these AWFUL jeans... washed out and ripped at the bottom. He is skinny so they don't hold round his bum 🤦🏻‍♀️ the back pockets always undone....

His personal hygiene is absolutely fine. Always smells amazing.

Also never wears smart shirts, even in situations where meeting family or smart occasions, wears the thick awful thick ripped jeans even in this heat lately .... nothing will get him in chinos, shorts or 3 quarter lengths!!

The tops he wears are cheap tops he has got free from a packet or an order or at least superdry, like an 18 year old would wear.

Thought he would change or I would at least get use to it .... I can't.... seems to be getting worse. I do feel awful but I need to say something now.

I have dropped hints about his 'washer out' jeans but he doesn't seem to get it. I don't know what to do without being nasty..... he wears them ALL the time so clearly can't be an issue for him.

As this is MN I am preparing myself for right abuse now

@Lifeislikeaboxofchocolat they are when they look like this. Just on a hot day surely ?

When I met dh I hated his clothes, he loved them. He had this one outfit he wore everywhere. We tried the shopping and the clothes presents but he always turned up in this awful outfit. We then moved in with each other and each month I would bin one item then deny every knowing what happened to it. Actually I don't think I ever told him.

I also remember when dating a guy many years ago, his clothes were just dire. I told him nicely and he rang me one day to say he threw everything out and bought all new clothes, I was delighted, until I saw them they were actually worse, everything had a shiny feel and look to it and the jeans dear god, he could have gotten 2 of him in them.

@Aquamarine1029 for the way he dresses we certainly have different standards ive tried to ignore it thinking he would dress different at least after a few of my comments...

@Lipz thank you for your comment, the binning of the clothes was a consideration of mine

They just don't understand do they I feel really bad mentioning it but it's to a point (please don't hate me) that lately I've been embarrassed to be out with him.

Following with interest. My husband has taken to over dressing all the time, beach trips in full suits.... totally out of place and not even slightly practical. Won’t carry the rucksack because of his shirt or blazer etc. Careful what you wish for OP!

@fruitpastille that's true, I have really complimented him when he wears the nice clothes, just didn't put two and two together.

It must be frustrating

Can't you just ask him to wear his smart dark blue jeans to dinner with your parents?

Personally I think 3/4 trousers on a man is not a good look no. A smart regular short yes. But hey, we’re all different, and like what we like.

Just out of interest, how old is your chap? As you said he wears t shirts that an 18 year old would wear?

@Lifeislikeaboxofchocolat he is 45

@pickingdaisies I will have to next time.... I think just be very black and white.

I like the three quarter length shorts, especially if they've good legs.

You could always act very passionate one night and actually rip the jeans off him. Then apologise and offer to buy new ones.

Oh I feel your pain! My husband still wears the same things from 10 years ago, he's just not intreasted in buying clothes himself or letting me buy him things, I was trying to be kind for years, but now I'm like nooo I hate that shirt, say goodbye to it, you may never see it again! And I make a joke if it, he's so fit aswell, he could look so dapper! But he's just happy as he is, and to be fair I've piled on 4 stone with having kids and he's never said anything! So I can't get so wound up about it, but he has Compromised to get a few new things.

@Flowerpot26 thank you. I think seeing what everyone has said I need to say something it's really affecting me 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

I am the type to wear a blazer and tight jeans and some smart boots... can you imagine what we look like together

He is lovely as well that's what makes it worse !!

DP currently has clothes from 10 years ago...

I hated my boyfriend clothes when we met, they looked so unflattering on him and were baggy. He always worse the same trousers and top. Anyway, I hinted but this never worked, I ended up snapping when he wanted to meet my parents wearing the same old baggy clothes.

He got the hint finally and now thanks me for his change of style. He agrees he needed to grow up. Just be honest with your partner OP.

Why on earth should he dress up to see the in laws? He doesn't have to wear shirts at all unless he's in a corporate job. My DH wears them only if we have a posh night out or he's in a suit or something.

I don't see anything wrong with those jeans tbh, but if his arse is hanging out that's a bit different.

Buy him a couple of nice and funky tshirts by all means, but if he's comfy in jeans and not shorts, who cares?

@ukgift2016 I will absolutely have to. I was close to snapping last week. Thank you.

@SoddingWeddings thanks for your message but I should point out those are not the exact jeans....

Not saying he needs to 'dress up' just not wear those jeans !!

Next time they aren't being worn, chuck them in the wash with a new red sock, job done. Unless you think he'd like pink jeans..

I actually like those jeans!

I haven't read the replies but I think as long as he is comfortable and happy, leave him be, OP. He can dress how he likes. There is more to life than a smart shirt and trousers.

@EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide good idea haha!

Bless him.... he is obviously just so comfortable in them... I can't even describe what they are like 🤦🏻‍♀️

Poor DP is quite skinny, the jeans are quite baggy so as you can imagine look a bit worse. I have never asked him this but I am now wondering if he is wearing them to not show the skinniness of his legs

I prefer him in his work dust- ridden work jeans!!

I understand the point on the jeans not being the same, but again, unless his arse is hanging out, does it matter?

I really think that if my DH came to me and told me he thinks I look like a slob when I dress that I'd be furious and offended in equal measure.

Imagine if he was criticising your wardrobe for being too smart, uptight or generic for example, but that you smelled nice....?

@InFiveMins thanks but those are not the exact jeans 🤦🏻‍♀️.... they are a lot worse than that. Couldn't even find the brand online.

@SoddingWeddings his arse is non-existent in them... I do worry about offending him....

I'm certainly not an up tight dresser but thank you 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

@SoddingWeddings if he did say to me he wasn't happy with the way i was dressing I would certainly change though.